New to the group

Hello, my son is 11 years old. Since starting school at age 5 there have been symptoms of ADHD that went ignored primarily because I attributed it to him being so young, also because I was terrified of both the stigma and of medicating. At age 7, when I finally did mention to his pediatrician that I wanted to have him evaluated for ADHD, I was given a questionnaire to fill out. Although the results seemed clear that he did have ADHD, the Dr. was not 100% convinced and suggested that I try modifying his diet, and told me that typically the recommendation for having a child evaluated for ADHD should come from a teacher or school administrator. I worked on adjusting his diet and implemented a more structured system at home, also set up incentive based rewards. I have stayed in close contact with his teachers and he has been on behavioral checklists in every class. Last school year there was an IEP meeting in which the school determined that he did not need an IEP. In my opinion his inattentiveness and impulsivity has been a distraction in the classroom and his grades have suffered for it. He is now in the 6th grade and I have recently went through the process of having the Vanderbilt assessments filled out by his teachers (he has 6 teachers). All of them were very happy to hear that this course of action was being pursued. I submitted the assessments to his pediatrician (a new one) and I have an appointment in a week or so to follow up with her. His first quarter report card has three E's, one D, one C, and one B. He is seeing a tutor with the hopes of bringing up his grades. I am searching for a psychologist or therapist as well. I am just curious as to what the next steps should be, or what I should expect. The process is not very clear to those who have not gone through it and I want to get him the help he needs as soon as possible.

17 Replies
oldestnewest

My sons situation is almost the same thing. My son got diagnosed at age 10 and he’s now 13 and a year away from high school. It’s very important you work with the school he’s in to set up a plan for him. Have you looked into a 504 plan?? It can really help him. My sons grades aren’t bad getting mostly B’s and C’s but he always gets a A in math. They aren’t stupid kids just have to find a way to cope with the adhd. Their minds are running a million miles a hour. Thinking of so many things at once. Dealing with my sons problem made me realize I have it too. I had all the same problems he did when I was a kid. Sorry I’m getting off task. It took my wife and I a while to grasp his condition. But just know your a great parent for trying to do everything you can to help your son succeed. Good luck!!

2 likes
Reply

Thank you for your response! Interestingly enough, I think I may have it myself. I have never had any behavioral issues in school and was always an A student, in the TAG (talented and gifted) programs, took AP classes in high school, never missed the honor roll, yet I was constantly daydreaming. I would actually miss a lot in class, but I was usually so far ahead of the class in the lesson it never really affected me. You are absolutely correct, these kids are not stupid in any sense of the word. My son is very bright, one small conversation with him and that becomes clear. He just needs to sit still and pay attention long enough in class to take in the lesson and get his work done. Thanks again and I wish you and your family the best as well.

1 like
Reply

Hi am sorry That you have to go through all that in my own opinion I think you did good by changing pidiatricians and also pushing it at his school.. I am not an specialist nor I have children of my own but I have raced a little girl as my own my husbands child who is 11. We my husband and I think she has ADHD because she has more than one Sintome but that doesn’t mean that we are right... we took her on Wednesday to her pediatrician but he seem very denial and her mom and him seem very sure that we are wrong. But that afternoon when we spoke to her two school teachers they both seem so see what we see on her too. Hopefully they can help us with all this and we get something good out of it so we can help our little girl. I get pretty frustrated because her mom is stubborn and she thinks that we are just trying to pick on her so she looks dumb and we get to place our little one at the school that we want her to attend. Which by the way my step daughter has been attending a school program that is bilingual she is leaning Spanish and English. Her grades are good in the English level but when it comes to Spanish she is struggling a lot her grades are 2 and in English she is a 4 she wanted to get the honor roll but she did not make it so she was desapoited and I felt so sad for her. But we told her that we are so proud of her for trying her best. Teachers said that she should not be in the DLI program for bilingual children but her mom thinks that this is what is best for her daughter and she will leave her there no matter what. Talk about a very selfish woman.

Be patience that’s all I can say and keep a journal of your son write all the things that he does and you feel that are not comfortable for you... good luck and hope to Hera good news from you 😊

1 like
Reply

Thank you! My son had his follow up appointment with his doctor last night and has been officially diagnosed. I am doing all that I can to ensure he gets the best out of his education and stays out of trouble, this is my greatest concern. I hope that all goes well with your step daughter. It was very difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that he does have ADHD, so I do understand where her mother is coming from. Ultimately we all want what is best for the children, we just don't always see eye-to-eye on what the "best" option is. Keep working with the teachers and maybe try a new doctor? Take it one step at a time.

Reply

Hi I have a question what happens if your doctors call that they need to speak to you and your child but the mother doesn’t want to take the child to the doctors can they tell you what’s wrong with the child if the child is not present at all?? And how do they determen if she’s ADHD or not ?

Reply

Honestly I am not sure. If the parents are at odds about what care the child should be given, you may need to check with a lawyer. Try creating a new post to see what other community members have to say, I have never been in this situation

Reply

personally i thinkyou know your child better than anyone. why would your pediatrician not offer medication as,an option knowing your child and his struggles? when behavior becomes a constant problem in the classroom your child will fall behind. it also labels him as a problem. my son is,10 and has been on medication since 4. though its not a perfect solution it doez offer tgrm a chance to get an education. your dr. should not rely on just the teachers for diagnosis. i hope that your son is anle to get the help he needs and is able to catch up.

1 like
Reply

Thank you for your response! My son was officially diagnosed with ADHD yesterday and his pediatrician prescribed focalin. We will be trying behavioral therapy as well. Back when my son was 7 and I first took him in to see his old pediatrician I was unsure about it myself. I probably could have pushed harder then, but I was mostly relieved to hear that someone else had doubts about it. I had high hopes that I could do things at home to help him like changing his diet, giving him more structure, more physical activities, checklists in class, etc. Over the years it became very clear that this alone would not help and you are right, he has fallen behind and has been labeled as a "problem". I regret not taking more serious action sooner. At times I still wonder if we (as a society) don't need a change in the way we are teaching kids who have ADHD, which I personally see as "learning differently". There is a school nearby that specializes in teaching children who have dyslexia and ADHD. The classroom sizes are small and they give the children more focused attention, more freedom to be themselves also. It is a private school though, and not cheap! Still looking into this option since they go from K-12.

Reply

Rita_27

Keep up the good work that u are doing!! Stay on the teachers and keep him on the IEP.. Keep the nutrition regime up and keep talking to his Pediatrician!!

Hope that encourages u.

1 like
Reply

I would start him on meds..

Reply

His doctor has prescribed focalin extended release capsules. Is your child taking any medication for their ADHD? Which one and what has their experience with it been?

Reply

My son is on Focalin. And it works.

1 like
Reply

Good to hear, thanks!

Reply

Thank you! My son was diagnosed with ADHD yesterday. Prior to this I had already mentioned to the middle school vice principal, counselor, and teachers that I wanted to look into a 504 or IEP plan. The vice principal recommended the 504 over the IEP and we will be meeting soon to talk it over. I still have more research to do regarding the two of them. Is there a great deal of difference?

Reply

You mentioned an IEP meeting. What were the assessment components? Did they offer a 504 Plan when he was not eligible for an IEP. In July, 2016 the DOE issued an ADHD resource guide to every school in the country. It is worth reading the 38 pages to see the expectations set for supporting students with ADHD.

Reply

The IEP was completely foreign to me at the time, and I was so emotional in that meeting because to me it felt like an attack on my son. I will admit that I don't think his 5th grade teacher cared for him at all so this didn't help. They wanted to determine whether or not he knew right from wrong, and whether or not he was purposely misbehaving in class and being irresponsible in not turning in his schoolwork. They did not offer a 504 and in hindsight I don't think they truly wanted to help my son, they just wanted to rule out the IEP before they failed him. Luckily, I stayed on him and worked with the teacher closely to ensure this did not happen. It was a very stressful school year! I will seek out the ADHD resource guide, thanks again!

Reply

Rita 27

Sounds like your going the correct channels. Keep on the schools with that IEP! That is supposed go with him thru High School!

1 like
Reply

You may also like...