hi parents,
My son with adhd was just uninvited to a birthday party because the other kid’s parents said they’re not getting along. To make it worse is the other kid also has adhd and I’m just disappointed his parents would blame my son for their kids behavior. For some reason anytime the two of them are together they get in trouble because they egg each other on/ dare each other to do things. I just feel bad for my son. He has trouble making friends
Hi MomUr 6yr old is supposed to be mischievous & what fun to hv a friend who is the same as he is.
Just incase u think my reply is not serious , I will let u know that due to genetics being rather strong I hv 5generations of ADHD from which to gain experience. Late diagnosed & thanks to an understanding partner I can help you with mountains of advice but definitely do not hv all the answers.
Unfortunately I am not the best at following up but will try to remember to return to answer any questions you hv left.
Penny
this is so hard! My 6yo has had two friends in the past couple of years that get into really crazy situations because they escalate each other. Imagine two 4yos screaming running wild through random peoples backyards to “trick the grown ups” lol.
This is hard and sad but you can also reframe it to realize that if they are uninviting you it isn’t a good fit. We pray for the day our kid finds a best friend who brings him down instead of amping him up. This gives you some space to look for that.
I would pay attention to how your kid is reacting to it. If this were me I would explain that different people make different choices about friends and parties and this was their choice, and it might hurt and is disappointing but we need to respect it. Then I would do something on that day 1:1 that feels special and fun.
It might be about your kid. Or it might be about their kid. Or something else! All you can do is love on your kid and find a way to move forward. I’m still really sorry this happened, though.
Wow, that is all kinds of messed up. Uninviting a kid is mean.
I hope your kid is not too sad about this. Maybe you can take your kid out to do something fun that day.
You would hope that other parents of children with ADHD would be allies, but it seems that the other parents would rather blame your kid instead of trying to structure opportunities for the kids to play safely together. For example, I recognized early on that my kid was an "outdoor breed", so we did not do indoor playdates. The exception was lego, or train dates, because he could focus on those for hours. Otherwise, he met friends outside, in all kinds of weather. He needed to be where he could be loud, run and touch stuff, without getting into trouble.
Making friends is hard for him, so I encourage him to join activities such as robotics, math classes, LARPing, that he enjoys, so that he can make friends based on shared interests.
Good luck to you and your son. I hope he is able to make some good friends, and that you are able to connect to sympathetic parents.
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