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ADHD Parents Together
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Hello...I am a single mother of 3 children. My middle child, a son, who is 11 year's old was diagnosed with ADHD and social anxiety when he was in the first grade. He's been on medication since then. As he gets older, his symptoms become more difficult to control. I've switched medication's to adjust to his growing body. He also sees a psychotherapist. He lies all the time, he's awkard and therefore, does not have any friends. I've tried a more holistic approach by adding supplements and taking away sugar and gluten without luck. He's not violent but he doesn't listen. He gets detentions for incomplete homework. He sasses his teachers, myself and grandparents. Of course, none of my friends know what I am going through. Just looking for support. Thank you.

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I'm so sorry; it's so hard. I have an 11 year old son with ADHD also, and at home it also manifests itself behaviorally with us, his parents, and with his younger sister. I've got no magic solutions; we are in the middle trying to find better approaches also. For us, right now that means trying to find some new doctors for support since I'm not sure his current ones are effective enough. I have found that he likes getting a massage as part of his bedtime routine, which I understand can be theraputic for kids with ADHD. I don't think it's helped materially with any symptoms, but it is at least a semi-reliable quiet moment in the day that we can both enjoy, and there are days when I really need that to help counterbalance all the difficult moments.

With respect to the detentions and homework is, have you spoken to the teacher about his ADHD and how it affects his behavior and schoolwork? Your son's teachers may or may not be aware of your child's situation and how it manifests and they may be more understanding and supportive of him if they know. I'm new to this also but have been doing some reading. We are in the process of having son formally evaluated by the school for either a 504c plan or an IEP (individualized educational program), which is an evaluation that public schools are required to do at a parent's request (for some more information, see education.nh.gov/instructio... Either plan, as I understand it, can include elements such as preventing teachers from issuing punishments for behaviors that are related to the child's disability, and they can include requirements for teachers such as giving the child extra time to complete assignments and tests without having their grades affected, and even getting some individual coaching for the child. Right now, I'm reading a book called "Executive Skills in Children and Adolescents: A Practical Guide to Assessment and Intervention." If your child's teacher is unfamiliar with ADHD or strategies for how to teach kids who have this, he or she might benefit from reading this book, and you may find strategies in it that you could suggest to his teacher. In any event, know that you are not alone on this journey.

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