Hello,my name is Jill and I have a fourteen year son, Charlie.( who is my life and only child.) Charlie has severe ADHD and is going into 8th grade. He is a kind, sensitive person with a fabulous sense of humor and is a outstanding dancer!! He is way, way more arty than sporty. If he could spend his whole day playing video games, that is what he would do. He is a fussy eater, his favorite food is oreos and milk. We used to have to force him to eat because he was never hungry when he was on his meds. Now that he is a teenager, he loves to eat but he's still very fussy. He loves fruit, carbs, mac and cheese. Hard to get him to try new foods.
Charlie is very outgoing and makes friends easily. He comes on super strong and it scares kids away. If Charlie wants to play with a friend, it is me that has to arrange it, host is and most of the time pick up and drop the friend off. Charlie rarely, if ever gets invited to anyone else's house. We have not had one invite and we are 1/2 way through the summer. It bums me out, so I do my best to make arrangements for kids to come to my house.
Charlie is immature for his age. He is 14 but probably acts more like 9 or 10. I held him back after 7th grade and put him in a private school. At the time, I believe that was the right decision for Charlie. He was experiencing high anxiety, which he has since had help with and it is much better.
I am struggling now with putting him in 8th grade public to prepare him for a public high school. Charlie can receive many more benefits through public education that private and I feel that is the best route to take with an IEP. Any one have any thoughts or ideas??
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JillArgall
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We had a very bad experience with our large public high school and to be truthful, I haven't seen very many good posts about public high schools on this site.... Your son should get an IEP or 504, but ours was never followed and we found our son's teachers to be either punitive or disinterested in any kind of help. No one cared that he had ADHD and the repercussions lasted for years. You can certainly try and public 8th grade and see how that goes, but I have doubts about the services, unless he actually qualifies for special education. As far as the social activities go, could he be in Scouts or get involved with a church youth group? Or maybe a local community theater?
Hello, first I have to say my son is a fabulous dancer also!! He just had natural rhythm. That was so cool to read!
What a difficult decision to make.
In general, I would think, if he can get a lot more help in a public school, then that would be the way to go. Just my opinion.
I’m really sorry to here about the social calendar drying up over summer. It’s so hard to watch our kids miss out on those friendships. My son is banned from one friend’s house because he punched a hole in the wall. It was an accident and not done in anger. They were rough housing but my son was banned.
Hi Jill, First of all you need to stop and breathe. I can feel your anxiety through your words. Being a mom of an ADHD kid is exhausting. I have two so I feel for you.
Charlie sounds like a great kid, but he's struggling with socialization the most. I'm not sure what kind of medication you have him on (which I don't remember if you said or not) and I'm not sure what all you've tried. Sometimes you have to go through trial and error. We did. If medication changes their personality it's not for them.
Our middle son was a very high strung ADHD kid. He was diagnosed at 4 years old. After regular meds didn't work (it made him comatose) we took him to a Naturopathic doctor who found two of the linings of his stomach missing. After replacing those he did a 180. Teachers came at me amazed. They said now he's sitting in his seat, he quit scaring kids and blurting things out. Big change.
Now our oldest was diagnosed at 9 years old. The same doctor said his ADHD was more neurological. So we treated him differently for awhile. My advice is to keep looking at doctors, see what's out there that can help. Watch the foods he eats. I know he's picky, but sugar, red dyes, milk and preservatives are not good for ADHD kids. They make them more hyper. The only book I can think of is the one by Dr Amen's wife TAna Amen the book is called EAt healthy with the Brain Doctor's wife.
As for his socialization, try to find an outlet for hyperactivity like walking, jogging, basketball or something he can exhaust himself with, yet enjoy. We always gave a time limit on the video games and told the boys to go be kids. It's so tough when there's just one, but get him involved. Tell him to just try something at least once. Find his niche and watch him go.
I was so anxious when my kids were little. Now they are 21, 19 and 16. The two oldest have ADHD. The middle one still amazes me every day. He's got lots of friends, going to college and going to play college basketball. So remember there is hope. If I can help you let me know.. Good luck!! Stay in touch!
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