ADHD Parents Together

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Hi, my 12 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. He's on medication and sees a therapist once a week due to behavioral problems. He has an IEP at school but I keep getting calls about the smallest things he does. for example he had his hoodie on and they called me for that. When I asked him about it he told me he removed it, so I feel like he's being targeted for anything he does. Do any of you feel this way with your children who have ADHD?

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Yes! Even my 11 yr old son feels targeted. If someone picks on him, he will tell the teacher, but her response is always she'll take care of it but doesn't. When he finally has enough and gets louder telling the other kid to stop, he's sent to the office. He shouldn't yell at others but the teacher should try to shut down the situation.

Adding to that, he reacts badly behaviour wise to red dye. They have a doctor's note on file saying he can't have it. Yet they let him for a few days in a row and he ended up in a fist fight at school.

I've had other teachers tell me he is by far NOT the "naughtiest" in the class, but he's the loudest so he gets in trouble. It sucks, because he hates school whereas until this year he loved it :(

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Rose I understand how teachers can pick and choose behavioral issues. With my daughter, she has caused tremendous tension and has a bad relationship with some of her teachers and this has caused these petty phone calls. I have had to speak to the administration , and the teacher at hand and remind them to be the adults. We forget that teachers are also adults with human needs and my daughter sometimes pushes the wrong buttons and can be very defiant causing the teachers to feel disrespected and offended. I still don’t have it figured out I just rake it week by week. I am currently looking into starting therapy with her.. I hope that helps some

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raguillon12, I can totally relate to you. I believe that there are some teachers and administrators who do not fully comprehend how to deal with students with ADHD. Therapy has helped my son my husband and myself how to live with and understand ADHD. Also reading various books and articles have helped immensely too. I also gave my son a self help ADHD book for teens. Good luck!😊

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Can you send me a list of the books you have read? Most of my reading has been from online articles.. Thanks.

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Smart but Scattered , Smart but Scattered teens and ADHD is not a Four Letter Word. These were books that I found helpful . I purchased The ADHD workbook for teen for my 13 year old son. He doesn’t write it in as instructed( he really dislikes writing. He is more comfortable verbalizing ). I do find him browsing through it from time to time.

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Thank you!!

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I agree with you. There are teachers who understand, have patience and who will do there best to try and accommodate your child . Then you have those who have zero tolerance. Those teachers need to be reminded that our children need to be dealt with a little differently. The 504 and IEP are legal documents that each teacher needs to follow. Recently my son was very upset with the way his Math teacher was belittling him in front of other students. From September until December he tried to deal with this teacher who wouldn’t make any accommodations for him. Right before the Christmas break my son asked me if it would be alright for him to speak with the Guidance counselor about switching to another Math class. He explained the situation to his counselor and the counselor agreed . I emailed the counselor stating that I agreed too. I have encouraged my son to advocate for himself which isn’t always easy . I will always make sure that my son receives the Education he is entitled to. I have many family members who are teachers. They encourage me to stand up to the teachers who aren’t making the necessary accommodations . My family members encourage me to remind certain teachers and administrators what my child’s needs are and how they are to accommodate him and all students with special needs. Good luck!😊

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Rose, (and all the others) - I feel your pain. I am kind of removed from this now as my son is 26 now but let me tell you when he was a child some years were a nightmare. The right teacher can make a huge difference - he had two that really understood him and brought out the best in him. The others.. well, that is a story for another day. But I do remember feeling that my son was targeted for anything and everything that came down the pike. The years that he was on stimulant medication he would not have an appetite at lunch, so he would just eat a snack or something. So of course I had to hear about it, how my son does not eat a decent meal etc. He also suffered (and still does) from migraines so would get sick a lot in school and there were those teachers who thought he was just trying to get out of class. One time a teacher would not let him go to the nurse to get his headache medicine and he ended up vomiting in the trash can in front of the class. I hit the roof when I found out about that. A few years before that, he was having a tourettes-like reaction to medication and was having tics, he was made to stay in at recess as punishment. When I reported this to the principle, he told me "we think you are just making excuses for your son." I could go on and on... 10+ years of stories. But we got through it, day by day, year by year. I tried to provide a very loving and accepting atmosphere at home, with lots of laughter and fun things too. Also I learned to do one of his favorite pastimes: video games. This has continued until today, as I have my own Xbox One and play several games on a regular basis. Even my tag on this post, dubst3pM4UL, is my gamertag! Hang in there Rose!

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I have a 504 plan in place for my daughter. It gives the teachers tools in how to best respond to my daughter in certain situations. I am fortunate that her principal, school counselor, and teachers are very supportive. Before the 504 plan we had the same issues. Now we have a “team” in place to assist her. The school must follow the 504 plan before they call me.

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I would want to call a meeting with his teacher(s), principal, special ed director, school social worker, and psychologist. Make sure you are documenting every call, email etc.

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