suicide/outlet

On Saturday night i chased a bottle of champagne with half a litre of Whiskey, then I overdosed on my antidepressants (Sertraline). I took 2400mg, a toxic overdose. I self harmed a lot, too. Many of the cuts needed stitches.

I didn't go to hospital that night. I spent 24hrs vomiting, shaking, hallucinating, falling in and out of consciousness, convulsing etc.

At the hospital 48hours later, my blood pressure, tests and heart is fine, although I'm still shaking.

I don't really want to be okay internally, i'm not okay internally. i still don't want to be here. I hate the pain i'm causing everyone, i just can't.

just needed an outlet but i'm too tired to even say how i feel or anything.

12 Replies

oldestnewest
  • What did the hospital say / do?

  • checked my blood pressure, took a blood test, checked my arms but they were too late to be stitched and stuck a heart rate monitor on me. I wasn't offered to speak to the psych.

  • Doesn't sound very helpful. What got you to A&E eventually? (I am so glad you did)

    Much love x

  • thank you. Went to the doctors before telling my mum 2 days later because I couldn't bear lying to her. Doc rung toxicology and urged me to get there asap. My mum's heart broken.

    thank you.

    Much love to you x

  • Don't think overdosing on sertroline can kill you. I tried that and mirtazapine 5 years ago. I just slept for 2 days then woke up feeling groggy and weak. I never told anyone. I asked my doctor if you could kill yourself with sertroline. She said probably not but possible with alcohol.

    I did another one 4 years ago and ended up in A n E. Did see psychiatrist in hospital but that was it. No one bothered because no cares these days. You only have to read that story about that poor woman who jumped with her son under a train the other day.

    A friend's grandson commited suicide a month ago at the age of 18. Despite a long history of mental health problems and numerous suicide attempts they wouldn't keep him in hospital. As soon as he got out he did it again - and succeeded this time. There is precious little help or hope for any of us if that can happen.

    Sorry I can't cheer you up. I feel like that myself.

    Bev x

  • I have felt suicidai but never as desperate as the people on here. I just think of my husband and my girls and how devastated they would be. A friend of mine, her son commited suicide and the family are broken and will alwys be questioning why he din't come to them for help and why they didn't see it coming. Please all of you there has to be help somewhere.... even tha Samaratins or help lines. Don't devastate your families,. they will never get over a suicide. io wish you all the very best. xx

  • hi, in september i was hospitalized because of a major overdoes (sertraline, duloxetine and mirtazapine) i had the same symptoms but my heartbeat was all fooked up too it was not nice, especialy being only 23 at the time, it took me 2 years to finally get a referal to a psych, who finally re-diagnosed me (personality disorder) that for me made things a little bit better knowing the problem, i also have the cuts, even a big scar on my forehead fromv when i smashed my head into a wall at work, i know it is easier said than done but just try to chill out forget about everything, lie in a dark room and listen to music (always helps me), at work i am shamefully mistreated because of time off i have had (been back 8 weeks after 3 months off), the problem with people is that they can not see mental illness, therefore it does not exist, do not ever think you let people down (coming from me, who can not take his own advice) otherwise the downward spiral starts again, your family will not want you to do anything SILLY, will they ?! sorry for the bad spelling, grammar and punctuation, quite hard to think perfectly straight

  • I was sorry to read about your OD and your self harming. Did your Dr. refer you to anyone, if not please go back and tell him you need to talk to someone. Is there a support group you could go to. I have never done this, but I am much older, I know its very hard to cope with this when your younger with all the trials that youth brings.

    Try talking to your Mum too, she must be v. worried, Anyway I am sending a big big hug, and please look after yourself as you are much too precious to join the silly club. We need you here. Love. Hannah

  • Hi

    Oh that sounds as if you had a really harm time to make you overdose and self harm. Do you have anyone to support you, maybe someone from the CMHT? It does sound as though you need some support especially at times when things are hard. Don't forget that talking with the Samaritans can really make a difference and they are available most of the time - also writing what you are feeling on the website here can help prevent feelings from becoming as extreme. Do take care of yourself and if you feel unable to do that then do talk to your GP about that difficulty, life's too short as it is to play around with your health in such extreme ways, you might find one day you make a mistake and no longer have the choice of living.

    I do agree that talking with your Mum if you feel able to is important, even if she finds it difficult I'm sure she would rather at least have the chance of helping in some way.

    I do hope you find some support.

    Suexx

  • casey- if i could reach inside you and take out the ball of hurt and pain for you, i would. go back to your docs- if he/she is no help-demand to see another- i know you are exhausted with all this- believe me, i know how tough it is but please dont hurt yourself anymore- you are a very special, precious person. sending you all love and massive hugs, sorry its all i have. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • You need to honey, really you do, its starts with being honest with yourself, you know your not well, and the pain is oooowzing out of you. You need to see a doctor, and be honest about how your feeling, and what youhave just done.

    I think theres some deep inner issues going on, and they need addressing later, when you start to feel better.

    Counselling with a person who has a speciality with self harmers.. but if you had a bad past,,, maybe Inner child work. No one is going to know your hurting,,, unless you confess,, how much your hurting. There is a lot of people who care,,, you just have to find them.

    But if there is someone you know you could confide in,, this is the first step, it gets easier after that.

    take care, and talk more if you need to chat again, were here for you x

  • thank you everyone. you're so kind. xx

You may also like...