Can’t do this anymore. It’s one step forward, 2 steps back all the time. I’m never going to get anywhere near where I want to be. I just want to feel “okay” not even happy, just okay. I feel nothing. I can’t cope...
I really want to self harm. I don’t even know if I’m allowed to say that on here but it needed to be said. Need to feel something. I’m ready to give up.
Please remember. You came into this world for a reason. Think about your parents, your siblings or your grandparents. You came so you could rise to the top like a star. I believe in you. I believe you have potential and that one day you will look back at this night and thank yourself for not taking this decision.
For now drink some water and eat some fruit. If not then workout for some time, it'll help you calm down
I get the feeling of just wanting to feel okay, not even happy. I'm at the same place ..
Here if you need to talk
You are amazing! Struggling immensely, yet extending yourself to a fellow traveler...
Kudos! Get up soldier...carry on....progress is present
whether you see it with your senses, or not...nature of change/progress...
5 steps forward and 2 back...1 step back..and 3 steps forward...
sometimes a cheerleader, Connie
Thank you very much. It helps me to do my best to help others c
Hello Anxious Heart.
Life can feel one step forward, two steps back especially when we are in our teens and trying to make a way for ourselves, life can be overwhelming and believe me when I say everyone has felt the same sometimes in their lives we are all do get overwhelmed at some time. All we can do is walk on and eventually you will feel more in control of your life.
If you feel the need to Self Harm or feel in any way at risk you need to see your GP, Make an Appointment. He will help you in various ways. There are treatments that do not meed the taking of medications. I feel you may need to talk and put your life in some form of perspective. If needed members are here to help you, although your GP will know you and understand the dynamics of your life.
See Your GP
BOB
Thanks for your advice. My gp is useless. I’m currently on 50mg sertraline. Whenever I go to him he always says “it’s all in your head” or “just stop thinking negative”. I don’t like seeing the go at all because I feel I can never say what I want to. I see a counsellor at college, it helps I guess but I still don’t tell her everything because we get referred under the mental health act if suicidal or self harm
Do you have any support groups in your area? I go to one for depression and bi-polar. It is a safe place where you don't worry about what you say. Other people are going through the same thing and everyone offers each other encouragement.
I’m not sure. Are these groups free and would I have to go to the gp to get into a support group? I’m in the U.K. if that helps
The ones I go to are free but are also in the U.S. I just googled depression support groups in my area and that is how I found them. I got a few phone numbers of some of the members. There is one guy who I went on a walk with him and his support dog. It was good to get out of my house and head.
That’s sounds so helpful, I will try and search some
Please don't give up. I'm sure that there are a lot of people that care about you. There are people here for you too. I'm here for you too if you need.
No one cares, there’s no reason for me to be here
Just curious, what are you studying in college?
Biology, maths and Sport. Failing all of them, exams start wednesday
Is your counselor helping you out? What about your parents?
Yes she’s very helpful but I can’t tell her about being suicidal or self harming as I’ll be put under the mental health act. My parents are good to but I don’t want to burden them with my feelings so I don’t talk to anyone. This is my only outlet where I can release all
Love group help, much more effective than most 1 on 1 counseling, imo.
Freekin mental health, and I use that term lightly, is so broken in the US as well as UK!
Was a helping professional here in US for 20 years...let my license lapse,
Not because of the stress of clients, they were my joy to serve...
Itz the damn system that caused all my burnout and stress!
Kept by His grace, c-l-c
Hello Anxious Heart
Are you finding medications are effecting your education at College ? I took them when I was in my teens and they really caused problems. Are there any activities you could try at College, they would help you divert your fears and low mood.
If you ever feel Suicidal, call NHS INFORMATION LINE Tel 111
To help you relax try MINDFULNESS Relaxation Technique, you will find explanations on the web
Diversions and Hobbies do work and allow you to get away from all the negativity around you, you will also make new friends that will help your mood
BOB
Thanks. I’m on sertraline at the moment and it doesn’t seem to be doing anything, it doesn’t affect college but also doesn’t affect my mood. I need to change it I think, but I’m not going to change it yet until I have my exams out of the way.
I also play football, it helps sometimes but I also get frustrated quick with it
How long have you been on setraline? Have they ever adjusted the dosage?
Btw, it is called soccer,not football. Football is what we have in the states. 😊
About 6 months, and no I’ve not been back to my doctor yet because he’s not very good. Doesn’t understand mental health at all.
And noo football in england😂
I would suggest keep up with playing soccer (I mean football😉). I play hockey and other sports with my daughter and kids on the street. It takes me out of my head. Doing that and playing guitar are escapes for me.
Keep up with your football it will increase the good chemicals in the brain. Good luck with your Exams
BOB
Hi I so understand what you are saying but surely it's better to be under the mental health act than kill yourself? In my experience though they only take action if you are a danger to others or yourself. If you are suicidal then you would need to have a plan in place and the means to do it.
The other thing is at 18 you are legally an adult and there is no reason for anyone else including your parents to know unless you choose to tell them. Anything you say to a doctor/counsellor etc. is completely confidential. If you were a minor and suicidal ok then they would probably have to tell your parents but not at 18.
I presume you are at a group practice? In which case you can see any doctor you like so find someone more understanding. Some GP's just don't get mental health and yours sounds like one of those. x
Thanks. I understand what you’re saying.
And yes I am, I will ask if I can speak to a different doctor, maybe they will be more helpful. Thanks for your support x
You are welcome. When my depression became bad again around 10 years ago I went to a doctor who was awful. He just gave me some sleep leaflets and said he thought I was an 'uptight' person. I was very upset. I then asked the surgery which doctors were nice and went to the one they recommended and she was lovely. x
That’s so good! I will try the same thing with mine, hopefully it’ll work x
Hi AnxiousHeart14
Here are some organisations for you to try these have private chats, organizations,there are lots of young men suffering like you and us too just know your not alone my friend...you have made the biggest step by talking about your emotions and how you feel you really don't know how strong you really are
Please remember you are LOVED....
your are WORTH ALOT
Your are STRONG
Everyone would NOT be better off without you in fact this is the complete opposite everyone's lives around you would never ever be the same if you ended it all believe me I'm speaking from experience I've just lost my 25 year old nephew he was a huge strapping lad done 2 tours in the army has a gorgeous fiance and a 7 week old son he was the life and soul of the party always laughing he was a proper man's man he took his own life his mother found him and we are all so heartbroken and devastated we had no idea he was even depressed and it has completely changed us all as a family I scream out in my sleep now I miss him like you can only imagine and his mum well she's literally heartbroken she aches for her son she carried for 9 months she can't get that image of him out of her head she's so ill now and traumatized because of it...I know when people do this they cant seem to find A way out but there is there really is the devastation caused to those who are left behind are indescribable the pain is felt through all of your loved ones and that will never go away if only my gorgeous nephew was like you and spoke up he would still be here today it literally breaks my heart to know how you young lads suffer but don't give up please be the voice for these guys tell someone you know how they feel you been there and there is a way out you are proof of it......
Here are some organisations for you to try and a self referral site to help you please contact them...
Nat xx
Youngmenshealthsite.org
Beyondblue.org
Www.nhs.uk on this site type in cbt therapy and look for help on that in your area...
calmzone.net
Jo@samaritans.org
Good luck my friend please stay in touch
Nat
Thank you xx
I think before leaving permanent scars you should consider perhaps making use of secondary mental health care services in a voluntary fashion (so still getting the same help in a ward or as an outpatient, but not being sectioned or anything like that). If it comes to it, you can go to an ER and ask for some voluntary time in a psych ward (I've done this twice) to sort out your thoughts, and they may well agree. The better approach would be to contact the local community assessment teams related to these services and the best would be to find a GP who isn't a complete idiot and talk to them about it.
Be aware that if you are admitted to a ward even voluntarily they may keep you in for say 2.5-4 months while they complete their assessments reports and procedures. During that time you may see a Consultant Psychiatrist maybe once a week, and just after admission. After a couple weeks or a little longer you will get 15 minutes leave to go out of the ward once or twice a day. The food at my local ward is very good and they had exercise machines, art groups and other activities.
At you're age you may well find such an environment quite shocking and perhaps threatening though due to the possible problems other patients might have and show.
I really hope you can find some peace with mindfulness or contemplation or reading deep books or your favourite movies or films. Exam time can be stressful but your mental health always has to come first. If you have to take a break or drop out completely (as I did after almost 2 years at a Uni) then just do it.
Self help groups and local charities and their helplines and finding a GP (either at your current practise or elsewhere) seem the most likely to be productive options for you. I wouldn't rule out the wards not everyone on them is sectioned and they do try and keep divisions on those basis. Get through this you are strong and if you do self harm that could well end up in a section or worse so just don't please!
Thank you, have taken all your advice into consideration with everyone else’s advice too. I appreciate your feedback and I’m very glad you can share your experiences xx
Really here to talk about ANYTHING you want Anxious. You have my unconditional support - a given.
Just beautiful, Suzanne_D!
Thank you very much, I’m here if you need me too xx
Anxious Heart. At 18 I know you cannot fathom the future. You cannot believe in 30, 40, 50, or more. Neither could I at 18. Why live for what doesn't even exist in your mind? But, I promise you this: a future does exist. YOUR future exists. You have so many adventures awaiting you. Some, like now, will be trials. Others will be glorious. You think no one cares about you? We do. I do. I want to know now, how your story plays out. Here is a support group & yes find one physically near you, too. Live, AH. Heal. One. Day. At. A. Time. Breathe. It is the 1st step in self care.
Thank you so much, appreciate it x
I’ve tried to use self harm as my escape for sooo long and it just doesn’t fix anything. It took for someone I love to do what I do to themselves for me to realise. Try not to fall into habits even when you feel like you have no other option. Is there someone you trust to talk to? I find talking to someone who understands about mental health helps, encourage you’re friends to read up on things so they can try and understand you better.. that way if you ever feel like harming yourself or ur minds taking over you can tell them and they can do/say the right things to help. Just please try not to hurt yourself because it’s a constant physical reminder of the pain I have to see my scars everyday with no escape. I wish I could go back and change that and made people listen and understand my pain instead. I hope you feel better soon! Just remember you’re not alone unfortunately many people our age are going through this shiz and nobody knows what to do about it
Thanks. It’s just I’m at the point of already having a load of scars too so it’s like, well if I already have them and see them everyday it’s so hard to stay clean now. Appreciate your feedback x
PLEASE do not self-harm. It's an endless anxiety of making sure your sleeves are up, you sometimes can't wear a bathing suit, constant personal questions from people who see, and you can NEVER stop thinking about it after you do. Bleeding out releases endorphins, making the feeling addictive. When you go back again, hurting yourself with the same strength, your body won't be satisfied, so of course, you have to cut deeper if you want to get the same feeling. It's a self-explanatory cycle after that. The weird thing is, you can never stop thinking about it. Self-harming is awful, and is an addiction that's hard to get out of. It's like alcohol, one drink would hurt, right? But before you know it, you're telling yourself "last drink, I swear'' while sitting in a pile of empty beer cans. The only difference is you can't just throw away the beer bottles, clean yourself up, or sleep it off. No, you're buzzed, and constantly surrounded by beer cans, and you do your best to try and hide the beer cans from your family, but at some point, summer comes around, and it wouldn't make sense to constantly have a jacket on, covering up the beer cans. It's hell, and even when you're going through the worst of times, don't give in, don't take that sip, because it's all downhill from there.
Please don't give up. We are all going the same way.
I live for the good days. But it is not easy.
No family, my best friend scarpered cos I shouted at her.
TRIGGER WARNING 
I give up
Trigger warning
*Trigger warning* Asap
