Hanging on to heartache

So...it's been a little over two years since my friend and I made out a few times and basically ruined our friendship by doing so.  We have mutual friends & not only did it impact my relationship with my friend, it impacted my whole social life & it still does.  As in, after he broke my heart it became painful to see him so to avoid running into him I felt I had to keep my distance from our friends as well.

It sucked and it still sucks.  And I feel ridiculous for not having been over this long ago, especially considering we never even went out.  But we were good friends for a couple years before and we told each other we loved each other so it hurt very much when he blew me off and didn't even make the effort to just straight up say "I'm not interested."

I think it is also the fact that my heart had been broken so many times before him so it was just the straw that broke the camel's back.  Just being so tired of heartbreak in general.

Ever since, the city I live in has been clouded by this for me.  I moved here because I needed a change, and it was awesome, but now it feels shrouded in this ache.  Still have good times sometimes but this still effects me.

Also I see people who get over actual long-term relationships ten times quicker than I've gotten over this so it makes me feel so silly.  Believe me, I want to let go of the hurt, the resentment, just let it go.

Anyone else find heartbreak hits them super hard, like harder than the average bear?  

8 Replies

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  • It's just a lesson :) I'm finding friends is much safer than lovers (but I'm probably a lot older than you!). Sorry you've been hurt; to be honest if people get over things that quickly then that is to say they never had strong feelings in the first place; it's normal to be very upset and hurt by something like this and for it to take a long time to recover. 

    Hope you can build up your sense of self worth a bit and maybe then you will have more confidence in yourself, but you're doing fine; you're just a sensitive person and maybe have some self esteem issues but being honest many people have this.

    Take good care, Gemma x

  • Thanks

  • I feel your pain. I'm trying to get over pretty much the same and not its not easy.  I've been trying to keep really busy but early morning and evenings are awful. My anxiety is another level then because it's then the thoughts begin. I hope the pain subsides for  us soon. Do you have any hobbies?? The old cliche exercise really can help! I'm off to try myself now lol .... Hundred star jumps here I come!  Wish u better n keep trying lovely x

  • Aw, thanks so much and good for you doing exercise!  Star jumps are freakin intense.  I started exercising & meditating every morning myself because gotta do something, u know?  on day five now woohoo.  And been making myself (and I do mean making myself) go out and do something social every day, like face to face old school socializing.  As far as hobbies I love music and art.  Especially drawn to music right now.  Keep it up with the exercising!  Hope your pesky heartache anxiety blues ease up & you find some nice ease.

  • Omg I've been doing the same as you just said 👍🏻 😀 Just played Amy Winehouse cd full blast and sang along , throat feels like sandpaper but I feel loads better for now!! Keep the spirit Hun ! X

  • :-)

  • In the seventies I was keen on ballroom dancing I would generally attend at least twice a week and I would meet up with regular dancers where we always had someone to dance with, we did not go out with these people generally although a few did go out together for a time. Sad to say these relationships broke up after time and when this happened it was very rare that both people came back to the group.

    Generally we would date outside the group at the  dance hall, this seemed to be ok. The group dates were just not done as it seemed to be to painful for them to return.

    When we picked someone up we danced outside the group or visited another dance hall.

    What you described seems so very common I suppose it is hard to return to an old situation

    BOB

  • Huh, that's such an interesting slice of life and time you described.  It definitely holds parallels to my situation.  Thanks for sharing.

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