Hi everybody. I have no one to talk to as people generally don't understand, so I joined today with the hopes of finding some form of help and to talk to someone or maybe just vent. I am currently in uni and while this year has been challenging, I did well at school and have applied for Honors. I don't have any real friends except my boyfriend but we broke up three days ago. He wants to get back together but I cant because of a number of reasons. Anyway, I had seen a therapist for a while two years ago and I developed new coping methods for what I believed was social anxiety and depression. After writing my last exam on Monday which I did not do well in, and post breakup I have been experiencing insomnia. I have not left my apartment because I am not yet ready to. I just feel like my life is falling apart and I am the reason. I drank wine at times to help me feel better but it only makes me feel worse the day after and never really solves anything. I have a lot on my mind particularly my future.If I don't make it to Honors next year I have no idea how I will support myself and don't want to be a burden to my family financially. I just feel like a failure. All my peers have made it and I have no idea what direction my life will take and this scares me. I feel like the problem. A weirdo, outcast. My family is going on a cruise this December and I don't wanna go. I do not belong and need to deal with myself. I also don't want to be bad company or a nuisance to anybody . Everything is falling apart. I have now ceased having a menstrual cycle although I am not expecting, my ex and I were always safe. I don't want to go anywhere or eat. I wish I could just sleep forever. Because reality is horrible
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