im so depressed just now having a hard time missing my mum ! all i seem to be doing is crying and im getting really down having really bad headaches which brings up fears of when i had my tbi i 2-3 years ago is it going to happen again because of the amount stress im feeling dont know were to turn to ? im afraid to go to bed as i keep thinking i m not going to waken up ! david

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8 Replies

  • Is there someone you can talk to losing someone is painful specially your mother whom you clearly loved alot. Do you have family who can help you through this tough time it never hurts to express your fears and pain rather than bottle it up where like a monster it will grow and consume you. People here will listen so talk to them. Wishing you a speedy recovery. Russell

  • Hi David, my heart goes with you in your hour of need, such a loss as yours is going to be so hard to bear and you have to dig so deep to give yourself the love and compassion that is needed.

    There can be so much fear when you have to move forward in life, but cling on strong to the happy memories that your mum gave you, you know if she were able she would be engulfing you with her hugs and love, so try to help her by slowly feeling the sunshine, take a walk away from the darkness and loneliness inside, you don't want those feelings, try to talk your feelings out, be with people as much as you are able, it may be a long journey but your mum wanted you to find happiness and love, just like she found it by watching you grow and develop into a wonderful person.

    Lots of hugs Moni xx

  • Dear David, of course you are going to feel like this - you have just lost your beloved mum for Gods sake. Part of what you are feeling is the stress of the past few months coming out now as you probably didn't realise how this can affect you. No one does until afterwards.

    I know when my mum died - none of us realised at the time how stressed and on edge we all had been for ages, and when she finally did go this hit us like a ton of bricks. It is normal. I know this is a much overused cliché but time really is a good healer. What you need to do is let yourself feel the grief and the pain and don't fight it, just give into it for as long as it takes. You will start to feel better in time - honestly but you are grieving right now. Be kind to yourself and recognise how you feel.

    I found the things that helped most with me was being with family, even if we didn't talk about her it was a great comfort. When you have lost a dear family member the ones you have left are more important so seek solace with them.

    Lots and lots of special warm hugs coming your way. Always here for you if I can help in any way.

    Bev xx

  • I am so sorry for your loss. The stress of loosing a loved one in never easy. You need to let yourself grieve, it will take time. Find someone close to you who you can talk to about how you are feeling. Spend time with friends and family and take it day by day. My depression and stress caused really bad migraines, but they became less as I have been working through my depression and stress.

    Even although you probably won't feel like it at the moment make sure you are eating a healthy diet and try to get out in the sunshine as well. Your mum wouldn't want you to become ill.

    Remember the good times with your Mum and remember that she will always be in your heart.

    Please talk to someone about how you are feeling and it is okay to cry as well.

    Please take care of yourself and take it day by day. It will get better.


  • thank you for your kind words its been a rollercoaster over the last few months have indeed ! feeling really rough the headaches and nausea are the worst bit about it everything is hitting me at once hoping things will get better after tuesday ! take care my friend david

  • Hi david,

    Its never easy getting over someone close that you have lost. I lost my mum 8 years ago and it takes time. try not to put a time scale on when you should feel better, as everyone deals with a family loss in different ways. some recover quick who have their own family and some take time. give yourself time to grieve as its a natural feeling so best to let it out and try to talk to someone or family don't bottle anything up. death is part of life and all living beings great and small will see this time to come and the moto of life is to enjoy it and not worry about tomorrow. Always remember the fonder and any funny moments you can remember. Every human beings have virtues that stand out and make the person who they are special so remember those and maybe implement some of those in yourself.

    I'm not sure of your age or if you have family of your own but Just be aware there are some people out there who may take you out to loosen you up maybe with drinks or clubs/bars so just be very careful of these people. they think they are doing you a favour but it's not what you want at this moment in time so best to avoid.

    Where ever your mum is in spirit she will want to see you happy and once you will she will move on. I would advise counselling and they will help you to heal any wounds you have that may have arisen from losing your mother.

    Hope this helps

  • Hi David and I have just now found out about your Mother, David May she rest

    In peace, you have my sincere sympathies.

    It's very natural to be so upset right now, Inlost a partner six years ago and I

    Was very tearful for about a 6 months. Time does help make the pain more bearable

    David try and hang on to all your good memories of your Mom, and talk to family

    About your grief. When we suffer from Depression grief hits us so so hard.

    Please come here David for support and you will be in my thoughts.


  • hi their it is hard to lose someone in death you think that the pain will never go away i lost my dad in 2001 then pain slowly goes but the memory of them in still in you mind and heart, the only way i think of my dad now is that he isn't in pain or suffering now just fast asleep in death, i know this can help today, tomorrow hasn't come and that's the fear of taking each day as it arrives i hope your husband David is helping you at this sad moment in dealing with your grief take care hope this helps you with your grief take care i'm here if needed bigalan

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