HI everyone , I have had depression for long time . I have selfharmed ,been at hosphcstital and treated last , as felt I have just self harmed .......I have to fight my self harming not good .....I find if I don t self harm I feel worse, I hate doing it .....but it makes me feel good inside ....to night bad night I knew it was drawing in I know when its going to happen People think am mad ..may be I am ..but I don t think so .I knew my head when it changes ,I try and protect people ...if you understand ... I do ...But my BRAIN and head change I cannot control it ..I want to ...I think of killing myself ..but all I can do is self harm.....and am sorry to say I love it ...then I come down....I have not self harmed for a month ,,,its not deeping but I have in my head more ideas dr or pyshtiatrist is no help . Iam on the road to fulfilling my aim and that is suicide .BUT no not know my angle in life ..please need a reply xx
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