Is it that bad to just give up?

Since my mother died in 2001 I've been depressed, sad, kind of empty.

Now I'm 23. I have my father, two sisters and two half-brothers.

I have a boyfriend and my two beloved cats.

But I feel so alone. All alone and not understood. Always want to cry but never do.

But the past days I've been like, is it really that bad to take the last step of life and go forward?

Right now the only reason i don't is because of my cats.

I love my family but even with them I feel all alone.

Death can't be that bad. There's no pain, no guilt, no nothing.

15 Replies

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  • I know those feelings... being alone even when others are there. Depression causes thinking like that. Please know that the hopelessness, sadness will pass. Your family and cats would be deeply sad if they lost you... You are young and I can tell you being an older person there are so many times I've been thankful that I've stuck around because life has some wonderful unexpected miraculous times that I would have missed if I'd followed my depressive thoughts... Please hang in there, talk to people you trust. Wishing you hope and happiness for this coming new year. Prayers and Blessings... Tamra

  • Hi there this grief reaction is going on far too long and if left untreated can

    Can damage you. 13 years is far too long so please go to your :Dr and get help for This and start living your life.

    Hannah

  • Please don't think that way. Depression does this to you. Try to just relax and make 'me time.' Time to just Chill out! Destress by thinking of more positive and Fun things to do... Do you like going to the cinema, just go on a long walk with music on an MP3 player (cheap to buy from Argos). Do things 'What you enjoyed doing in the past.' Go have some great SEX or What ever 'you must love or like doing.' Think Positive thoughts and email me: sexysocasam@yahoo.com (my DJ name..lol) - I can be of some help to you. Death is only an option when one is actually dying! You HAVE EVERYTHING To LIVE FOR! Please DO NOT TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE! I WILL Try MY Best TO HELP YOU! Soca Sam

  • TeaJay also gives you great advice... please be patient and seek help from Samaritans - they have a Depression Team and Group; which could and should help you. Soca Sam

  • With all due respect Soca Sam, encouraging someone to deal with what are obviously deep rooted problems, by going off and finding some 'great sex', is neither helpful nor safe advice. This is a depression forum, not the Playboy Channel.

  • Totally agree Lucy , that advice is totally inappropriate.

  • Sorry to hear that you are feeling the way you do.. Sorry for you lose

    The feeling you are feeling would be that you are depressed are you taking anything have you tried talking to your dad ? And letting them know how you are feeling ? I know it's not easy but you can't go around thinking that DEATH is the only option life is hard on us all an it takes some getting use to and anything that's thrown in your way you have to manage that also but just so you know your not alone we all feel bad and alone we all have battles to over come but your not alone you have us here to talk to and support you I know its not the same as been there in person but no matter what talk please let us help you

    Hope you al the best and hope you feel better soon

    From Ian

  • Hello Rikkeljk

    It is not 'bad' to give up. Wanting to give up is a natural response to just having too much to cope with. Ultimately the decision to live or not live your life is yours and no one else's. Something I've learned is that telling someone that they have more reasons to live than to die, or reminding them how many people will be left behind if they die, doesn't really help. Talking about suicide is a cry for help, whether intenational or not.

    I completely agree with Hannah. 13 years is a very long time to still be battling with such intense feelings. I can only imagine it must be completely consuming you. There are people out there who can really support you and work with you to change your outlook and the way you view the world around you. I think you should make an appointment to see your doctor and in the meantime there are so many people on this forum that you can talk to, anytime.

    Lucy x

  • I believe that your mother does not want you do this way. She wants you live happily and move forward to better life in future. All you need to do is book an appointment to see your GP and ask for help. Think about your mother and your cat. You are not alone because they are always be with you.

  • Hello Rik

    These feelings are very common when someone dies. Thoughts like what if,?. why.?. If I,?. come to mind.

    We will blame ourselves of the death, and even start blaming other people including relatives and then we can start with the treatments the person had and the way the treatments went before the death come to mind. Then again we will start discussing other actions at the funeral and afterwards

    You need to be kind to yourself and understand that no-one could have done anything else. You will always suffer sadness although you will also remember the positive feelings that you had when the person was alive

    BOB

  • Hello Rik

    These feelings are very common when someone dies. Thoughts like what if,?. why.?. If I,?. come to mind.

    We will blame ourselves of the death, and even start blaming other people including relatives and then we can start with the treatments the person had and the way the treatments went before the death come to mind. Then again we will start discussing other actions at the funeral and afterwards

    You need to be kind to yourself and understand that no-one could have done anything else. You will always suffer sadness although you will also remember the positive feelings that you had when the person was alive

    BOB

  • Death is not bad I myself is looking forward to it but it is the people that you leave behind that will feel the pain and guilt I still live with the pain of my parents' for over 20 years. Remember your mother in a positive way I remember sometimes when a song comes the way my dad used to do a ridiculous dance and then I smile talk about her specific things to your bf or father it helps.......

  • Sorry for not answering. Have been busy. But still alive tough!

    Thanks for all your response!

    It helped.

  • Hello Rikkeljk, Depression is an illness, it is nothing to be ashamed of. Please see your doctor as soon as possible. If you explain how you feel, he/she will be able to help you.

    I have personal experience of losing my mother to suicide when she was 56. Even though it was 36 years ago, she is still missed. For a long time I felt very angry with her.

    Depression is a hard thing to shake off by yourself. You definitely need help. Your cats must be a great comfort to you as my little dog is to me. Depression runs in my family. My mother was in and out of hospital from when I was 2 years old. They were the bad old days before modern anti depressants came along.

    Nowadays with treatment, it is possible to have a relatively normal life. Yes, there are still down days, but nothing like the full blown black cloud type depression you get without medication.

    Please keep us all informed of your progress. We truly care.

    Love AS x

  • Hello, I'm so sorry you feel so bad! I know those feelings, but I can't do it to my friends and family. Please talk to me if it helps? You have your whole life ahead of you. I'm in my mid fiftys and have no family as such,as they don't bother with me. I lost my lovely dad in 2009 and I know how much losing your mum at such a young age must feel. Sending love and hugs to you. X

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