Hello. My depression has hit a all time low. I am 23 and struggling with my moods and I am getting increasingly lonely. I am a musician and I am currently studying music at uni. I have however accepted the fact that I am going to be poor and struggle well into the future. I am very poor and do not eat properly. I drink and smoke cannabis just to make the time go by and take my mind off things. Of course it doesn't. I don't really talk to my family. I always get upset cause I know I am letting them down as it is and I don't want to give them more things to worry about. I am not happy with my living situation and I am behind on rent. I am meant to be starting a new job on Friday which requires me to have black shoes which I don't have or cant afford. The job means I will be working Christmas eve and boxing day which means I will be in an empty house on Christmas day. I feel really lonely. I have friends around me but I don't tell them anything personal so I just hide under my bedroom duvet wishing I wasn't around to bother anyone.
I just don't see much of a future that I want to be part of.