Things still aren't good in my relationship :(

I am sick of it getting blamed on my depression. The emphasis on me being happy and smiling is getting too much. I hate for someone to be constantly watching me checking to see how my face is :( its my birthday today. 32 and more lost than i have ever been in my life. Was meant to be going out but i have cancelled as i'm not feeling very great. My fiance has already shouted at me in front of my friend. Hate the way he talks to me. He walked out and phoned me saying lets just go out and i said i dont want to. He then asked if hes better going out himself if i'm gonna be in a mood. I honestly am trying to take a step back and see if the problem is me but i cant. I told him to f*** off earlier and he said i'm going nowhere, u can call the police. I just want to tell him to go but i am scared that i'm not thinking straight and may regret it at a later date. He constantly moans at me. I went into asda earlier for a look about and he text asking when the wee boy was due his bottle. I said at 1 and he went god sake, i text asking that ages ago. Which asda are you in. Glasgow? Being a smarty pants. He then shouted at me later telling me to be a mum and that i should have told him what time he was due. I honestly feel that i cant win whatever i do. Sorry for the mumbo jumbo. Get a bit carried away x

5 Replies

  • This is a negative relationship. You need to face up to the fact you BOTH have problems; stop sparring off each other and look at yourselves.

    It is scary to be alone and faced with yourself as I am now. It is really scary but that is what you need to do (in my opinion); I have told you both before that neither of you will back down because you are both needy. I do try to care and only say what I feel. You both need something that the other can't give because neither of you trust each other that you deserve to be loved. I feel insignificant anyway myself like no-one will take any notice of me; I try to express an opinion and yet it seems at a distance and that it has no impact or value but I do actually care about people and feel like I have a point to make to you about this without me meaning to be nasty about it; I'm saying it to try to be helpful. Gemma

  • Les Happy Birthday to you. Now your relationship sounds awful, and you are not helping by telling him to xxxx xxx . That is very disrespectful, and how can you expect him

    To treat you properly if this is the way you speak to him.

    Now I know he's not perfect, are you going to counselling? You just seem to

    Have totally different parenting styles and ideas. Can you not sit down with

    A cool head and talk things through.

    Les I have rarely heard you say anything good about your relationship, it would

    Be very hard to be well in this type of relationship. It's no wonder that your

    depressed, because nothing seems to change between you and your partner.

    Your not listening to each other, your both talking but are either of you

    Really hearing the other person?


  • Hi,

    Firstly happy birthday. It was my birthday last Sunday as well,so happy Libran.

    I'm never normally this blunt but I see no positive or benefit in your relationship. He doesn't want to go to counselling and cancels your sessions so how is it ever going to get any better?

    Okay so you have a baby but you have only been together a couple of years. My advice is take a break. It isn't working and you don't seem able to work together to make it better.

    Sorry I don't mean to be harsh but I've never seen any positive comments from you about him or real understanding of each other's points of view.

    I don't think this is healthy or helping your depression,

    Sarah xx

  • I can only echo what the others have said so well. You're torturing yourself :( x

  • Hi les and a very happy birthday (wish I was 32 again - on 2nd thoughts maybe not :d ).

    I totally agree with the others. Unless you are both going to go to therapy together then nothing is going to change is it? I can't understand why:-

    1) You want to be with someone who slags you off in front of a friend

    2) Who sides with his mummy in having a go at you

    3) Treats you as though you are a bad mother

    4) Continually shouts at you and causes arguments

    5) Doesn't treat both the children the same

    6) Expects you to do the housework and sees it as your job

    and so on and so on.

    You might love him (but I don't know why) but clearly he doesn't love you. He is a selfish egotistic git and being alone would be far better than being with someone who puts you down all the time. If you are going to stay with him then you had better get used to being angry and depressed all the time..... x

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