please can anyone help

I have now stayed in my home for 8 years .. I dont go out or mix with people due to my depression. Ive not been to the doctors as I cant go out. I have no friends no life and im frightened. Every day is so hard to get thro . i think of ways to kill myself and then feel depressed that I cant even do that. My mind never stops thinking .I wish it would just for a little while.. Why is this life so hard ? why do we have to feel this way . why cant it all stop ?

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  • Hi,

    I think the fact that you have thought about killing yourself but haven't is encouraging. I think of it this way.. don't want to live but don't want to die either. You just want things to get better.

    I have been feeling very suicidal now for a long time, although I guess that's not quite true, I don't really feel anything any more.

    But I have been trying to re-focus my mind and have a hard look at the way I see life.

    I look at life and try and come to terms with the way the world is and try not to think about how I think it should be, if that makes sense?

    I can't really give you specific advice because I don't really know your story and circumstances BUT however hard things are, there are always good people who will help selflessly.

    Sometimes it helps to write your thoughts down. Pour your feelings onto paper, in private and then destroy the paper by burning it or tearing it up.

    The good people here will understand and hold their hands out, please talk to us and I hope things will get better for you.

  • Hi will it soon be over. I'm in the same boat it's extremely hard. Have you tried ringing a helpline if you cannot see the doctors. That's how I started I spoke to people who were professional. It's the most difficult thing ever the feeling i know what your feeling I'm there. In bee for hours the whole thing is a nightmare. I suggest just open a window and breath in fresh air And make that one phone call, speaking helps .

  • I have been in this place myself and I think you are doing the right thing but reaching out and asking for help. I agree that phoning or e-mailing a helpline may be useful for you. You can e-mail the Samaritans and they will reply within 24 hours; you can e-mail them for as long as you want and they will keep the thread for the first month at least so you don't have to repeat yourself each time you communicate with them. It may help you to write out how you think you started to get like this and to write a bit of your life story to them or to us.

    What do you think could help you? I understand that feeling of neither wanting to live nor die; it is just that life can be so painful at times; it is really just that you want to feel better and it IS possible to feel better .

    So do try and hang on and get some more help for yourself. Many of us have been in this position and reading the posts on here from the past may help you also .I sometimes just type a word in the "Search" box and see what posts have been written on that topic. It can be liberating to realise there are people who share your struggles and have come through or are starting to come through these things themselves X gemmalouise

  • I think you will have to go to the Doctor, you say you do t go out, who gets your shopping

    Etc.. You don't give much info about your age or circumstances, so it's

    Hard fir me to get a picture of you.

    You must try and help yourself, otherwise nothing will change. This Forum

    Will help you if you stick around. You have taken one good step, so see

    It as a beginning .

    Hannah

  • Is there anything you enjoy? A TV programme, a book? Try relaxing and take your mind off real life for a while, I know it's not going to help in the long run, but a good comedy should lift your spirits.

    When I am at the bottom of the bottom, I usually try to ignore things in my life and watch TV, read books, look up daft videos on YouTube and eventually I am able to start functioning again.

  • Hi,

    I can't add anything as you have had great advice already, just want you to know you aren't alone,

    Sarah

  • Hi, I feel the same way most of the time and I hardly ever go out a socialise. But as you're expressing these feelings on here maybe it is time for you to go see a doctor. I put off getting help for a long time until I felt ready to talk about things. As far as feeling suicidal...I don't know if i'll ever stop thinking about it. I still think about it nearly every day and wonder if i'll ever actually have the courage to go through with it

  • I think the fact that you joined this forum is a good step. I can relate to the not leaving the house. I had done this when I was 16. It wasn't until I started seeing a councellor were she made me go out and preform tasks in public (I have social anxiety)that I began to leave the house more frequently. Whilst I have dipped in doing this over the last two weeks, although mainly due to severe abdominal pain, I can still go out if accompanied by someone. Can you try talking to the Samaritans? Can you ask the doctor to come see you? Do you have any family that you can trust to take you out, even if for a walk around the block? I am sorry if this isn't helpful. I wish you all the best.

  • You must see a doctor. I am sure if you tell them you have been unable to leave the house for 8 years and are suicidal you will get a home visit. Tell them you think you are agoraphobic as they might have more sympathy for you. My sister, who has severe anxiety and agoraphobia has had doctors visiting her at home. Once you get some help you should see an improvement. It sounds like you need anti-depressants, and whilst you may not like pills, taking some would probably result in an improved mood and put you in a better position to start sorting your life out. Depression is a serious illness - please don't ignore it - seek help. Let us know how you get on. xx

  • You say you've thought about suicide, is that the "suicide has to be better than this. Nothings going right, I'd be better off just not being" types of thought or have you thought of how you would do it, where, how you would be found, who would find you etc.

    If it's the first then get down your GP and tell them you feel you need to be evaluated by the mental health.

    If it's the 2nd then tell this to your GP and they will get the ball rolling on your behalf and it gets rolling quickly so be prepared because a of things stop being in your control.

    If you can stick it out and speak with your GP asking for help then just attack it like I'm trying - 10 minutes at a time.

    Lifes ever easy, if it was everyone would do well at it.

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