Please help

Usually everyday when i come back from school,i run up to my room and start crying.I know i have clinical depression,so suicidal thoughts play a big role in my life.Everyone deserves to have that one person in their life that they can tell ANYTHING to and most people dont.I know i certainly haven got one, which is why i am writing this post.To make people feel as if they are not alone in this.That everyone has bad times.1 in 4 people suffer from mental illness.I am that 1 person.Anyways, i cant seem to concentrate and when i do have a breakdown i just go crazy and do stupid stufferg i threw my phone across the room yesterday.I hope somebody can help and more importantly,i hope that i have helped.I just have one question.How many times a day do you have to fake smile so people dont judge you and call you weak for crying.I know i cant live like this so i might as well share my issues

[WeightWarrior]

Oh bless you, how long has this been happening to you? Have you been to see your doctor about things? I assume you have, as you mention you know you have clinical depression. If you haven't, you should definitely see your doctor. If things are that severe, I would think you should be able to get counselling, and because it's confidential, it could provide you with that person you can tell anything to and they won't judge you, just try to help you unravel what is going on and how to deal with it. Sorry if you have already been down this route, you don't say, so just trying to make a helpful suggestion. Wishing you all the very best xxx

[Hidden in reply to WeightWarrior]

Thank you for your suggestion,as you said I may have already been down this route and I have.I never want to go down that routee again, which is why when it has come back I can't tell anyone.I know I am underage to use this site as I am 11.Hope this helps

[WeightWarrior in reply to Hidden]

I don't know how your experience was with your GP etc, but if it was positive and helped you to feel better then it is really worth considering going back. If not, then I can understand why you wouldn't want to. Some of us have to go and see the GP when things get too much...some of us recover and don't need to go back, and some of us seem to just be kind of stuck with our lot. I will say this much: I tried to overdose when I was about 17. I never talked to anyone, I kept everything in, until one night I decided I'd had enough. Anyway, I took lots of tablets, then I went to bed as normal and hoped never to wake up. As you can tell, I was unsuccessful, as I'm still here! I was violently sick all of the next day and my parents never knew what had happened, they just thought I had a stomach bug. It was a horrible experience but thankfully it appears I was lucky enough not to have damaged my body through doing it, and LUCKY really is the word...you can severely damage your organs etc, imagine having to live with it...My point in telling you this? I am now glad I didn't succeed. In spite of feeling completely ugly, I went on to meet someone, got married, we now own our house and have an energetic 12 year old son. We all have our ups and downs, as life isn't perfect for anyone, but we get through it together, and I have some very open conversations with my son about all sorts of things - I'd like to think he could talk to me about pretty much anything, I certainly try to make it that way. I'd be so upset if he was secretly feeling the way you are...are you sure you aren't able to speak to your parents, guardians, even an approachable aunt/cousin/teacher about things? I always want to bottle things up, but somehow when you start to talk about things it seems to help let the emotions out and can feel like a weight is being lifted from you. Have a think about whether there is anyone you can approach who you really feel you can trust but be a little wary of people your own age unless you are really sure you know them very well as a friend, because some kids mature later than others, and just may not be mature enough to have that conversation with you. Probably better to speak to someone older to be honest, but above all, I hope you do find someone you can talk to rather than allowing things to build up to a point of explosion like I did when I was younger. There is always hope for the future even if it doesn't seem like it at the time, you just have to give the future a chance, who knows what it may hold for you... xx

[Hidden in reply to WeightWarrior]

You have changed my whole perspective on life.Thank you soooo much.I can tell you one thing and that's your son is at least hiding one thing from you.I am only a year younger than him so I know how you feel when you have to tell your parents. Your feelings even I don't like doing it but I have to😞You feel you don't have enough freedom and that your parents can overpower you.If there is one thing life taught me it's to enjoy what you have as ot doesn't last long.I only had 8 years of life that I was able to fully enjoy.I now pool back at myself and think why did I always want to watch television and not go out with my friends?Just try explaining to your son that nothing sounds stupid and that he has a right to be cared for.If this helps one person it will be worth living yo help another's life.

[WeightWarrior in reply to Hidden]

I'm glad it helped...I felt I had to tell you my experiences, because you really never do know what might happen in life. I remember things which my parents still don't know to this day, so I understand what you mean! I don't expect my son to tell me every single thing, as he is entitled to have his privacy as he grows up, just, I think, well I hope, he knows I am here for him if he needs me.

On a completely different note, swaying off topic a bit here, and you seem sensible enough to know this already and there is a lot of education in school about it these days, but all the same...from a security point of view, I'd say to you, be wary of who you talk to online and where you speak too. I've kept my replies here in the open for all to survey. Just be mindful that there are some weirdos out there trawling the net looking for vulnerable people, so be careful who you trust. Some folk will lie and show empathy to trick you into trusting them...don't! Adults and children alike can be fooled by these people. I'm not saying everyone is like that, but just have it in the back of your mind at all times when talking to people online. I personally prefer open "walls" which other people can see if I converse with anyone. People who are less trustworthy will often try to take things into a private message...be very wary of that too.

Ok, enough "preaching" (lol), I hope you are having a good day today, take care of yourself and have hope...as I say, you never know what life might bring you!

[Hidden]

Hello Welcome to our site of happy depressives Lol

How old are you. Aasha

BOB

[Hidden]

Hi it's hard to advise you more without knowing your age. x

[Photogeek in reply to Hidden]

This child is eleven and I have reported it.

[Hidden in reply to Photogeek]

Good Hannah. I see AOD has had a word with them and they have cancelled their account. They will have had a word and referred them to a much more age appropriate site. . x

[WeightWarrior in reply to Photogeek]

I'm new to this particular forum and still getting used to how it all works, so please forgive me if I have not followed correct protocol. Having a 12 year old son, I know what I would have wanted a stranger to do...my main immediate concern upon seeing this post was to immediately reach out to her, try to persuade her that suicide was not a good idea, you'll see I was the first one to respond. She may or may not have been serious, but I know I WAS serious in my thoughts when I was younger and didn't feel I could talk to anyone about how I was feeling, eventually resulting in a suicide attempt, so I didn't feel I could dismiss what she was saying. I hope she was truthful when she said I changed her perspective. I wanted to share my experience to give her hope...I'm glad someone knew what protocol to follow. Can you tell me please, so that I know for future reference, does one just immediately report a child without responding to them? I ask this because I wonder about the potential consequences of ignoring a potential suicide case whatever the age. Are admin policing the site day and night from various time zones, so that they can deal with an emergency situation, or is it just during UK time, etc? Or can you point to the right place to find the information on correct protocol please? Many thanks. xx

[WeightWarrior in reply to WeightWarrior]

I have to sign off now but I'll check back tomorrow for info, thanks again, hope all is going well with you xx

[maskedjinn]

If you cry it doesn't mean your weak , you've just been strong for too long.