All of my life I have battled with my weight, coming from a family who had the same struggles.
I hit my highest weight when I was aroun 20 after being in college and university with too much time on my hands, just having got my first car and it being a novelty to be able to go to the shops for snacks whenever I wanted to!
I finally faced the scales and I was around 7 stone above normal BMI. Something must have clicked into place as I lost 6 stone in a year. Gradually I lost another stone and an half and managed to stabilise at a normal weight give or take a few pounds for a number of years. I still felt fat at this point although photos show that I wasn’t!
Over the past 10 years I’ve slipped into bad habits and gained about 4.5 stone back which I’m so disappointed at myself for.
But I have also been through some of the worst times in my life, losing my lovely mum suddenly being the hardest. I’ve recently discovered I’m post menopause at 44 as well, it wasn’t a surprise as I’d been having various symptoms for the past few years.
So here I am now, middle aged and with what feels like a mountain to climb. Motivation is zero and I’ve been depressed and anxious for a long time. I guess I could do with someone to help me along the way!
I do some walking but I aim to start doing weight training as I know that’s particularly important post menopause.
I am trying to calorie count and just to take one day at a time or it feels extremely impossible and overwhelming.
If anyone can relate to any of this or has any advice it would be much appreciated.
Thanks for reading!
Written by
LostMyWay
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You will get plenty of support here for your weight loss journey. I daresay one of the admin team will be along shortly with more information about this site.
If you are concerned about bone health then I wholeheartedly recommend the Royal Osteoporosis Society. They have an excellent website, factsheets that you can download and print and a first class specialist nurses helpline.
I was speaking with one of their nurses only yesterday regarding exercise for myself because I do have severe osteoporosis and she put my mind at rest on so many counts. You do not need to already have osteoporosis to contact them, they give advice about how to reduce the risk. You do not have to be a member either although I was so impressed with them that I joined about 10 days ago.
As you have had an early menopause it would be well worth your while at least taking a look at their website. You might also like to ask your doctor if you can have a DEXA scan if this has not already been offered. It will pick up any loss of bone density if there is any loss at all but would help to put your mind at rest.
Good luck with your weight loss journey and I will no doubt see you around the forums as and when you feel ready. Best wishes.
thank you so much, I am speaking to my doctor next week so I will ask about the scan. My Nan suffered with osteoporosis and I know it’s a higher risk with early menopause.
Apparently, there's also a higher risk if other family members have, or have had, it. It's good that you are seeing the doctor next week and I wish you all the very best of luck.
When it comes to weight gain, many of us here have been through very much the same as you LostMyWay, putting weight on steadily over the years and then finding ourselves feeling overwhelmed and with it the anxiety and depression that goes with it.
You really are amongst friends here though. You know you can lose weight, you've done an amazing job of of it before, but there is really no need to have to lose it so quickly this time. Every lb is a step to a healthier you.
Instead of seeing a mountain in front of you, set yourself some short term goals. It's what moutain climbers do after all!😂
As luck would have it one of our members has started a Spring into Summer challenge, which is 13 weeks, and a goal to lose 7lb, and of course if you manage more than that, amazing, but there is no pressure to drop weight super quickly. the link is here: healthunlocked.com/weight-l...
Going hand in hand with that is the Weekly Weigh-in, speaks for itself, and the Daily Diary, where members pop in to say what their plans are for the day, and support others on the way.
There are lots of approaches to take and you can link in with others who are taking those approaches, real people with no diet plan or book to sell!
I completely understand and feel very much the same, I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been… however I know a lot of my weight is down to drinking wine. I go for a long walk on a weekend when off work, but other than that don’t exercise. My diet is all over the place I eat whenever I fancy it, the alcohol is too much ( I did dry January until nearly end of feb but it’s slowly started creeping in )
I lost my dad in 2020, he was the most special person in my life other than my son and I feel like I’ve changed for the worst, anxious, worrying all the time, drinking, got no motivation.
I too want to lose my weight, get my life back on track, it’s an excuse but I feel like I have no time for myself to go to a gym as when I’m not working I have to look after my son so I don’t know how to go about it and make a start.
I hope you achieve your weight loss and get well, I know I haven’t helped but just wanted to say I know how you feel 😊
It helps to know I’m not alone in my struggles, thanks. I’m sorry about your dad, I know how life changing it is and it’s not something you ever really get over. Please feel free to message me if you think we could support each other.
Hello and welcome to our friendly and supportive forum. I hope you have read Grigids reply to LostMyWay above as a lot of it is true for you too. Have a look at the links there too. You will find them helpful. It is very hard when we lose someone special in our lives but it sounds as if you are now ready to make some changes.
We have a drinkless club which is helpful for reducing alcohol healthunlocked.com/weight-l.... Do pop in and introduce yourself. There are others who will understand your situation and support
There is also the FitisFun CLub for exercise healthunlocked.com/weight-l.... Do not feel you need to join a gym. Its not for everyone and you already enjoying walking. Maybe try and fit in a short walk each day. A tracker might help and you can post your execise each week .
You could start by popping over to the Weigh In (the link is in Grigids post above) and post your start weight and and introduce yourself there. The first step is always the hardest. I hope to see you there.
I would suggest that once you are able to make a start on your weight loss journey you will begin to feel less overwhelmed, and that in itself will help you feel more positive and motivated. Taking it one day/week at a time must be the best way forward, because where you are now feels (in your own words) like a ‘mountain to climb’ and I can’t imagine that you feel positive about the effort that you feel lies ahead for you.
You will get great support from here as already mentioned - so do try and use it where you can.
I have recently managed to get to my goal weight with an on-line specialist counselling service where I made good progress being guided through my eating habits each week. The accountability to another person and being able to talk to a real person (trained in the field) was so helpful and felt, almost from week one, like I wasn’t tackling this alone and that many of my eating habits (binging, emotional eating) were not unique to me. This kind of service might be helpful to you.
I wish you the best of luck, you will get there I am sure, but perhaps breaking your journey into smaller, more manageable chunks of time will help you feel less overwhelmed and anxious about the future.
I used a service called Bell Consulting Services and it worked for me. I don’t know if other similar services are out there I didn’t do any investigation myself as Bell was recommended to me, but there may be others that operate on a similar level.
I have only just reached my goal so am riding high on it a bit at the moment and it feels great - you WILL get there I am sure.
Hiya. What is working for me is having an awareness of my thoughts and feelings, a real awareness. With lots and lots of practice, I am now able to make sure that I never follow any negative thoughts and feelings. I acknowledge them ( trying to ignore them doesn't work!) and then I let them pass, as they always will. It takes time and lots of practice, but it really works. So, those food thoughts ( I want a massive bar of chocolate now) can be dealt with in the same way. I never ever give myself a hard time...never ever saying negative things to myself. We are our biggest critic, if we believe our thoughts. Trust me, don't ' believe' what you think. Mentally, I feel better than I have ever felt and I am 17lbs away from my goal weight and losing weight has felt enjoyable. All the very best to you
good morning you are in the right place, you are now finding your way!
Yes I can relate: I was a size 10 at 18, the boys at school said I was so skinny no one would ever marry me. I put a stone on when I went on the pill, (to stop me fainting every month), a stone on when my mum died when I was 20 and another in my first year of marriage to a man who handled his anger with his fists.
I misery ate for years. I joined WW, RC & SW. my weight issue was all in my emotions and the fat clubs “all over you like a rash when you join and dump you when you struggle” approach never worked for me. And goodness knows how much I’ve spent!
It’s taken me 40 years to lose this much weight, to consistently lose or stay the same and not give in to the emotional issues which made me put it on!
This group is free, it’s encouraging and it’s for me (you). Do it for you. I love buying new underwear and a great joy is when my clothes are too loose 😊.
Getting it off takes time, it didn’t go on like butter on a sandwich and to stay off it will take time.
So Welcome. Come and join our lovely weight loss group and perhaps a challenge (I can’t do them but loads benefit greatly) or one of the chat groups. Enjoy and we look forward to you seeing less of you!
Yes I’ve tried the weight loss clubs as well. So cliquey, I even got told off for sitting in someone’s seat. 😂 Then the clapping like seals wasn’t for me either. We all have to find our own path I guess! Well done with your weight loss. 😊
Its definitely not cliquey here and you won't get told off. We ate here to help and support. Do join in as much as possible. Active participation is the best way to get know us and get support.
Have you posted your start weight on the weigh in? Do pop in and say hello. Hope to see you there.
well you won’t be in someone else’s seat here! Thank you and I look forward to congratulating you too. There’s heaps of food advice out there, it’s digging out just WHY one eats it!
Calorie counting won't work long term because you're basically starving ourself which is impossible to do for more than a few weeks if that. What you need do do is change what you're eating, cut our the carbs which will lower blood sugar and that will correct your hormones to reduce hunger pangs so you'll not feel the need to snack constantly, it will also make you feel satisfied sooner so you won't over eat nateurally.
Also lowering blood sugar means that there won't be so much excess energy to be stored as fat in your body.
I’m on 1900 calories so definitely not starving! 😊 I’m also working to decent protein and fibre targets. Thanks for your reply though, all opinions are welcome.
Yes, I have had 2 tests to confirm. My mum was 45 when she went through it so it’s not unexpected for me at 44 especially with a whole host of symptoms for several years.
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Why so difficult?
Need to get back on track 😪
almost back to post baby weight
How have I gained so much! Help! 
Not doing so great
