2020 already.... a clear ,visionary time?

[FatFairNFifty-ish]

It didn’t dawn on me that it’s not just a new year, but, 2020, a new freaking decade!

I hate looking back - it’s usually painful & now it’s a reminder that a decade ago was my one & only ‘skinny Minnie’ phase where I actually achieved a monumental weight loss and was a petite size 10.

I am over twice that woman now ! Literally.. 🙄

With a set of hospital scales looming ever closer ( just 2 weeks time).. I find myself praying for a belated Christmas-miracle & huge weight loss.

It ain’t gonna happen... but 2 weeks is a good amount of time to make at least a spoon-sized dent in my blubber mountain ... so it begins ~ tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah, I know “why wait ‘til tomorrow” ... and I’ll be honest ... it’s because I already ploughed through a ton of junk food which calls to me like a siren through the house!

It’s being evicted though ... it’s either being rehoused in my chaps car / lorry ... or it’s going in the bin ( no, there are no food banks locally so I can’t give it to a worthy cause).

I know myself well enough to know that I’ve got the breaking strain of a kitkat (probably a peanut butter one 🙄)... so, removal of temptation is the only way this is gonna work!

No, it’s not a “new year new me’ resolution ~ they don’t cut the mustard with me.

It’s more of a ‘holy crap I’m backed (well, squeezed) into a corner where I can either fling my arms in the air and admit defeat & just eat myself into an over-sized coffin ... OR ... I can come out fighting, kicking & screaming .. which entails having some kind of plan to shift my arse into gear and get healthier, lighter, fitter & sort out the spaghetti of wiring in my brain so that I might actually FEEL better about myself, life, the future & the universe!

Seems a pretty big gear shift - and - unlike my current motor - life’s not an automatic!

Enough of this ...

My brain associates songs & music to just about all of life’s situations... today it’s “Who wants to live forever’ in the haunting melodic style of the irreplaceable Freddy Mercury.

Well, I don’t, but I’d like to see if I can live as long as possible in as good a health as possible- tricky for the crip I am.

Tricky, but not impossible!

Yes... 2020 vision is what it’s going to take to see the reality & repercussions of actions & inaction.

Happy New Day/Year/Decade... May it turn out how you hope!

[Hidden]

To continue the song theme -

“You can get it if you really want it (x3),

But you must try, try and try, try and try...”

By Jimmy Cliff - remember it?

Very apt really, because it will take an awful lot of trying. But you CAN do it, FFNF, and well done for making a start by sorting out all the junk! And although you might think today is down the pan, it doesn’t mean you have to stuff yourself for the rest of the day, even if you do eat more sweets and biscuits etc.

I do wish you all the best and everyone here in this forum is on your side, come what may. 🤗

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone in reply to Hidden]

"You'll succeed at last".

Good old Jimmy Cliff 🎶🎶

[Hidden in reply to BridgeGirl]

Yes, I missed out the best line, didn’t I? 😂

[Lytham 3 stone]

Coming out fighting, kicking and screaming sounds like a plan to me ! This might help? x

healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

[Pineapple27]

Great post!

It may seem looking ahead that you have a long and difficult journey ahead. It will be. There is no quick fix to weight loss. But a journey only starts when you take that first step and then just keep on going.

You may also need to work on emotions around eating - try keeping a diary along side your food log so that you can identify anything which triggers a binge or a downwards spiral - and the emotional side of things may be something you need to work on or get further help with if it appears out of your control.

I don't deny myself anything in terms of food - however, I have changed over the course of my weight loss to eat much more mindfully - considering "Do I really want to eat this?" ahead of eating food that is particularly calorific or not very healthy. Even leaving food that I'm not enjoying - never heard of in my "previous life"!

If I want to east a slice cake - I've worked out the calories beforehand and if I chose to have a slice then it DEFINITELY has to be worth it! If making cake, I slice and freeze any remaining cake in packs of two so that myself and my husband can enjoy it on other days rather than knowing it's there and needing to be consumed to stop it going off.

Today I made a batch of cheese scones - worked out at just over 100 calories each. I had one (spread with some butter) when then came out of the oven and once cooled, immediately froze the rest - out of sight and if I want another, I'll need to wait for it to defrost. But this way I'll be enjoying those scones for weeks (even months...) to come.

I have reduced the number of times I eat out as it's impossible for me to stay within my low (1100 calorie) limit by eating out regularly - even if I choose wisely. But to be honest, I am very happy cooking my own meals and eating those, as I know precisely what's in them - and I love, love LOVE my vegetables. I hardly ever get a takeaway (perhaps 1/2 times a year - usually at others instigation when I am visiting friends). I used to resent these things, but I now accept and embrace them. I no longer view this as a tortuous journey but more a new way of life.

I view my way of eating as keeping myself as healthy as I can in order to minimise the risk of developing middle aged illnesses (diabetes, stroke, heart attack...)

I don't judge my success by what others achieve - I just try to do the best that I can for myself and in a way that works well for me.

It does help that I have an extremely supportive husband who's always been happy to eat the same as I do (meals and quantities) - even though he doesn't need to lose weight. He has lots of little "extras" to make up.

I have just kept on going.... as it's what works for me.

I hope this helps.

[S11m]

Not long ago it was the start of a new millennium!

[Kickupbum 4 stone]

You are so brave and you express your frustrations so well. Yes, I think that I have all the same battles but you will crack this, because you want to enough!! I am trying to see myself as Joan of Arc in my kitchen: I don't understand how I can be (reasonably) respected in my professional life but beaten by a ....maple sandwich biscuit: is it really bigger than me?

Go for it, FFnFish!

Good luck with your appointment at the hospital

[FatFairNFifty-ish in reply to Kickupbum]

Trust me... I’m not brave , but, I am a bit of a fighter.

I don’t know anyone in my circle of friends (or family) who could resist any combination consisting of ‘sandwich’, ‘maple’ & ‘biscuit’!

If only....

Joan of Arc was amazing , but she did end up as toast so perhaps not a figure to replicate 😀😉 but I know what you mean!

Bonne Chance mon ami!

[Kickupbum 4 stone in reply to FatFairNFifty-ish]

Joan of Arc disappeared with crisps and sweets this pm. Humph, back to the drawing board.

Life is strange isn't it? What defeats us and what we can deal with? I'm really working on keeping my eating within an 8 hour window each day so that mindless grazing cannot happen. So, is bad eating does happen, it can still be stopped by that cut off time. I'm finding that helpful at the moment. Do you have any tricks to share?

[FatFairNFifty-ish in reply to Kickupbum]

Ahhh the dreaded crisps & sweets eh... they’re sneaking little feckers... disguise themselves as being nice and yummy and then leave an all too familiar bad taste ( metaphorically speaking )...

Poor Joan - it’s not her ‘time to shine’ at the moment.

An 8 hour eating window!?! 😱

If I did that I’d just trough for the whole 8 hours 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

Still ... it’s a good plan (as long as Joan is in charge of course)... in fairness, I find that removal of temptation is the most effective thing to make me stop grazing/snacking/checking the fridge every 5 seconds.

Hmm, tricks... well I can juggle books but that’s about it ... oh... and I can make s snickers bar vanish completely in less than a minute... any good? No?

Well... when I am wearing my ‘look at my dieting halo all shiny’ t-shirt I have oodles of tips and hints and ‘this works for me’ stuff to share..

In the absence of said t-shirt ., I think the biggest ‘trick’ is to drink loads and loads and LOADS of water and... if you feel hungry... try eating a sliced up apple - slowly... that can often send those sirenesque bags of Pomme Bears ( for the GG ~ gorgeous grandson) back into the deep recesses of my brain...

Here’s hoping that Joany girl gets her act together tomorrow for you ! 🙏🏻😁

[Kickupbum 4 stone in reply to FatFairNFifty-ish]

Joan is rather tarnished admittedly. Love your post: laughed a lot and still smiling a while later. I think smiling and laughing is really good for stamina in this game.

I forgot that I signed up to no Junk January: do you think that is 6 days out of 7? I might manage that. What about 'less' Junk January?

[FatFairNFifty-ish in reply to Kickupbum]

Good morning Joan ., it’s no good ~ that’s what my brain (and somewhat warped sense of humour) dictate that I call you 🤣

I too signed up for Junk Free January - which is, I believe, an absolute brilliant idea!

However... I find myself geographically challenged and can’t find that ‘thread’ at the moment...

I’ve failed it so far - my little grey (fat) cells appear to see it as a reverse kind of goal and I’ve eaten junk food every blessed day since it started!!

Maybe if I mentally rename it ‘Junk Food January’ then my neural transmitters will hoodwink me and I’ll ‘step away from the fridge’ ( imagine someone self righteous holding a megaphone and saying this each time there is even the tiniest sliver of light emitted from my all time favourite household appliance !).

As for whether or not YOU, dear Joan, can succeed with 6 out of 7 , that remains to be seen.

I know, I know, I OUGHT to be full of ‘you got this ‘ and joie de vive... ( again- apologies for the schoolgirl French)... and other such words of encouragement & wisdom, but the truth is - 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don’t know..:

Let’s just go with ‘ I hope so’ for now & see how it goes... 😊

[Kickupbum 4 stone in reply to FatFairNFifty-ish]

I quite like being called Joan actually, though feel a bit tarnished.

Reverse psychology can really work well: I find it works well on my kids, it works great with my mother but somehow the fridge doesn't understand it very well, let alone the treat cupboard!

It was really tough being 'no junk' yesterday as I'm trying to stick to this window of eating but I had to only start at 2pm as we had a lovely meal out last night! So I was ravenous........you can guess the rest, but the meal was fab and I stayed off dessert, so I felt quite virtuous in the end.

Keep going FFnFish, no school girl French, just GET ON WITH IT and let's lose!! What is your weigh in day? Mine's Wednesday because I wobble soooo much, but rarely fall down

[FatFairNFifty-ish in reply to Kickupbum]

Loving the wobbling weeble reference!

Pish - what do drudged & cupboards know about any kind of psychology? They are destined to be the work of the devil & contain sinful goodies and temptation.. 🤣😂

How’s the Junk Free January going ? I’m starting mine today! ( well, last night actually, but today will be proper!)

I re-joined fat club - aka Slimming World- last night in a bid to ‘GET ON WITH IT” 😂🤣 and also to get weighed without getting scales at home .... long story short .. if I have scales at home I end up almost permanently attached to them !

No, you don’t get the credit for my actually getting on with it , I had already informed colleagues at work that - as of immediate effect - cakes/cookies/chocolates are a no go area for me & was rejoining fat club.

They all made supportive noises although I thought I heard someone mutter “yeah right” under their breath . 🙂

My weekly weigh in day will, therefore , be on a Tuesday night!

Hope your weigh in gives you the outcome you want today!

(I’ll never have that as the outcome I want is to be 8 stone lighter overnight- without any loss of life nor limb!)

[Kickupbum 4 stone in reply to FatFairNFifty-ish]

Hi there, sorry about delay, been completely overloaded with so much and then junk got involved: yeuch: if I am to avoid junk there has to be early nights involved.

I remember that when I had a good diet stage about 15 years ago, I used to lock myself in my bedroom from 9pm each night to avoid the cupboards!! That is not working right now as teenagers now live in my home! I do love those teenagers but they bring their own hazards with them, like loads of sugary carbs which are needed for underweight and treacherously irritable teens, as well as late nights talking with them through their stages and worrying about them when I'm not talking with them!

I'm impressed about the 8st aim overnight!! Bit ambitious, though as I am only demanding 4 st!! Lol. Wish it could be that easy. Every moment of every day is the hard bit. And every bit of concentration lost seems to show.

No, I didn't weigh in this week as it turned out to be a berserk day. I partly chose Wed as it was a more relaxed day compared to some in my week, but this week was mad. Hope next week is better!

My no junk January may mean cutting out junk one day a week rather than my hopeful 6 out of 7!! How's yours going?

[Craftyperson]

That's a very candid post and positivity goes a long way and you've certainly got that by sound of it.

Take it nice and slowly setting small acheivable goals and your not on a diet but starting a healthy eating plan for life. Good luck and is it an operation in 2 weeks that the scales are looming for? If so hope it goes well.

[FatFairNFifty-ish in reply to Craftyperson]

Thank you - thankfully not surgery in a fortnight ... but an appointment regarding bariatric surgery .

If I could I would literally kick myself for not losing weight since my initial appointment- but I’ve almost been on a mission of several months of ‘last suppers’!

[Craftyperson in reply to FatFairNFifty-ish]

Oh dear those last bits can add up!!! Hope all goes well for you

[FatFairNFifty-ish in reply to Craftyperson]

They all add up to ever increasing numbers on the scales .... but as I don’t possess a set of people-weighing scales I’ve no idea what I weigh ... I just FEEL bigger and appear to have lost a neck and gained a chin (or two)..

[Craftyperson in reply to FatFairNFifty-ish]

Well if you want to know your weight and your brave enough your local pharmacy will usually weigh you.

[FatFairNFifty-ish in reply to Craftyperson]

Ta - I tried that ... but they don’t have that service outside of my work hours (I do early starts/late finishes)... and to be honest... if I got scales at home I’d be on and off ‘em all day every day (which is why I choose not to have any),,, I reckon that if I know I’m sticking to a healthy eating / weight loss regime, then it’s not about numbers ...

[Craftyperson in reply to FatFairNFifty-ish]

Yes and your clothes let you know what going on as does the tape measure cos if not loosing pounds can loose inches

[Hidden in reply to FatFairNFifty-ish]

You might need to get your own scales... I have historically feared the scales, found all sorts of random reasons not to weigh myself - because they never showed the weight loss I deluded myself I was achieving. But this is my year for facing up. No more self delusion. I am going to weigh myself every week & report into the Wednesday Wobble Warriors. Last summer my husband bought new scales that would connect to an app on my phone, so I could see a little graph of my weight coming off. (He’s all about a technical solution!) Only just had the guts to start using the new scales. How ridiculous! But, thanks to low carb and the advice of wise people here, there is a little downward graph over the last week ❤️. Oh but it’s easy to be all full of resolution in the first week of January 🤣.

What I would say about your situation, and the appointments and doctors etc, you won’t be the first and you won’t be the last person they will see who haven’t lost weight between appointments. They’ll have seen it all before. The only way to lose huge (as in stones) of weight in a short period is to a) give birth, b) have an amputation. There is no shortcut. But if you want to give it another try using the advice and support of people here, it’s hard to imagine the drs would not give you more time.

[FatFairNFifty-ish in reply to Hidden]

What a cracking reply - thank you you are a very kind person.

I am in awe of your mastery of the scales!

I know if I get some I shall become a daily jumper on er ..and it won’t be psychologically beneficial to me.

I tend to run with ‘if I’m sticking to a plan then whenever I get on scales next, I shall expect a loss.

It’s just how I am .. I think it stems from being forced to diet from the age of 8 and the whole fat club mentality back in those days of singing out ‘what the scales say’ and ‘ have the scales been kind this week’ etc etc ...

So much emphasis on the numbers instead of the person .,, unhappy memories & negative associations.

[Hidden]

Thank you sweetheart. I got on the scales this morning & I weighed 0.3 of a pound more taking me up a pound number. Initially appalled then told myself to get a grip. To trust the low carb process. Suppose I just lose 0.7lb of a pound a week (the average on this forum) that’s 2 and a half stone by next Christmas. That would be FINE. So I need to weigh myself ONCE a week not every 10 minutes. (And remember that I will put on five pounds when I have my period.) I can see that your background of slimming clubs especially as a child was hideous & left you with a phobia of scales, but measuring yourself another way - tape measure or clothes won’t show small but steady progress. The weekly weigh in groups here are great. Anyway, better stop now or the admins will think I work for x scales manufacturer... 🥰

[FatFairNFifty-ish in reply to Hidden]

Your reply reaffirms my absolute loathing of scales... why put yourself through the emotional car crash of worrying over 0.3 of a pound?

You say yourself that you need to weigh yourself once a week instead of every 10minutes..

Do you think you’ll be able to resist for a week?

I do hope so - I used to have scales and would weigh myself often throughout a day/week... I became obsessed with every ounce that came off or went on...

For me ., scales=emotional rollercoaster = emotional eating= weight gain = emotional rollercoaster = weight gain ... etc etc etc

Scales are a useful tool if used sensibly ... I think I’m just not sensible 🤣

[Hidden in reply to FatFairNFifty-ish]

Ha. I need to be more sensible too & should have waited until Wednesday to weigh myself. For me - and this may not apply to you - not weighing myself for months on end allows me to think I am shrinking when I am not. You’ll find the right thing for you if you want to enough. Xx