Sorry to post again I am sat crying and have no idea what to do.
For 9 months I have had fatigue, I do have an anxiety disorder but it's never made me tired. I called my GP and he thought I had a thyroid issue and said he would run tests, came back with all fine. I got a copy and saw my TSH was 5.35 (0.35-5.35). T4 was 11 (7-17) I was told I was fine. By October I felt worse but this coincided with my son having extreme panic attacks due to bullying and me being told to take on the burden of it all. CAMHS refused to help so I had to give myself therapy. My son told me he was suicidal with it all, my kids have been ill one after the other and I have been left juggling it all, it's been hell on earth. So with this my fatigue got mych much worse and in November I was floored by dizziness. THe type where the ground moves or bounces as you walk. Not so much in the head. I had my GP out twice, ran bloods and did balance tests etc. He said it was stress and anxiety.
My anxiety has rocketed because of how i feel every day. I am living in a self made prison. I take the kids to school then come home and cry. I wake in the morning and during that first hour I don't feel too tired. I get my kids to school then come home and am floored by fatigue. It manifests in very heavy stinging eyes and brain fog. I spend my day resting with some gentle yoga some days. Pick my kids up then come home to rest again. Every day I have the ground moving when I walk, like walking on a trampoline, only twice has it been in my head where my head feels like it's dizzy, not room spinning but very woozy and heavy. My GP told me my BP was fine, its about 110/70. Pulse normal. He did balance tests and I can stand feet together no swaying really, walking in straight line, run on spot.. muscle tests all good, reflexes fine. He said no indication it's ear related or brain. I have been terrified i have a brain tumour
I got my bloods from December and all were ok other than cholesterol high, and diabetes hba1c test was 40 (range 20-41) when i asked why as I have no diabetes in the family he gave me no answers. I have a good diet so none of this makes sense. My thyroid results were TSH 2.93 and T4 10.2 both taken at 1pm after 2 meals as he came out to my house to do it.
I went private 2 weeks ago with blue horizon and my TSH was 6.54 (0.2-4.20) and FT4 14 (12-22). I sent results to a different GP, not the nice one that came out to see me, stupidly sent to the one that in the summer thought I had a thyroid issue thinking he might help. Well no as I said last week in my post, he was a horrible man, and spoke to me like dirt and told me 'wel don't know what to do with people like you Julie'. Telling me I had no reason to be chronically fatigued and no idea what to put it down to as my B12 is 501, Ferritin is going up, currently its 31. HB is excellent at 15.
I woke up today feeling like i hadn't even been to sleep. I slept 11-7 and sleot through 2 alarms, not like me and all day I have felt like my eyes have bricks on them, heavy foggy head, weak legs and like the ground moves with every step. My balance feels awful. I did the balance test and I don't sway so I don't believe it's my ears. The GP on the phone last week laughed at me for being worried about my dizziness and said 'I will refer you to ENT if it calms you down'. I felt so stupid. My anxiety is now so high, I can't have visitors, can't do appointments, can't answer my door to the postman.... and it is all because of how weak and fatigued I feel, for some bizarre reason it all brought back my anxiety disorder and I feel terrible. Other people can be fatigued and dizzy and not panic like this, so why am I? I am too scared to call the nice GP again incase he wants to come out to my house. I sound mad don't I
I have felt this bad for 11 weeks and I am so worried what is wrong with me. Could this horrific fatigue and dizziness really be due to my TSH being 6.54? THe GP last week said my antibodies are fine on the blue horizon test, t4 fine so no I don't have hypothyroidism and they won't be keeping an eye on it. I could cry. I am so so scared. I have no support, no mother who cares enough to support me. My husband works long hours. I worked so hard to get where I was, I had horrific anxiety for 2 years after a tough time in my life, I was out living again, doing appointments... then this fatigue hit and I haven't been the same since, the dizziness has just pushed me further over the edge and I am now housebound pretty much. I feel a failure and probably depressed WHich the stupid GP said last week, 'what you don't go out? why?' he made me feel so stupid.
I am way too scared to self medicate, so please don't judge me on that. I am terrified of medications. It took them a year to persuade me to try Mirtazapine for my anxiety, I have been on 15mg 2 years and am terrified of it still lol!
I feel alone an like i am letting my children down right now