I am sorry to post again, I am about to start my letter to my GP and I am feeling a little upset.
I am 36 years old, 5ft tall and about 119lbs. 3 years ago I went through a horrible time in my life, my grandmother passed away and my brother became violent towards myself and other family members. He caused a lot of stress and anxiety and after an incident where I had to call the police I cut him out of my life. As a result my mother and sisters cut me off saying that he had been diagnosed with a personality disorder and that I should forgive him. I refused to because he caused my family pain and anxiety. A few months later I began with anxiety and panic attacks and soon became agoraphobic unable to leave my home. I had a tough year in 2013 so reluctantly agreed by the end of the year to try Mirtazapine/Remeron anti depressant as I wasn't sleeping, I was 84lbs in weight and felt terribly anxious. The medication even though a small 15mg dose helped and i started CBT and got my life back, I still struggled to do appointments alone and socialise but with hubby I was ok. Things settled and I was back out walking, exercising, taking my kids out... Life was good again. Then in summer of last year I started with the fatigue and felt my anxiety creeping back in, purely due to how exhausted and weak I felt. That's when my GP ran the thyroid tests as he suspected that's what I was suffering with. TSH came back within range at 5.35 (0.35-5.5 range) and FT4 11 (7-17). So I was just left to feel awful. I was exhausted so badly some days I just couldn't do anything but lie on my bed. This wasn't like me at all. It all started to increase my anxiety when I did go out alone or just with the children as I felt I would pass out or something, I found it scary. Slowly I became more scared to go out and the anxiety crept in. Then in September last year at another blood test I had a horrible panic attack in the nurses room and since then WHAM my anxiety was back. I hadn't had panic attacks or high anxiety in a long time so it was a shock.
Then in October after a year of bullying my son was struggling with school, he started with panic attacks due to the stress of this bullying, low self esteem and low mood. He told me he felt suicidal, he is 11. It broke me. Our GP saw him and referred him to the children's mental health team who refused to help saying I would be the best person to help as I had experience of anxiety myself. My GP hit the roof and my son slowly got worse to the point he would beg me not to leave him every morning at school, I would come home and just cry. Suddenly I was floored with dizziness, ground moving feeling, room moving feeling when I turned over in bed. I felt awful. My GP came out to see me as I took to my bed. He said I was suffering from extreme stress, I think he was right as I felt awful every day. My anxiety escalated due to all this stress. My GP came out a second time in December as the dizziness wasn't leaving me, I told him how ill I felt prior to this stress and the fatigue but he put it all down to the stress of my son, even though my ill health started well before that. He ran some bloods as long as my arm and told me they were fine, I had a print out and spoke to him about the results. He told me not to worry as he wasn't but he would repeat them all in the autumn of this year, this included my cholesterol and diabetes Hbac1 test.
In September 2015 my hba1c test was 38 (range 20-41 but range does go up to 48) he then repeated this test in December 2015 and it was 40. I queried this as it concerned me and he said no at 40 it's fine no cause for concern as it's within range. I have no family history of diabetes nor do I have a bad diet, I don't drink fizzy drinks, eat sweets or fatty foods. I have a healthy diet of no red meat, only chicken and fish, vegetables, complex carbs, oats every morning, green smoothies, fruit, nakd bars and little dairy now due to high cholesterol.
My cholesterol was total 6.9
LDL 3.9 Triglycerides 3.
He told me my cholesterol although high was not a risk at my age and he would re test in 9 months. He told me really not to worry as this was no reason to be causing me anxiety. I am just so worried, I do have high cholesterol on my mothers side of the family but not diabetes at all. Should I really not be worried? is it all just linked to my underactive thryroid?
So my thyroid TSH in December had gone down to 2.96 and T4 down to 10.2. GP said as the TSH was now mid range I was fine. He took the test at 1pm and he said that has no bearing on the result. He said he had no reason to repeat my thyroid again for at least 12 months. He is aware thyroid issues run right through my mothers side. So I went private with Blue Horizon this week and yesterday posted my results on a post on here. TSH 6.54 and FT4 had gone up to 14 which shocked me because it's always been between 10-11 on the NHS tests. Someone here replied and said that results differ from lab to lab, now is this true because I thought just ranges differed not the actual result because surely a TSH level is the same no matter the lab it's tested in?
So due to all of this fatigue, stress in my life which has now settled as I have counselled my son myself to cope with anxiety, these test results worrying me and not feeling well I am struggling with my anxiety so bad to the point I can't go to the GP. I don't want to ask him to come to my house again, he only did last month due to myself being dizzy and in bed for a week. I am so ashamed my agoraphobia is back, it upsets me because I take my children to school, cook, clean and maybe take my dogs out near my home but that's it. I will go to shops with my husband at the weekend but now I am back to only small shops. I did take my children to the cinema after Christmas and parks and I was proud of myself. It's just all this worry and fatigue for 8 months, it's wore me down and of course flared up my anxiety disorder again. I just feel I am back to square one with my anxiety because of all this. So ashamed right now I can't do appointments and worry about that every day. My husband says I am far too hard on myself I'm not having panic attacks thankfully they are rare but every day it's general anxiety and just fear of how I feel. My GP told me all the fatigue and dizziness must be my anxiety but I said to him, I am not anxious therefore I feel fatigued and weak, I am fatigued and weak therefore I feel anxious. He just doesn't understand that I had my life back, I had cut out the toxic people that hurt my family and my life was really happy again, I had recovered. Now all of this, and being left to struggle with the fatigue, taking care of my family, my son struggling.... it's been too much. My friend tells me I am amazing, every day I still take care of my home, myself, my children, pets..... she says I need to stop being hard on myself and realise how strong I am but right now I feel weak for having anxiety and agoraphobia again.
Sorry for this long ramble. I just needed to get it out. I am worried writing to my GP with my private thyroid results, expressing my concerns about my HBa1c and cholesterol results and asking for a telephone appointment won't be acceptable and he will think I am odd for not just going to see him.
Sorry this got long I really am.
Thank you all for your help, it's been amazing.