A mid week moan and gnashing of teeth

A mixture of good and bad for me of late. The miles I have clocked up by train attending different clinics and hospitals for myself and my children has been ongoing for the last two weeks now. I am sure I could outdo Michael Portillo in terms of distances covered, although with less exotic scenery. My first irritation was how the train company involved with most of my main line journeys, one with a long and chequered history of engineering works and unusable timetables, has appeared to think itself into operating like an airline. The feeble nasally introductions about staff on the train, and the thanks for travelling with them to certain very nondescript destinations made me snigger. I noted that the lurching at 5 miles an hour between various stations which eclipsed the connecting trains I needed was not spoken about. This was glossed over on more than two occasions by long rambling sentences which gave no information whatsoever and petered out before the end. 'thank you for travelling with us today etc', driver and ferocious ticket inspector, NOT pilot and airline stewards etc.

Most of my appointments other than immediately locally, have involved rushing to London to various hospitals, which although tiring and teeth gnashing due to the lack of a trains working smoothly on a planned day trip, have had the silver lined experience of me having to stay over with my friend 'Dithers'. She I might add has a lot going on at the moment, apart from the endless job applications which take several hours of writing her memoirs for each one, and her OCD flat cleaning operations peppered with suitable bling and flowers. The most startling transition is from her rather Mills and Boon type existence with a mystery man into what can only be described as full on Jackie Collins interspersed with Harold Robbins. I am so grateful that Dr BDP has made me apply my natural hormone cream daily as otherwise I might not have been a suitable confidante and agony aunt. I am aware that she has been quite distracted albeit still finding times to act out mock interviews with helpful friends and painting various exciting flowers to sell on her website.

From the shoesless experience at her front door, to protect the newly steamed carpets, through to silver candlesticks sporting lilac embossed candles, and then onwards into a sweet smelling boudoir, with expensive natural scents, the sort not to trigger my allergies, it is very clear that a very ardent admirer is visiting at least twice a week. I could barely sleep a wink in that bed, fifty shades of Lilac sprang to mind. Dithers is my very best friend and cooked me several exotic dinners including prawn biryani and a coconut dahl, accompanied by very nice wine and exotic chilled fruits. Alongside endless hospital clinics, I took a trip out in the car from London to Dr BDP's clinic in Surrey. My adrenal function was very well tested on the way due to the fact my son put his foot down in rather an alarming fast car. My tendency to operate a pretend set of pedals and hand break from the front passenger seat did not go unnoticed. This is a special set of skills inherited from my late mother who did the same on every single car journey, especially if being driven by my father.

Most of the clinics and journeys were fine, actually trains are my favourite mode of transport, and I did lots of texting with my new phone which I find very difficult to use, and also lots of fussing and table hogging with large newspapers, having lots of time to read. Only one journey made me bilious, smells on crammed public transport do set me off.

The final journey back from London had me faffing along the platform trying to find my booked seat, on quite a busy commuter train. Once on board I did fancy a quick power nap, but no such luck. Firstly along came a very tall man wearing one of those slightly shiny flapping long length rain macs with huge over done epaulettes. His appearance as he flew down the carriage took on that of a Pterodactyl in full flight. Lots of fussing with brief cases and travel cases nearly being dropped on my head, he then settled into some slack jawed snoring and grunting. Next a very uptight woman appeared who proceeded to press herself next to me, and consume, a giant potion of greasy chips, some nuggets a big burger and a milkshake which kept her busy for all of 5 minutes apart from the last bit of the shake which involved her using Dyson strength suction to get it into her mouth with all accompanying sounds. In contrast to her, sat opposite me a fascinating woman who spread out a tea towel on the table, (yes it did set off my OCD in the area alerts), she then proceeded to spend on hour and fifteen minutes consuming roughly two table spoons of lentils, some lemon slices, a hand full of lettuce leaves and 5 cucumber slices. I almost offered to chew it for her. Meanwhile somebody drunk slumped across the aisle from me and proceed to let out gaseous fumes both ends for the latter part of my journey.

I distracted myself on this final journey with being very pleased about how my appointment had gone with Dr BDP, who had squeezed me in for a very useful follow up appointment. My adrenals are better as are very obvious symptoms, including the reflexes in my feet which are much better and also the fact that not only am I slowly losing weight but also gaining new hair growth. This confirmed by a nice set of lady hairdressers in my local town. I have not had an actual hair cut for nearly 6 years, and explained to them that my hair did not grow, just snapped off and only half of what I had, however they can see new hair growth all over my head. Thank you natural desiccated thyroid treatments... and if you have read this far, do sign this and share it to recruit others please:


The week-ends have come and gone in between the various appointments, both my teenagers had very nasty diagnosed Flu, which took a while for them to recover from, the house was echoing with coughing every night for quite some time, this coupled with my reaction to their sore throats with head to to blistering Psoriarsis. This has receded now, and the rainbow babygro... ooops I mean Onsie is once again back in the wardrobe. The postman admitted to me this morning that he has missed my Onsies' particularly the purple furry one with ears.

Last Saturday morning I had a brief reprieve from endless medical fuss, and celebrated after yet another foul night of tossing and turning and preparing soothing drinks, by making myself a delicious pot of coffee, to celebrate having lurched out of bed and having finished the worst jobs of the day. As I prepared to go back to bed and enjoy this, a rather telling noise reached my ears which could only be temporary teenage squabbling. My investigations brought about a dreadful spectacle of a hand shut in the door, nail completely off and a fractured finger, bleeding profusely due to the Asprin we all take. So just for a change we went to the local hospital. They were very good and all was calm and sorted, but of course put me back into every other day appointments again!

I have resisted the urge roughly three times now, to pencil on a moustache to the grinning nurse posters in the various reception areas of the hospital, and also aware of my current cabin fever, made myself leave the house yesterday to walk as much as possible and have some me time in the town.

I must say my local town is very pretty but due to it's tendency to be twee, now has more than its share of shops selling snobby loafers, striped sailing shirts and those sort of gift shops which I am convinced are aimed at women of certain age. I call them menopausal coconut shies, they make me enraged for some reason. I did however give in and replace my broken that morning coffee pot with a new one. The woman asked if I was likely to break it, what made her ask me that I am not sure, perhaps my new hair on end appearance! I have a great tufted something or other appearance currently. Later in the day I had to attend the labs in the hospital with one child to do endless testing for our autoimmune diseases. I was most encouraged to see that the main receptionist had Gothic tendencies, she had made an attempt to calm her appearance down for work, but those heavily pencilled on arched eyebrows, bee sting purple lips and almost white foundation gave it away. I found myself talking to he with head on one side, as I engineered myself to the front of the queue.

I also had to do blood tests to find out about menopause and other such horrors. However as I explained to Dr BDP, I have recently held a party for my cat to celebrate being 18 and have now have two new furry cat baskets, one on my bed and another as a day bed downstairs in front of the fire. This in my mind is evidence that I am very something or other. The second cat basket is vital, due to the urge for Pussance to hide behind the stove and frighten us all with possible singeing of fur or worse, causing me to get her out with the broom. This is now barricaded up with old grills out of a previously trashed oven of mine, so she has to hop in the basket.

Mind you this does not always work, I have just arrived back from yet another hospital appointment and found next door's cat lying flat on its' back with it's legs open, inside this latest cat arrangement with mine two sat on the stairs making desperate noises...

This week-end will be different I have lots of very small people coming to stay, and I shall be putting my best show of child fun dinners and making a double size banoffee pie. I also have 50 balloons with led lights inside for before bed fun, my husband will blow these up, although he does not know this yet. My one pudding or sweet thing a week still applies alongside gluten free, so I shall look forward to demolishing the slice I have in the name of quality control.

More fuss in the future I am sure!


25 Replies

  • Thank you Mary - I am exhausted - and that is just the read. Smiles galore as I was reading.... :-)

    Hope you continue to find wellness - and a new hairstyle :-) Sounds promising !

  • Thank you. All the best to you. MaryF

  • Had a good giggle about your travelling companions :) you need to develop a horrible and scary hacking cough and frighten all the other passengers away - a bit like a guy a few seats down from me a couple of weeks ago. I stood my ground but boy even I was tempted to move to a cough free zone.

    The small ones will be high as little kites with the 50 led lit balloons - have fun 😊

  • Yes I remember the advice from Billy Connolly about coughing violently and publicly into a handkerchief that you have already cracked a raw egg into. MaryF

  • Now that is such a Billy Connelly tale. I'm from Glasgow and I remember him on the folk scene when he was a Humblebum. He was much funnier back then before he started swearing all the time. His stories back then were absolutely fantastic, just how life was in Goasgow back then.

  • I visited the tour in Glasgow in the 80's! Remember it well. MaryFx

  • Oh Mary, you young thing you, I'm talking about the Billy Connelly of the late 60s early 70s back when he was just out of short trousers 😊

  • Yes I did realize.... I know of his folk past and how he used to tell long rambling stories between songs and then play a tune, and then it gradually changed over the other way. MaryFx

  • Love your fuss, can't stop giggling! X

  • Good, laughter makes us better! MaryF

  • Hope all the doctor fuss soon gets sorted. The story of your burning cat had me in fits of giggles!!! You are so funny :D xxx

  • Yes every time the fire gets hot, as in stove, she either gets underneath or behind it, I have had to resort to drastic measures... the the thought of a 'Mrs Slocombe moment' being only just around the corner, is not terribly relaxing. MaryFx

  • It's great to get your updates and you should have your blogs published as they are so funny. Why don't we have more doctors like BDP?

  • I think they are to be, I have offered them to TUK to make into a book, to make money for the charity, and have fended off somebody else....MaryF

  • That's great - we shall have to pre-order.

  • Well Mary was just about to leap out of bed as a bit late to start my day but saw you were the next poster so I'm still here but smiling! I too loved your train companions or at least hearing about them! Yes you really must put your stories into print! Make sure though that's it's part one so we know that another will be forthcoming!

  • Thanks, apparently TUK are going to do this.... MaryF

  • That's great! Shall look forward to hopefully reading those I have missed!

  • I am not sure what the plan is, maybe ask Lyn or Louise! Also you can go back in time through the system....MaryF

  • Good plan Mary but not good at motivating myself at the moment but I hope they put then all in so we have scope eventually for Book 2!

  • On a miserable Friday morning it was so uplifting to read your blog, they are certainly better than tablets!!

  • Ha ha, yes just got one of those Nutri Adrenal horse pills stuck in my neck, so I am inclined to agree.... MaryF

  • Thank you for brightening up a cold, wet afternoon. Feeling down so just what I needed. Can't wait for the book to come out. Will it be soon?

  • It really is up to TUK, so no idea. MaryF x

  • yet another good un , ...... have you thought about a title for the long awaited book yet ? ---- 1 that comes to mind could be ' THE MUSINGS OF A MEDICATED MUM ' ........alan xx

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