Fuss Fuss Friday and the mystery of the disappearing urine sample

I am virtually daily, really enjoying the sun in my garden, I am still panting loudly, most days on exercise machines and making various neighbours snigger. I do half my exercise out there, and only stop if it rains. Today after my 25 minutes, I then ended up on all fours rampaging through the undergrowth like a wild boar, as I attempted to help my neighbour find her missing cat. I might add a most beautiful, large cat with very unusual markings, an extra long tail and a face split into two separate colours. This cat regularly hides and in fact is often to be found on my bed. This only becomes clear to me after dead of night unearthly growling noises, which normally makes me swat my husband, and then wake us all up. The growling comes from my own cats not that one. However this cat was seriously missing and we felt it might be in my bushes playing hard to get. Over time it transpired it was indeed in the owners' spare room hidden under a large volume of interesting clutter, and enjoyed how much it had been missed.

My exercise is going well, it is hard work as I have serious fatigue from having five different diseases, but as I fully do not intend to submit to being 'ten ton tessie' the serious and paced work on this has commenced. I regularly get knocked back with an inflamed spine and swollen joints, but between these events I must continue. I would like to blame all my weight gain on my Thyroid, a lot of it is, but some of it is from being forced to be more sedentary, and quite simply I am not having it. I refuse to go on a crash diet, which I now will only bring it all back again at a later date, so it steady slow weight loss with more exercise and sensible eating. I seem to be losing 1 and half to two pounds a week which is fine by me. Certainly I tried this approach before and nothing happened, but the addition of Nature Thyroid seems to be doing the trick. I certainly look better already. Gone is the water retention and teenage acne and hello new hair growth! This new hair appears to be sticking through my other hair in slight tufts.

I went to a bar the other day for a drink with my husband, it was full of beards, so my new yeti like appearance was in keeping the the painfully trendy surrounds. I spied a bearded teacher in there who sometimes teaches one of my children when they are off ill. He was not having any beer, he noted my lack of alcohol and explained that he had given up everything for lent. My reply was that I found it much easier to ditch religion altogether. After other such lead balloon comments. I settled into a nice dialogue with my lovely man about the sort of day we had had.

His day had consisted of continual rolling clients - from 8 in the morning until attacking my dinner at 7.30 in the evening like a man possessed who had left his packed lunch behind in the morning, on the table at home. My events had taken a different turn. I am literally plagued with infections and my bladder and kidneys have been very naughty and Lupusy. For the umpteenth time, I had to go and see the doctor and have it tested. All very well.

I had marched into reception and politely demanded a specimen pot ahead of schedule and proceeded to produce copious amounts of what was required. I then sat in the waiting room feeling smug and organized, or I did until a rather hideous sensation shocked me out of a vacant day dream, a dawning realization that something tepid was seeping down through my furry sleevless jacket, via the pocket, and down my trouser leg and towards my boots. Unfortunately I had not put the lid on the sample pot and most of it was about my person. Right on time I was called in to the GP, with what amounted to a cm to test my kidney function. He then sent me straight to the hospital, I could not get out quick enough and needed a swift stop in a charity shop to find more clothes. I opted for baby wipes, combat trousers and an outsize sweatshirt as everything else on view was veering towards either Demis Roussos or Margo Leadbetter. I really could not get home quick enough and into another bath, tramps I have encountered in my life sprung to mind. My new hair was on end and I felt most undignified. The silver lining to these awful things that happen to me, and yes there are far worse, is that I am frequently invited out to dinner as I do keep my dreadful happenings stored up for such events as entertainment.

Today, has been a day of finding lost things, clothes that 'he' swears he has not seen, found stuffed down the bed right at the bottom, missing saucepans found hidden in the garden blackened to indicate a recent fire, which will have been him deciding to toast nuts and seeds, leave the gas on max and then go down the bottom of the garden to take a heated work call. Other projects involve taking all of my tv controllers to use with other musical equipment and computers but not actually tell me this, until I have turned an entire house upside down trying to locate them. His response being, well it does give you plenty of exercise.

He is forgiven as he is whisking me off to Marrakech for five days. We virtually never ever go anywhere as our children are poorly, but one of our best friends, 'Hairy Legs' who is a very clever person and works part time as a teacher will assist with their studies when not at school and make sure they get there on the right days. Even more reason for me to resist the idea of a tented smock to wear on the beach, I wish to be fit enough to swim there when I am able to.

My other distraction has been 'Dithers' my best friend who lost her job a few weeks ago, she is aware that I spend half my life commuting to different hospitals either locally or in London and makes me very welcome in her flat with or without various teenagers, when in London. Last week, for a while she came to stay with me out East, when I was ill. This greatly cheered me up as I struggled on through various virus reactions and infections. Her tales of new dates and exotic dinners are uplifting, as are mine posing as vagrant in the local town. We managed a few shopping trips locally to find extra clothes for the new job she has just secured. Second hand shops have moods, sometimes you can go in and they are very 'Gok Wan Capsule Wardrobe-ish' DIthers is the Queen of capsule wardrobes.

On the last few expeditions into these premises, not many things surfaced, everything had a distinct flavour of veering towards mild bondage quality to it, lots of studs and and misplaced belts and loops, with leatherette panels. Not quite becoming for a lady entering into the public sector to ease housing disputes and placements in a city context. Now I am back home and in bed again, exhausted not only from my daily physio but also the latest search in my town, I now realize I should have bought the Demis Roussos kaftan, the postman is bored with my technicoloured onsie. I had to go out and pay my son's taxi the other afternoon and the neighbours directly opposite us froze with fright! All this talk of Demis Roussos will drive me to watching Abigail's Party for the 100th time:

Now I am in bed with a migraine typing this, an entire band consisting of my husband who is avoiding reports to be written, and my various teenagers and their mates have arrived under my bedroom and are now playing wild music.

I look forward to gliding towards my next blog healthily another two pounds lighter. It is really interesting that my diet and exercise is similar to usual but that something is shifting.....


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13 Replies

  • Oh Mary, when you said your sample had disappeared I thought you had lost it - not left the lid off and emptied all over yourself! Sorry to say I'm still sniggering at the vision of it all.

    Hope you feel a lot better soon 😄

  • Thank you, have a lovely week-end. MaryFx

  • And you too Mary😀

  • hoe you have a lovely break in the sun ....at least you wont need the vit.d.tabs there ...alan xx

  • Yes.... thank you MaryFx

  • Well done on the weight loss Mary. I couldn't help but laugh at your sample story, the same thing happened to me only mine was luckily in my bag (only cost me a new bag, diary etc.) Hope your health improves soon.

  • Thank you...... M x

  • Sorry you haven't been well but hope you are now feeling much better.

  • Thank you, have a fab week-end x MaryF

  • Mary, I'm careful to make sure the lid on samples is tightly closed. Not careful enough to avoid sitting on the thing and cracking it though :(

    Have a lovely break. I'm envious of the prospect of sun, sand and swimming in the sea.

  • Thank you, thankfully I am not taking a vacation at the Niagra Falls! MaryF

  • Very funny as usual Mary! I can relate to your not wanting to turn into a ten ton tessie, I've reached that stage unfortunately :( Hey ho! xxx

  • Well any bigger for me and I will rolled down the nearest hill as a barrel! MaryF

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