Appt with (NHS) Consultant - part good/part bad

[DumbBlonde]

After the year from Hell with the GP Practice (with a complaint being lodged; exhausting in itself), one of (have seen 4/5 different ones) the GPs (a trainee) referred me on (back, actually - saw this Consultant in 2010...) to General medicine at the Hospital.

Now, I say he referred me - and indeed he did; but it was really my suggestion and not his. Basically, he had reached the "limit" of what he could do and of his knowledge. The only test that had been done - in addition to those by another GP in June - was "TFT", which was in fact only TSH, which had risen from 2 point something to over 3 in a few months. Oh, also ferritin was done which seems to hover around 40, which he wanted to class as normal.

Because I had asked about other things - shortness of breath (= asthma), tingling in hands (= carpal tunnel syndrome), rejection as a blood donor due to failing their low iron test ("nooo, not anemia") and of course the inexorable weight gain, to the point where (it took four appointments to get the time to ask this) I actually asked for a referral to someone to talk about breast reduction (!!) - the thyroid issues seemed to be on the back burner - and this GP was certainly not going to either treat them or even see that the thyroid MAY be causing/exacerbating all of these things and more. No real need to make me wait for the Hospital appointment, which anyway - I have a copy of the referral letter - seemed more to be an exercise in proving that I am a depressed hypochondriac than any kind of real hope that I can be helped.

So, two months after the referral, off I trotted (more like dragged myself) to see the guy I saw four years ago. The one who said that "you people don't ever suffer from low iron, because you eat meat; not like us". (I'm vegetarian, and at that time, ferritin tested at 20.) This time the comparison was that there are less cases of goitre here than in India because there is far less chance of an iodine deficiency here. (Yes, he's Indian. Is this some kind of reverse racism....? haha, just kidding.) He said this after having a bit of a laugh at the handwritten list that I pulled out of my bag, written mainly because I was afraid of forgetting something (I have given up on attending these meetings/interviews, I mean, appointments armed with more formal notes with references and a copy of Dr D-P's book).

When just reading the list out loud, the way I had felt before I went and how I felt at that moment - combined with the very real fear that I was wasting everyone's time - reduced me to a sniveling wreck, he reminded me that thyroid and depression can have common factors (*sigh*).

Nevertheless, he did order a whole raft of blood tests. I hesitantly asked if T3 was not included - and he told me that the test for T4 would be enough as T3 converts to T4, so there must be enough T3 if T4 is in range (tell me I'm not going mad and that is it is actually the other way around....!), so the NHS categorically does not test for T3 at all - this was the point at which me mentioned the goitre in India as though knowing that would be somehow useful for me.

The list of the tests he has ordered follows; those with ?, I think I have read wrongly, so if anyone knows what they might be, it would be a help to me (I think, as I have been told back at my Practice that I don't have the knowledge to be able to understand them in context, at which time, I was refused sight of the test that I had done in June):

[I did note that no Vitamin D or lipids, but there seem to be a number hat look at adrenal and pituitary function. I have been getting a nasty pain in the side of my head so, probably also to keep me quiet, a CT scan - not sure what of... - will be arranged after the blood results are back. Interestingly, when I went to make the CT appointment, the clerk told me that she would have the blood test results (taken at 12 noon) back to her by that very afternoon.

[I had been told that a copy of the blood tests will be sent to me, so that's a plus, definitely.]

This post is getting long, so I will continue in a separate one (as a reply to myself...will that work?)

(Two reasons: I'm not sure if there is a character limit, and 2) Don't want to send anyone who is kind enough to read it cross-eyed.

Love to all

x

[DumbBlonde]

So - to continue - the blood tests that have been ordered (and done, by now, I would suppose) are....

FBC, ESR, U&E, BONE, LFT

(I know what all of these are)

TSH & T4, B12, Folate, Ferritin

(And these)

Coeliac Ab

Antithyroid Ab

Prolaction

(Pituitary gland - elevated during physical and emotional stress - my default state; lowered if poor sleep or damaged pituitary gland)

Cortisol

(Not going to set much store by this due to time of day - although I had been "fasting", i.e. hadn't eaten so far that day)

ACTH (?Adrenocorticotropic hormone)

(Something something adrenal glands/pituitary gland)

PTH (Parathyroid hormone)

Released by parathyroid gland, controls calcium, phosphorous and vit D levels....)

Also - these two, that I think I have read wrongly - ?AMF/ANF and ?UBD

I couldn't make sense of the notes he had written on the CT request form and forgot to ask the (lovely and helpful) appointments clerk.

So, if anyone wants to offer me some input as to what they think of this....

I am semi-hopeful but at the same time at he absolute end of my tether.

So much so that I found myself calling my Mental Health Crisis Team today when my mind was taking me down a very VERY dark path and I just could not see a way out of the mess that I am in and that no-one (in my personal life) seems to want to help me with; in fact, just the opposite.

Thank you very very much for reading,

xx

[gabkad in reply to DumbBlonde]

Don't run just yet. I think these you actually got an excellent panel of tests ordered. And the parathyroid too. Wow. Okay so he didn't order fT3 like it costs an ounce of platinum or something, but there's a lot of excellent material coming which is very valuable. If you pituitary or you parathyroids are tanking, this is good.

So what, the guy is a bit of a twit. I just don't know why doctors seem to lack a bit of empathy for desperate patients. Just xxxx LISTEN and keep the snark outside the door someplace.

Iodine deficiency is common in England. Iodine is not generally added to salt and people are not drinking milk so they are not getting their iodine. So as a vegetarian you could be low in iodine and even selenium. I wish they'd just test these too.

I notice he didn't order HgbA1c (diabetes anyone? That'll make a person feel like crap too). And some kidney and liver function tests would have been nice too. Fatty liver can make a person feel bad.

edited by admin

[DumbBlonde in reply to gabkad]

Yes - this is why I am torn as to what to do. A good range of tests but ordered with a"This will show you once and for all"-type approach [or it felt that way in my confused and paranoid mind]. He did ask me to "explain" myself when i said that I constantly have a basal temperature of around 34.7 and said no more - even when I told him just how cold my face is - so cold, that I am sure the skin of my dead-for-nearly-a-week Grandmother was warmer when I visited her in the Chapel of Rest.

So, in terms of tests, it was worthwhile, even without (haha - costs an ounce of platinum...) the T3. I think he did order Liver - LFT? and I am not sure that GFR (for some part of kidney function, and which in my case has not been good n the past) doesn't somehow get lumped in with some of the others. I am probably wrong with that though.....

Everything else, yes indeed, the SNARK (almost the opposite of what the medical profession should be about, I say) made me feel even worse - including his Nurse-Assistant who just wanted to give me a run of her lifetime of equestrian experience because I had said that only a couple of years ago, I was looking after 33 horses [to explain that I was NOT always this way...] as I sat there miserably. If THAT was meant to make me feel better, it didn't.

I grew up in Derbyshire, the worst place in the country for incidences of goitre through lack of iodine; so much that it is referred to as "Derbyshire neck". (I have no outward signs of it though - and did try painting on some iodine to see if it was absorbed; when I mentioned this to him too, he had a little chuckle.)

I may try to ring and see what's what with results today :o/ Thank you so much for your reply xx

[greygoose in reply to DumbBlonde]

They are so bloody rude!!! How dare they laugh at us, that makes me so mad! If only they knew how close they come to breathing their last when they laugh at me. I have a very short temper. I explode very easily. It just is not on to laugh at and make fun of sick people. What in this world makes them think they're soooooo Superior, I'd like to know. Dimwits, most of them. Arrrrrrhhhhhggg. lol

Sorry, but I feel so bad for you, been there, received that sort of treatment. Fortunately, I was a teacher and learnt how to deal with silly little boys showing off. I developed 'the look'. Soon shuts them up. But I'd still like to wring their self-satisfied necks and shove their thyroids up their... noses.

Yes, that doctor was wrong saying that T3 is converted into T4... oh dear, words fail me...

I do hope the tests shed some light on things. Keep us posted!

Hugs, Grey

[DumbBlonde in reply to greygoose]

Thank you Grey, you have made me smile.

Once upon a time I had some strength (riding instructor,fitness instructor) but even then, it seemed to make people dislike me, rather than respect me; I really could do with some of your "attitude" :o) One particular Dr wanted to tell me that I would not understand the results "in context" (I have studied SOME Human Biology at undergraduate level......*sigh*) and he had had 12 years training so I must just take his word and not ask for my blood test results (I am repeating something I posted a few months ago here - forgive me). I did get copies of them - sneakily - in addition to my medical notes since then. His remarks are tantamount to slander and are certainly subjective and, in the main, irrelevant as far as my health is concerned. A portion of my residual energy and attention is - I am sorry to say - directed at escalating my existing (and now sidelined) complaint, which is not so easy now there is no PALS.

xx

[greygoose in reply to DumbBlonde]

I do understand how you feel. I am Lucky in that living in France, the lab gives me my results directly. No questions. Also, I can skip from doctor to doctor, if I so wish, but the notes one doctor has made do not follow me to the next.

However, I remember when I was going for hospital visits with my sick baby in England, and the receptionist would seal my baby's notes with celotape before handing them to me to give to the doctor - as if I counted for nothing in the deal! I was just the go-between with no say in anything. That did annoy me! And I know that my GP had said something about me being an over-anxious mother - it's either that or a neglectful mother! You can't win for losing! Anyway! lol Yes, it's all wrong and the system needs drastically changing to take all that misused power out of the hands of doctors!

And I don't know where they get this idea that if you haven't been to med school you're obviously an idiot. Although, I did read somewhere that in med school they are taught that all patients are idiots and liars. Don't know how true that is...

My last ex doctor would patiently try to explain to me, as to a moron, that my TSH was suppressed so that meant that I should cut my 25 mcg T3 back to 12.5 (my dear...). And when I argued with him, telling him how it really worked, he would say well, I do have a certain advantage over you, I've been a doctor for 40 years (thunder, crash of lightening, struck dead by the gods! lol). And I said, so what. Learning is a continual progress and what you learnt 40 years ago no-longer holds true. Silly old fool. Well, he was younger than me in years, but...

So, up-shot was, I now self-treat. Again! But now I can say I have given the system a fair try and it failed me miserably! Long story, won't bore you any longer, but know I'm with you in spirit! (And yes, I have got my spirit back after a long absence!)

Hugs, grey

[DumbBlonde in reply to greygoose]

Yes gg, you are lucky to live in France, for many reasons, not just healthcare :o)

I think that even though we are allowed access to our medical notes, it IS made difficult rather than easy - and the fact that they tailgate us CAN be useful in a time-saving sense but, as one of the initial meetings with a new Dr should involve a history taken by them, then the notes that have followed could, as in my case, do MORE HARM than good, allowing - if they are the type - to form an opinion based on the opinion of someone else. (The opposite of part of the Hippocratic oath.) When I asked for mine most recently, a woman came out into Reception and asked me loudly why I wanted them, then took me into a little room and again asked me why I wanted them and asked that I complete an access form again, even though there was one on record from July. Also, authorisation was required from the Practice Manager, who called me to tell me I could have them seeming to forget that I still have - and it is "increasing" - a complaint in the system that needs to be dealt with! It was made very very difficult, time-consuming and protracted.

Many years ago, on one occasion, I was carted off to the Psychiatric ward when I "demanded" medication for what was blatantly post-natal depression. Pushed into a side room close to the Nurse treatment room, I was told later (by a friend who saw me there) that I was referred to as "dangerous" - yep, sitting there, miserable, tear-stained, with my infant on my lap waiting for the White Coat Men to "take me away". Incredibly dangerous. Oh and no help from either quarter.

It would be interesting to see what my notes say from those days...... [maybe a dangerous path to go down, I might end up wanting to take them to Court!]

Now may I ask one question which does indeed show my stupidity; I need to know what suppressed TSH is/might be - and how to achieve it.

Back in 2010 when I first asked for TFT, it came back 0.04 and they started to suggest I was hyperthyroid based on this. To me, this is LOW.... (vs. now "high" at over 3 - but obviously not by their standard, even though one GP "accepted" that there has been an upward trend...) so what is the difference between low and suppressed and how would I know??

xxx

xx

(Excuse my ignorance about this fact, I have been afraid to ask....)

[greygoose in reply to DumbBlonde]

Oh, don't ever be afraid to ask anything! (Pst! I'm thinking of writing a post to ask if anybody else feels elated when they cut their toenails, or is it just me???)

None of us are born knowing all this. 99% of us are totally ignorant to all things thyroid when the problems first arise. I didn't even know where the thyroid was! (I think some doctors have that problem, too. One doctor said it's 'otherwise known as the Adam's Apple! Ha!)

Well, suppressed is usually considered to be 0.01 - my TSH, and has been for the past... 10 years?

And it has been like this whatever the level of my Frees - which are the most important, of course.

So, initial diagnosis, TSH 0.04. I can see why they thought hyper. BUT the next step should have been to test the Frees, because you cannot be hyper until your FT3 is way over the top of the range AND you have hyper symptoms. TSH on it's own is useless. In an ideal world, it wouldn't be used to treat, but this is Big Pharma world and the TSH brings them in a lot of money - after all, they invented it!

The way you acheive a suppressed TSH is to take enough thyroid hormone replacement that the pituitary no-longer needs to signal the thyroid to make more hormone - that's what TSH does, (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone). How much that would take dépends on the person and the state of their pituitary and their thyroid, etc. Possibly, not very much.

The advantage of a suppressed TSH is for Hashi's patients. Stimulating the thyroid to produce, also stimulates the antibodies to attack. No stimulation, no attack. Thus you can preserve what's left of your thyroid in case one day they find a cure for Hashi's. Not an impossible dream! It's also handy to presserve what's left in case you, one day, find yourself unable to access hormone for a certain time (I went three months without my TSH rising too much). You know, something like going away for the weekend and forgetting your pills, you still have a bit of gland as a back-up.

So, how would you know? Only by a blood test. You cannot feel your TSH as such. You feel hypo when your Frees are low, you feel hyper when they're too high, but you cannot feel the TSH.

This, of course, is a vast over-simplification. There are other complications if one is pedantic, but they are not helpful to us as the situation stands. So, personally, I prefer not to muddy the waters with them - hey, life is hard enough as it is!

I had post natal depression, too. And the worst of it was seeing the doctor. I sat in his surgery, crying uncontrollably as he wrote a prescription for Valium, and he said to his student : these bloody people, they have a row with the next door neighbour and come running to the doctor for a pill to make it alright! I have never felt so humiliated in my whole life. I had given birth three weeks previous and this moron asked me if I was just upset because I hated my husband!!! I hope he rots in hell!

A friend once came to stay with us in France, with his wife. She was an NHS midwife, so what more natural than to sit comparing different health services. When I said that I had access to my notes - letters where in unsealed envelopes so that patients could read them - she cried oh, but that's so wrong! I asked why. She said well, what if you want to write to your colleague that this woman is a hypocondriacal, whinging, complaining bitch and a bloody nuisance? I said, well, you just shouldn't write that sort of thing!!! Unbelievable, isn't it!

[greygoose in reply to greygoose]

Worst, most hurtful, thing a doctor ever said to me?

When I hit sixty, my kids treated me to a trip to Egypt - a life-long dream. So, I went to the doctor and asked what shots I might need. He said well, none, I don't think, there is hepatitas A, but that's sexually transmitted, so you don't need that. ??????????? What the...??? Was that a comment on my age and lack of sexual appeal??? lol Or was I imagining it?

I'm afraid I took it the 'wrong' way and was very huffy with him after that. Was it the wrong way? Or was he really dismissing me as a sexual being?

[DumbBlonde in reply to greygoose]

Oh gg :o) - I am no sure that that was actually the insult you took it as..... (depending on the way he said it of course); rather that he probably assumed that you were married and not likely to be acquiring any new sexual partners. (Especially not in Egypt maybe??)

But yes, from what I'm understanding, the 60's are the new - erm - 40's? 30's?

(My 50's aren't working out too well so I would like to know there might be something to look forward to....)

:o/

[greygoose in reply to DumbBlonde]

No, he knew I was divorced! And - although I wasn't interested - Egypt is a very good place to find sexual parteners, if you're that way inclined! lol He said it very dismissively, too. I think I gasped. lol

Oh, I'm sorry your 50s are so good. My 50s were the best time of my life! I got divorced at 50 and moved to Paris, went on the stage (another life-time ambition) and generally had a good time. Paries, parties, parties! I could stay up all night in those days. I lost a lot of weight at 50 - combination of a tough divorce and a hyper swing, I think. I went downhill at 55, though, when I was operated for a slipped disc I didn't have. Picked up again at 60 and went down again at 65 until now, 69. I'm quite looking forward to 70! Won't be going abroad though. It's not the foreign countries that put me off, it's the French airports! Don't think I could withstand another one of those!

No, I'm thinking of moving into a nice little cottage, with roses round the door (not obligatory) and getting a dog (another dog, mine died last year). And getting down to some serious writing! Yup. I think that's doable! lol

[DumbBlonde in reply to greygoose]

Thank you so much for the education, I will read more closely and add to my research notes in a little while. You are a great great help :oD x

It is so easy to get a real hate-on for these medical professionals; they wield such power and can do such terrible damage, when they are meant to do the opposite. I have never felt safe in their hands - but have rather been met with rudeness and dismissal. I was always the person who looked - and indeed, probably WAS - well; rosy cheeks, athletic body-type blah blah. I could never skip Games at school - even if genuinely not well, I always looked the opposite!. I grew up with one GP (and Dentist) from age 4 to 24) and he knew everything about me (from a very poor start in life....); I really do struggle with the current system :o( ---- and I certainly cannot - even with make-up etc - pass myself off as well any more. But they usually seem to think a person MUST be alright because, "well, they got here didn't they?"

Was your midwife friend being sarcastic? I do hope so... They should stick to the medical facts; personal opinions have little value and besides, they wouldn't want to conceal it if they wrote nice things :o/

[greygoose in reply to DumbBlonde]

She was not my friend! lol She was the wife of a friend of my ex! No, she was Deadly serious. I was so shocked! And would have taken it further to tell her just exactly what I thought of her, when the men reappeared and we went off to do something else. An oppertunity I regret missing. But I don't suppose it would have done any good.

DumbBlonde, may I say I hate your name! lol I guess it's just a joke, but I really think you should change it to something more positive - like NotSoDumbBlond! I'm - was - chestnut, but my ex always treated me like a dumb blond and I hated it. My fault, my twisted sense of humour, but I found it insulting. And you're not dumb at all! So, I shall now address you as NotSo - if you don't mind, that is...

So, NotSo, please don't hesitate to ask questions. I think I speak for everyone here in saying that it is our pleasure to answer them if we are able. That's why we're here. And we just want to see you get well!

I had the rosey cheeks, too - although I think they were more blood-shot than healthy! All those unkind comments about me going red, when it was a hypo symptom after all. So much I have been blamed for when it was Hashi's fault, not mine. Like being fat, and slow, and... well, you know what I mean. It's the whole image that needs changing.

I've now lost about 50 kilos, and - guess what! - I've got cheek-bones! lol And people say oh, you're so thin, have you been ill. Well, actually, I feel better now than I have for years! I've lost weight because I'm getting better, not because I've been ill. But before, when I was fat, people didn't think I could possibly be ill because I was fat. Duh. They are incapable of seeing it as just another symptom.

Oh well, I could go on all night, but I will stop now.

Hugs, grey

[DumbBlonde in reply to greygoose]

Ha ha - NotSo; I like it! :o) Please, feel free....

I have been perpetually regarded as stupid and nowadays, my worries (health, background c**p so on and son on) seem to have eaten away at my intellectual capacity. Trust me, I may seem OK on "paper"/writing, but I am far from clever any more, if I ever was ;o/ (I was just listening to a radio feature about grammar schools: I truly do think that that was the last time I had more than one brain cell rattling around. And is very very long ago... Incidentally, I was sent (forced?) to a grammar school and yet, wasn't allowed to stay on past 16 (and I was too weak to fight that battle with my "family"). Talk about a pointless exercise...:o(

I have just spoken to my Consultant's (lovely!) secretary who told me that I will certainly get copies of the blood test results and that he will write to me and the GP at the same time, so that i can chase up the GP if (as it would be....) necessary, and also that he will review the results to check if anything required before or in addition to the CT scan. She sounded SO lovely (the kind of person I used to be- helpful, efficient,kind and friendly) with a reassuring, "You're under control". I felt so much better.

Speaking of France vs NHS, my Father - a true francophile (lived in the Dordogne and then Lyon for a long time) - comes to England sometimes when he travels from his now home of Canada to friends in your country and his emotional home. But guess what, he had both his cataracts done by the good old NHS. *shakes head*

Warmest hugs back to you

"NotSo"

xx

PS - oh, the weight..... I wish I could lose 50kg (that's what I actually used to weigh, although was a bit too thin then) . I have now developed a full-blown eating disorder (am prone to it - both mentally and physically) and know that that won't help at all with thyroid issues.....

Is that loss through successfully treating yourself....?

xx

[greygoose in reply to DumbBlonde]

Yes, it is. It's through taking the dose of T3 that I need, rather than what the doctor is prepared to give me according to my TSH! That makes all the difference. It's taken a lot of trial and error (mostly error) to find a dose I feel comfortable on, but I don't doubt that that might change in the future. I think the idea that we get on a fixed dose and stay there forever is flawed. I don't think our thyroids work that way.

OK, so I may have lost 50 kilos, but I could still do with losing a bit more to get back to what I considered to be a good size when I was 35, and fit into my lovely clothes that I had then. Is that asking too much? Some dresses I just couldn't bear to give or throw away and are still sitting in a trunk in the attic waiting for me... lol Seriously, I did put on an awful lot, and stopped weighing myself when I hit 120 kilos!

Are you receiving any help with your eating disorder? I have been through a few patches that might have been classed anorexia had I been 17, but at 50 they don't take that seriously! Anyway, it passed. Don't ask me how.

No, I don't think you're stupid. I think your brain is starved of T3 and is doing the best job it can Under the circumstances. Most of us have been there, done that... My thinking is a little clearer now, but I still have aphasia where I wave my hands in the air trying to grasp the word that is on the tip of my tongue but won't go any further. Drives my family mad! And sometimes I have trouble understanding what people are saying. As one girl put it 'the words shimmer and dance in the air before me but I can make no sense of them'. Or words to that effect. I know what she means. Someone repeats something three times and I still have to say, no, sorry, I fail to grasp the meaning of that sentence! lol I'm hoping it will come back. Thank god for internet and Google! When writing - or even talking on the telephone - I can just take a second to ask Google what the hell I'm talking about! lol

I was in the Dordogne at the end of October. It is so wonderful there! I didn't want to come home to the dirty, dreary Oise. But one has to live where the work is, I'm afraid. I can't wait to go back, though. The wonderful food there certainly had an effect on my appetite and I ate tons more than I usually do. Felt so much better for it.

Actually, the French system, and the NHS aren't bad with cataracts. But I heard a horrendous story about a friend's cousin who had hers done in Canada with terrible conséquences. Can't remember the détails but they put some sort of freezing liquid on her eyes after the op for... some reason, and it cracked and... I just hope I never have to have mine done anywhere! So perhaps it's good he got it done on the NHS!

I went to a Grammar School, too! Beckenham Grammar School for Gals! lol Couldn't wait to leave at 17! But I didn't find it a waste of time, it taught me a lot. And, as I always say to my kids, no Learning is ever wasted in the long run!

Glad you've had a good experience with that secretary. It gives you hope, doesn't it.

Hugs, Grey

[DumbBlonde in reply to greygoose]

A few months ago, I dd get hold of Cytomel and posted here about it. Not got to grip with taking it as I also considered anemia, vit D deficiency and poor (VERY poor) diet in general (and yet, high cholesterol and overweight by their standards of measurement) to be factors that I needed to address; hence more Dr visits, more upset and, in the end, believing myself to just have a mental disorder (which I DO actually have.....), which, as I put it to them, they weren't treating either!

I do feel my brain dying though - probably partly through circumstances/my personality; if it were to come back on-line, I might be a force to be reckoned with (like you are)!

No-one thinks an overweight person can have an eating disorder; telling professionals that I eat virtually nothing (and yet have a very good understanding of nutrition) gets met with a (oh yeah?) side-eye and raised eyebrow. I know that to not eat doesn't help at all but for example last night, I ate a bowl of vegetables with cheese sauce and a chocolate-type protein cookie - and then ballooned by about three dress sizes. As I went to get up, I looked like Buddha. Very very scary.... But gone again this morning - although I was admittedly afraid to get myself vertical; so much slimmer when lying down!

Generally, I am a14-16 (up from size 10) and refuse to weigh myself due to becoming obsessed with it last year and also fear that all my efforts this year have come to nothing. I even politely declined to have height/weight charted at the Hospital last week. The Nurse sniffed, "Well, we can't work out your BMI than..." Shame, I thought - 1) I could tell you, 2) It means nothing anyway.

In my thinnest (unhealthy - and probably the start of all this) days (around the time of my marriage falling apart), I was about 7.5 stone which at 5ft 7in is not a good look. I went on a trip with my Father and his wife around this time and if they called me anorexic once, they did it a dozen times (and yet, called me a pig when I reached for key lime pie - when we were actually in Naples, Florida....). I never believed myself to be anorexic then, as I never thought I was fat. I was very very unhappy and have a lot of mental issues around food. It happened again in 2007 when I combined work with a love affair and they both fell apart at the same time. Cue, no eating, dress size 4 :o(

Surely age, depression, blah blah cannot be blamed for my weight gain. But I mention my weight - SIZE (I actually don't usually go on numbers, apart from REALLY important ones) and get The Look that you know means they think you are off to the take-away very night. When I barely eat 1000 calories a day - and they are healthy calories. It has reached the point where I hardly eat anything at all for one reason or another.

I did love my school and wish I could have the chance again. It was St Helena High School for Girls and I adored the building if nothing else. It recently went up for sale and has been purchased by University of Derby after having been Council Offices for years. The images on facebook depressed me when I saw generic office furniture on the lovely parquet floors an stained glass windows and juliet-balcony flanked by those awful blue screens that offices use. The overgrown tennis courts and air=raid shelters where I almost got caught trying to smoke (ugh) sent me straight back to my awkward ugly-duckling - but hopeful!! - adolescence. As it was, they were focused on students who were headed to Oxbridge and - intelligent or not - my grandparents couldn't afford me and couldn't afford for me to stay on past 16 so the teachers basically bypassed me once this became know. This, with other very mentally disruptive events, decimated my ability to study and I left - admittedly with a choice of jobs - at 16, having achieved very poor results, something that I have played catch-up over ever since. I would still be attempting to study were it not for my reduce brain power and the drain on what I DO have that attempting to sort all this business out takes.

I am so glad that my Father's treatment was successful. I don't doubt that the primary driving force behind hi decision was the almighty dollar. And yet, ask him where he wants to move to (house in Canada is up for sale) and i would NEVER be here.

I am going on and on. Sorry to be so verbose.

Have to go out now so stepping away from the computer.

Hugs back to you.

NotSo

xx

[humanbean]

Run away from this guy at the earliest possible opportunity. T4 is converted into T3, not the other way around. And the patronising person who told you you can't understand the tests that were done so you would not be given a copy - words fail me. You are legally entitled to a copy of the blood test results.

Read this link and follow the links within it to find out more - it is from the Citizen's Advice Bureau site for England.

adviceguide.org.uk/england/...

[DumbBlonde in reply to humanbean]

Thank you humanbean.

And for confirming what I already though I knew - but at the time, did not want to question - T4 to T3 by loss of an iodine molecule... (not the other way round!!) But he backed this up by telling me that he (an Indian man himself) had worked in India for many years and was thus an expert of, well, something.....

The GP who would not allow me copies of my test results also made some rather spurious remarks about me on my records (yes, I have copies of them now and the blood test results, which actually show blatant anemia, most especially in the MCV and MCH combined with almost subterranean ferritin); this is a part of the both initial complaint but was added to when I saw what had been written when a different Dr left the notes open on the page with them on when he left the room to arrange an ECG (chest pains/"emergency" a few weeks ago). I felt that he was snappish and a little bit rude and couldn't figure out why. Until I read what had been noted about me.

Ridiculously, the new complaint I will be making (aided by Healthwatch) is to complain that the first complaint was not handled well/at all in fact and to raise the issue of subjective and possibly damaging comments on my record, along with continual failure to treat me and believing that referral back to someone who requested four years ago that they "keep an eye on" me is worthwhile.

Honestly, as if there isn't enough to deal with.

[gabkad in reply to DumbBlonde]

I bothered them all enough they just send me my results via email. Do they honestly think we live in a vacuum? There's plenty enough information out there for us to decipher what test results me.

Glad you have been getting your ferrittin up.

[DumbBlonde in reply to gabkad]

That is what I might try. Cannot see it being "allowed" though; I just consider myself lucky to be getting sight of them at all.

It seems that these days, the general approach is, "How LITTLE can we help you. If at all." :o(

x

[galathea]

Hi, one of the tests you weren't sure about... Will be an ana test.... It tests for antibodies to see if there is any chance of auto immune diseases. Here is a link about it. medicinenet.com/antinuclear...

The other test could be ablood urea nitrogen test? Measures kidney function.....

I always take photographs of blood test forms with my phone so I can check them out at home. I photograph them in the waiting room before seeing the nurse who does the blood draw.

Xx. G

[DumbBlonde in reply to galathea]

Thank you for the interpretation galathea :o)

I did take a photo, just as you do (and also of the the CT request form), but even when zoomed in, it was not easy to read what he had written. It would make sense that these are he tests he has asked for in line with the others :o)

xx

[Hidden]

Dumbblonde,

Why don't you just change your doctor!!!

[DumbBlonde in reply to Hidden]

It just isn't so easy :o( There is only one other Practice in the region that includes where I live in it's catchment area; have made enquiries but am very worried that it might be a case of frying pan into frying pan....

xx

[Hidden in reply to DumbBlonde]

The NHS has a site that lists GPs in each postcode area and the 'satisfaction' as rated by the patients for each practice. Not sure if it means anything. My practice got a better than 90% rating and so far, I've had no problems at all. In fact I have a gp who actually asks me to come and see her to have a chat every now and again! Pinch me, I must be dreaming...

[DumbBlonde in reply to Hidden]

Oh how lovely......

I have seen the NHS Choices entry for my Practice :o/

It has always been bad - always.....

Due to patient numbers increasing, it has got 100% worse (and both of the larger surgeries are as bad, the smaller one in the next village only sees people who live in that village). On both recent occasions when I went - one of which was was an "emergency" with chest pains - there were people queuing outside the door and any and all topics were open for discussion in front of a full waiting room (this is despite a touch screen arrival check-in system and a huge on-screen "call through to Dr" system [both recent " improvements" that regularly fail] ) with the solitary Receptionist who is still unable to look away from the screen in front of her.

Equally when calling - and there is NO choice as to which Dr you can see - a recent addition to the menu was the main Partner voice message/welcome to instruct callers that they must be ready to discuss details of their condition/reason for call with whoever answers the phone.

*tears hair out*

(oh no ^ - better not.....)

[jellynpain]

Hi Dumbblonde,

You really should change your surgery Hun. Your relations with the docs needs finishing. I had similar experience, changed gp and so pleased I did. Ask friends and family of good gp's.

Don't know if this is true but I was told complaints to gp's are pretty useless as they are basically self employed, and tight group. Unless of course there is extreme unprofessional practice then would be reported beyond.

I would say move on.

x

[DumbBlonde in reply to jellynpain]

Hi jellynpain. I know that I should - and have looked into it (this is a very large Group Practice with three Surgeries covering this small town and three adjacent villages; even when I lived in one of those villages, I came under this actual Group, worse luck).

One of my main worries is the remarks on my notes that seem to wind up any Dr I see (the chest-pains/another new Dr a couple of weeks ago is a case in point) and that is now the main reason for my complaint which, exhausting and distracting as it is, I feel I must see through otherwise nothing will change for me; they might as well have red-stamped "Hypochondriac" across my notes** instead of Top Secret....:o)

(It's not so funny really.... especially coupled with my ability to charm and win people round having now deserted me.)

xx

** I DID find out that I have been labelled (not diagnosed) as "Histrionic", which is almost worse.

[Wired]

Hi DumbBlonde (which clearly you are anything but!).

You poor thing, your post exhausted me reading it, I was right there with you snivelling and feeling the utter frustration you've had to deal with. I've nothing of real value to add to this, other than "I feel you" sister!

[DumbBlonde]

Thank you Wired :o) Your support is so welcome.

In fact, I'm not even blonde (more, hmmm - chestnut?) anymore, so the username is a total misnomer!

xx

[BeansMummy]

I have chuckled my way through this thread - I can relate to so much of it, and it isn't funny at all really, but so many of us are in the same boat.

I have so many "ologists" that I am seeing these days. There is such a wide "range" of doctors out there. Some that I see have actually talked to me on an equal level, and don't treat me as the depressed, menopausal, overweight hypochondriac that my GP seems to think I am.

With each new, proper diagnosis of a "real" illness (I seem to be collecting a few), I have an overwhelming urge to march into my GP's office sometimes, waving bits of paper, and shouting, "See? I told you that it wasn't in my head!" I think my GP only referred me because I have made such a nuisance of myself (with husband in tow to back me up). I wish she had known me when I worked full-time, very long hours, had an active social life and looked vaguely normal.

[DumbBlonde in reply to BeansMummy]

Hi BeansMum

It's so shocking isn't it? Shrugging and handwaving you away. I wish that I HAD studied medicine, it absolutely fascinates me. (How do they behave when they meet an "equal" I wonder??)

They HAVE to be generalists to an extent - but some (the majority) seem to have no answers at all. Do they really think that we just show up - REPEATEDLY - for the good of our health?? Oh- wait a minute....

I have actually taken proof with me (again, sneered at in the same way that research an Dr D-P's book was) including a fitness assessment carried out by the Ambulance Service when I applied for - and was offered - a job (with Paramedic training). This assessment showed my weight ideal/low, body fat almost too low, lung capacity, flexibility and strength to be in the top of the range and my stamina was off the scale!

But of course, that was then and this is now; they believe that I (we) have always been the way we are on the day we present in their office. I think they think that we just materialise in their surgery, have a whine and a moan and will de-materialise when we leave.

Although very sorry to hear that you are being diagnosed with various illnesses, thank God that you are and yes, I would not blame you at all for slapping the GP around the side of the head with the papers that prove you are anything BUT all of those things.

xx

[BeansMummy in reply to DumbBlonde]

When I have to visit the GP (please note, HAVE to - not "want to"), I often feel as though I am causing a problem. I have to remind myself that this person is being paid to do that job and, once, must have wanted to do that job. I am sure that they see their fair share of time-wasters, which must be frustrating, but wish that we weren't all tarnished with the same brush.

Having said this, I recently saw a different GP at my surgery (for a separate issue so didn't mind who I saw) - unbelievably, he has taken me under his wing, has taken responsibility for sorting my thyroid issues as well, and seems to actually understand thyroid-related problems, and talks to me like a grown-up. My own GP probably hasn't noticed that I haven't been back to see her.

[DumbBlonde in reply to BeansMummy]

Yep - I swear they stop just short of rolling their eyes and sighing......

Thank goodness you have found a good one!

And no doubt that your GP hasn't realised you have not been back; they don't follow up abnormal blood test readings - you don't expect them to actually NOTICE you've not been unless you were an actual DNA.....? I am still waiting an asthma follow up that should have been in - um - September (I know his because of having sight of my notes and having noted it anyway myself at the time - as you do).

Anyway, I don't have asthma - more likely anemia/thyroid - or the old D&A diagnosis - yes , thaaat's what it'll be. Ergo: No treatment needed :o/

xx

[humanbean in reply to DumbBlonde]

Some doctors don't hold back with the eye-rolling and sighing. I've had it happen to me a couple of times in recent years, and I never know how to combat such abysmal and insulting behaviour.

[DumbBlonde in reply to humanbean]

I think that they think it's acceptable - and we more or less do too.

I remember the first time a (note, not "my" - there is no such thing....) Dr shrugged at me. He also gave away something that he had written in an internal memo (which was quite funny as he realised what he had done as he read aloud from the screen) resulting in me requesting formally a copy of the memo and after reading it, refusing to see him again (and it a had started off so well.....) and moving Surgery, although not Practice so he is still on the list of Drs I might see, if I am not careful to check who I have been assigned to.

It's awful - and a sad reflection of the state of the NHS for us, the end user.

We sit there - AS a patient, BEING patient and yet most Drs seem to be IMpatient. Something wrong in that equation.

xx