down but not out ,getting ready again

Well I haven't yet achieved what I set out to do this year.BUT I am returning to the fold . I will start by reducing for the next few days and then quit.

I've sadly recently and suddenly lost my soul mate,my best friend,the father of my kids,my ex husband but my always love. We have been devastated ,my grief comes and goes . We have the funeral..his last gig..on Monday 22nd ,then i quit. I have had enough,i hate the smell,the hold it has on me,my dependency on nic,and the worry Im causing my kids especially after this with their dad. So in memory of Paul I will stub out for good.

I have been reading ,and watching all you ex smokers and say a big well done to all,stay strong ,never look back.

love to all

Jan x

7 Replies

  • I'm sorry to hear your sad news. All I can say is that there always seems to be someone around on this site who brings comfort and strength. Definitely a lot of strength on this site.


  • So sorry to hear your news. And good luck and stay srongx

  • I'm so sorry Jan, my thoughts and love are with you and your family at this sad time.

    We are all here for you and i will help you any way i can, Love and big hugs xxxxxxx

  • Hi Jan, I was sorry to hear about your loss recently. You are really such a strong person, always being there for your family, just get through next Monday then I'm sure you can get over this hurdle finally. You know we're all here to help you, keep your pecker up. :) xx

  • Morning Jan, this will be a harrowing time for you... I've been there. For the longest time everything seems to go on automatic... but, the day's pass whether we want them to or not.

    I think you're wise to leave your quit day until after Monday. I can see though, you have the determination to quit. But trust your instincts at the moment, if it doesn't feel right on the day, don't pressurise yourself. Do what feels right for you.

    I wish you well, and hope you go through Monday with strength - for you and your boys.

    Stay around here if you feel like some gentle company. Folks here are never intrusive, but are very understanding and patient... we have to be... we're all at different stages in this new way of life without the tobacco & Nicotine.

    Look after yourself, hope to see you around on here when you're ready.

    Regards, Gill, xxx

  • Thank you all for your kind words and love . Gillyflower ,that is what Im doing following my instincts and on automatic :) I will get through this,my boys are my rocks now and Im finding at the moment I just want us three together which Im sure is natural..I have some great friends,lovely family and lots and lots of Paul's beautiful songs to comfort me,as well as many many happy memories. I will quit this nic,I know I will, I keep reading how well all you lovely people are doing and its inspirational !

    you are all wonderful thank you for being here in cyber land xxx jan

  • My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Take one day at a time All my love suec xx

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