Not really sure what I'm going to write...

... Just kinda staying in touch really. So good to to read other folks generous blogs too.

I'm still smoking between two & five roll ups a day just now. I seem to have gone backwards instead of forwards. A bit sad too, as two weeks ago I'd managed to have a full 7 days without any smokes at all. I've been reading the Gillian Riley book again. Can't fault what she says - but I do get the message loud & clear, when she says, "it's totally necessary to get used to the feelings - of mental craving & obsession about tobacco smoking". If I can't stand it, and go for a smoke again - I'm still an addicted smoker.

Only by choosing, each time I light up - " do I want to smoke", or " am I Willing to tolerate the craving, for a short time", knowing for sure that it will get easier, if I don't run away and have a puff again.

I think it must be down to some sort of courage. That's twice now, in the last 9 months that I've managed to stop completely for over a week or more. What makes me think I'll ever get to that kind of Willingness again?... I might not! Then I'll have to smoke for the rest of my life... and that's a really scary thought.

I blew smoke into an empty lemonade bottle (I saw a guy do it on uTube). Watching all that smoke swirl around, just like it does in our lungs when we smoke, and even when you squeeze the bottle it doesn't all come out... Proves what a dangerous game this smoking really is.

COPD (so my Doc tells me) is really not being able to breathe out fully. To begin with, you can breathe in okay, but the air starts to get trapped in the damaged areas of the lung, so you cannot breathe it out properly, eventually you cannot breathe in enough air - or get rid of it adequately. Not a good way to try and live is it.

Oh me, that all sounds a bit dismal - and I don't mean it to be at all. Guess I'm still trying to convince me as much as anything. For all of that, I'm still concentrating on each ciggie I smoke, and not being complacent about them. My common sense knows it's pure madness to continue puffin, I just wish I could convince my head and heart to agree!

It's still been a good day though, snowy and bitter cold yet - but this too will pass - and it'll be Spring eventually!

Night everyone, and oh so we'll done to all you brilliant ex smokers tonight.. Just don't give in and be sad, and you will be, if you give in for sure. Gill, xxxx

[Fags1]

Tomorrow will bring us all a new day.

If we only spend one second of that new day smiling, then it will have brought some benefit.

if we spend two seconds smiling, then that is twice as much joy.

and so on and so forth.

Give us a smile Gill, make today worthwhile.

Night all

Dave X

[Hidden in reply to Fags1]

Ta Dave, here's a "Smile" for ya. I don't know how to get real yellow ones like yours, on this iPad thingy! Night x

[monky Administrator Cake sniffer outer]

Aup Gill

Your having a hard time gal but its all practice try to remember how you felt just before you gave in and had a rollie !!!! when did you get the releaf, rolling it or when you lit it

Erm just wondering if you would do something for me please

When you feel like a rollie, just put it off for a bit.

Then the next time you feel like one, reward yourself and have one

Then the next time you feel like one, put it off again

and again

Then the third time, reward yourself again and have a rollie

Then try to put it off till the forth time

Then the fifth time

And so on

Well am sure your getting fed up with me now so I will say good night to you, and sleep well. Pete xx

[Hidden in reply to monky]

Yep, I'll give that a good try Pete, thanks. And no, I certainly don't get fed up with you! Night, Gill, xx

[simba196 18 Months Winner]

Agree with Pete that worked for me 20 down to 15 for two weeks then longer and longer between cigs until 3 a day now stopped for 6 days Dont know whether i will give in to old nic but know if i hadnt cut down wouldnt have stoped keep trying lots of love sue x

[kevin123]

Heartbreaking Post Gillyflower.

It's only a matter of time till you pack in completely.

Your hatred of the cigarettes is the same as mine.

I've been daft for smoking for so long.

But now I am on a journey.where it ends I don't know?

I am determined to give it my best.

Come and join us next week.the only thing I will guarantee .the journey will drive you around the bend.it will give you depression but you won't be alone.

Kevin

[Hidden]

Ah, well said Kevin. For sure it's driving me nuts, maybe that's the way it has to be for a while. I only know one thing just now - I'll keep trying 'till I get there. Hard to do it sure is.. but oh so worth it. Night to you, Gill, x

[thenunn]

Gillyflower,you will get rid of nic.you really will . And I am also where you are ,maybe not quite so low but smoke wise and quit wise..i did 11 days and caved. . I have set a new quit date and havel resolved to not let nic stay in control . I know my weak points,I now know the full extent of dealing with cravings. We will get there girl x

[Hidden in reply to thenunn]

Thanks, 11 days was really good. And as folk here say - good practice. At least we know what it feels like to have those days - not smoking. When I'm being honest. It really wasn't that bad. Just me moping about it, that took me back to puffin' again. Ah well, practice seems to be the key. Good luck, & yes - we will do it, eventually. xx