Hi everyone. I've just found this site and thought I'd say a little about my problems.
I've been trying to quit at times over 20 years and each time is less successful than the last. Cold turkey and I was climbing the wall and eating non-stop, knitted 2 sweaters inj 5 days (I can't knit) then back to smoking. Tried every type of NRT, longest time without a smoke was 3 days, but that was when my husband was alive. I've tried 3 times since then, now I am completely alone, no family, no really close friends, retired, low income, can't afford to go out and it's no fun alone. I also suffer depression which I've been taking pills for since I lost my husband 6 years ago.
The last time I tried patches I only smoked 10 cigerettes a day. Tried inhalators yet again, lasted 3 hours. I now bought ecigs in desperation and they should work in theory, got everything, nicotine, something like a cigarette to hold, even 'smoke' but I still get an urge for cigarettes that drives me to the shops. I've had the ecigs for just over a week, started off with too low a dose (0.6 mg) but now have a lot of 1.2 mg cartridges plus a few 1.8 mg. They do work, no withdrawal, but I still get this irresistable urge to buy real cigarettes. I find I've now become very fussy about brand, only one will do, so I think that taste is a lot to do with it.
I did manage 20 hours with nothing but ecigs, and if I'm not smoking tobacco it has to be much better even though they aren't approved as NRT, but I just can't stop smoking a few cigarettes every day. Before the ecigs I got through 40 a day, now it's never more than 10, but that is 10 too many. I hate myself for giving in but I can't stop myself.
Maybe my reasons for quitting aren't strong enough, improved health and wallet? I think I'm also worried that my father died of lung cancer in his 70s 8 years after he'd quit smoking, have a thing in my head that if you've been a heavy smoker all your life and quit that increases risks at first. I'm in my 60s anyway so I may not be around by the time cancewr risk goes back to that of non-smokers. I may not even be around long enough for heart attack risk to drop much. I try to go to the gym twice a week but I have agrophobia and a bad back so often stay indoors doing not much but watching TV, using my computer and reading.
I've been to support groups and I've never wanted to smoke more than when I was there. The group were all couples and I was alone, I couldn't even get a 'quit buddy' for myself, I was added to one of the couples and they had each other for support. I tried one to one support and that didn't work either, so much talking about smoking and trying to stop sent me to chain-smoking again. I contacted the NHS stop smoking line the day I intended to quit but the next morning when I really needed support they were closed so I went out early in the morning and bought a pack.
In fact after only smoking 2 real cigarettes today I really need one after writing this. Just writing it makes the thought of lighting up and smoking become an pbsession.
I can't use Zyban or Champix because of medication for my back and depression.
Is there any hope for me? I'm mid-60s and smoked at least 40 a day since age 12, all my relatives were chain smokers.