Mom has lung cancer

My mother (79), a non-smoker was just diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I have been smoking for 35 years (I'm 53). I have attempted to quit dozens of times over the years, but have always relapsed. I have been smoke free for 3.5 days. I am using the patch. I'm feeling terrible guilt about my smoking history, and fear that it may be too late for me. I'm devastated and fear that I, too, will certainly have the same fate as my mother. She didn't deserve this. I don't want to let my family down again. I need your support.

14 Replies

  • Hi Nomorenomore, welcome to this lovely quit support forum and a big well done to you for taking that first initial step to quit smoking :) :)

    Soo, your 3.5 days into your quit now then, thats just great news :) :) Nomore, the patches are very good, I've used them, so if you need any advice, then you just say :)

    As for you feeling guilty, please try and not too, cos it wont alter anything :o What you are doing now, quitting the ciggies, is the best thing that you can do, just let your body clean itself out of all those nasty toxins :) Help your body by exercising, eating healthy food etc :)

    Dont even think about letting your family down, cos you just aint going to see :) :) you stick with them patches and maybe get a mouth spray, or some lozenges to help you through the hard times :)

    You are not going to let anybody down, you just keep telling yourself, WHY, you want to quit, keep drumming that into your head, WHY you want to quit :)

    Pete :)

  • Thank you so much ... Your kind words mean so much to me right now

  • Nomore, if you think back to when you started smoking, we just didnt know better, did we :o there was nobody to tell us how bad it was for us then :o

    But of course it was too late when we found out it was bad for us, cos we were all hucked on it eh :( So you havnt got anything to be guilty about :)

    We all know how hard it is to quit, myself included :o but we can do it :) and a little help goes a long long way :) :)

  • Yes, like Glolin has said, if you look to your right and up a bit, you will see the TOPICS, just click on one and have a read :)

    Please, please keep in touch with us and we will try to help you as much as we can :)

  • Hi nomorenomore and a big welcome to quit support :) :)

    Good on you for making the decision to quit smoking as it is the best possible decision you can make for your own health.

    I am sorry to hear about your mum :( :( I am sure she will be very proud of you quitting smoking.

    Have a read through of some of the information under the topics as there is a wealth of information on quitting which includes what to expect and some tips to help you along the way :) :)

    We are a friendly group who will support you every step of the way of your quit journey.

    Please don't feel guilty, you cant turn back time, all you can do is move forward and you have taken the biggest step by quitting :) :)

  • Hi nomore :-)

    My sister recently passed away with small cell lung cancer so I can relate to your anxieties.

    I smoked more when my sister was first diagnosed. She and my other sisters quit almost immediately using an Ecig, I couldn't find the strength or conviction to quit. Eventually I decided to try using an ecig, I was allergic to some ingredients and felt I couldn't keep my quit, relapsed for a bit, read Allen Care "the easy way to stop smoking" and the rest they say is history.

    As glolin says we are a friendly but sometimes mad group :-) and bring on here helped me at some of my hardest times :-)

    Take care and keep in touch


  • What a great community of caring people! I suppose we all wish we had found a way to quit in our 20s, 30s, 40s ... Better late than never. It will be nice to be a "true" nonsmoker. I have been hiding it from my children who think I quit 2 years ago. I went through a quit smoking class, but never really stopped completely. A few smokes eventually became a full relapse. I have never used this kind of support before, but it has helped me today ... Thank you all

  • I think if we all knew back then what we know now, none of us would have even started smoking. It was just what we all did. I smoked for 40 years and quit 6 months ago :) :) and honestly, this quit support group has been a tremendous help. Just knowing that everyone here is on the same journey to be either quit or remaining smoke free and more importantly understand :) :) what its like.

    We all go through different symptoms when we quit but if you have any questions, just ask as i guarantee there will be someone here who has gone through the same thing :) One thing i have learnt, is that it doesn't matter what you go through as part of your body healing, nothing lasts for too long :) :) :)

    Stay strong..and tattoo NOPE firmly in your head. Not One Puff Ever :) :)

    All the very best of luck on your quit journey :) :)

  • Hiya no more and welcome to quit support :)

    So sorry to hear about your mom and it's a very difficult time for you but you really are doing the best thing possible for your health. We all support one another on here and it really does help. It is never too late to stop smoking and you can give yourself every possible chance by doing it now. I think we all wished we had stopped or never started but we can't change the past. Lots of good advice on here and we will support you every step of the way. Nearly 4 days for you and that's brilliant,so well done :)

    Take care :) :) x

  • So sorry to hear that about your mum, I can't begin to imagine what you must be feeling but I do know there are as you probably will notice a lot of people on this lovely site will have experienced very similar experiences and myself and them want to help you through this hard time, please log on here as much as you can if you are feeling low or angry or just to read up on all the stories of triumphs over mr nic, you must be very frightened right now but you have just done the best thing you could possibly ever do for your health to quit those fags, we are all at different stages of our quits and want to support you and share our journeys. Keep strong my friend and hope we can all help you thru this x

  • Good morning Nomorenomore. I am so sorry to hear about your mum it must be devastating for you. Please do nor feel guilty, this is not down to you. Cancer is wicked, indiscriminate and cruel. Please stick with your quit as you have the greatest motivation and everyone here will help you....Lots of hugs to you

  • Hi nomore, my heart goes out to you right now but as others have said please don't feel guilty. I know it's easy to say but you really have nothing to feel guilty for and guilt can only hold you back. You're taking such positive steps forward now and should feel proud and empowered :)

    Generally there is someone lurking on the site so if you need help or support just shout. That's exactly what I did and these wonderful people helped me through.

    big hugs :)

  • Hi Nomore, everyone has already given you good advice. Best thing you can do is to quit. I quit just short of 3 years ago. All with the help of this site. Give your mum my love, I am sure she is in good hands. I too had lung cancer 2 years ago, I was fortunate in one way as they removed the whole lung and the cancer too. Luckily it hadnt spread. But I emphasise with you and your mum. xxx

  • I'm so sorry to hear about your mum,really hard for you.Can't really give anymore advice that has been given already except to say that I was a smoker of 15/20 a day for around 38 yrs & I managed to quit fairly easily (the easiest quit ever really) with an Ecig & the help of these lovely folk on here.You ABSOLUTELY CAN do this if you really want it hard enough.A life without cigs is the best life ever I promise.Good Luck & stay strong.Hugs H x

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