POSITIVE THINKING .....

I could have saved my life today

But chose not to and turned away

It isn’t that I don’t care

I have the time and I am there

I don’t want to look or seem a fool

Or argue over life’s golden rule

I’ve done this before and failed you see

I’ve called it wrong oh stupid, silly me

I am going to save my life today

So will stand my ground and hope

That my chances at a long life are that much better

By cutting out the fag forever

I know the risks – been there before

We’re all aware that closing our eyes and minds

Is not because we don’t care

We see the risk that we with others take

Please don’t walk away for fear of failing

For a chance to live long and free

Grab with both hands and come with me

Come one, come all

On this our special journey

Our path is clearly mapped and marked

To extend our lives without a shadow of doubt

Happy as we know that we have friends to support and help

We’ll laugh and we’ll sing along the way

Together as one we’ll battle with nic

So now let us together begin this our journey

Happy in the knowledge that we will succeed

Forever and all together

I actually wrote these words last night and must admit I am quite proud of how they sound and hope the meaning shines through!

I have had a ‘orrible ‘orrible time these last few days but last night something just clicked in my brain and today I am naming a day and date which is to herald a brand new me – reinvented but not too much – the blogs will continue and that is a promise.

I am not going to cancel my aka this time, I’m going to face you all and say I HAVE SINNED but not again will I do so. I AM A SINNER who has reformed and is meeting life head on and is trying, though it is very hard I must admit, to change my life – which is not easy having been like this ever since I can remember - and who is in control of my life, ME! ME! ME!

One second, then one minute, then one hour and then a whole one day at a time. Live each day as if it could be my last (hope not) and do all my living without the aid/help/crutch of a cigarette. No matter what ‘life throws at me’, I will not succumb to a cigarette and I don’t care if I put on weight, I will deal with that as and when and more importantly, if it happens. My goal is to stop smoking and I fully intend to do that come hell or high water.

All those with me please put your right hand in the air and SHOUT/YELL/SCREAM “AYEEE!!!”

Hold it there all – just give us a minute to count hands – actually there seems little point in counting as it seems that you’ve all got your hands up so that would appear to be unanimous.

Now let’s get on with the blog – no ugh’s or sighing at the back there please – you didn’t think you were going to get that lucky on my last day as a smoker - umm, hah, sorry but no as no-one is that lucky not when I am in full flow. Oh, you did? Well I’m real sorry but I am at work tomorrow so there might not be one but come the evening when I am at home and he is watching the football – watch the board you may get lucky two days in a row! OY!! OY!! Stop and desist that cheering in the front seats please – thank you.

I bet you’re all asking yourselves ‘where she’s been then?’ When I was a little girl, my Dad always answered the question ‘where have you been’ with “I’ve been to see a man about a dog” and I used to think we were getting a puppy – wrong? Nice way of telling a (nosey) little girl to mind her own business! But hey, being so young didn’t realise it at the time and was always sooooo disappointed when no puppy materialised.

I’ve actually been skulking in the background – actually the far left hand corner - with my dunce cap firmly on me head! No, not sulking – cheeky! Just got myself in a bit of a state and when I get like that I just don’t want to know anyone or anything – better that I just “vanish” so to speak as that is definitely the best way to deal with it not just for me but for everyone else as well. I’m not a nice person when I have ‘that head on’ as my other half puts it. Had a few – dare I say the word – yes, I have to – face my demons – cigarettes so there you have it. BUT, I am back and I feel ever so strong (ohhh!) – mentally but definitely not physically – and I am ready for the battle but this time I am definitely on the winning side. Taking no prisoners and am fired up and ready!!! And can’t wait to see his face when I belt him one!!! Nic that is not my other half! And can promise you that it will be very hard – actually harder than our journey – but if I hit him hard enough (possibly even with my handbag and you know us ladies – well I am a little different as I DO have the kitchen sink in mine complete with taps!) then he may just get the message.

What have I been up to today. Well, firstly I have practiced what I preached and I have straighted and folded all my plaggy bags and put them in the little plastic dustbin I keep in this, my room. I reckon that I have at least 150 minimum in this little bin and they are all nicely folded and I have loads more room for loads more plaggy bags. So that was very restful to do and I do feel better for it.

What else have I done. Now let me – aahh think – now if I could remember where I’d put my ‘to do’ list I could probably tell you. Got it, just remembered where I put it – under the neatly folded plaggy bags in the bin. Now then, let’s have a look at what I have been able to tick off as done. Yeah, plaggy bags sorted. No, not done that one, or that one either. Oh dear, I forgot all about that one and this one as well. Not marking many off, am I? Well, I’m in the process of doing that but have to keep breaking off to switch the vac on and off as himself thinks I’m spring cleaning my room! Well, we all know what thinking does for a man, don’t we ladies? He’s wrong again! Yep, that one is definitely W.I.P. (work-in-progress for the un-initiated) ‘cos that one says: “write a blog” so that’s what I’m (trying) to do. What else was on that list? Oh yes, that one will have to wait because it will take at least a day to a day and a half and as it’s Sunday afternoon already (where does the time go when one is enjoying oneself) there’s no point in starting it now. Better move that particular one to the top of a new page ready for when I write my next list of ‘to dos’.

Found one – found one! I’ve actually started and finished this one. Pulled all my knitting wool off the top shelf (actually that should be shelves but himself is not really aware of just how much I have) of all the wardrobes in both this room and our bedroom and also got it out of the 3 cupboards in the unit where I also have a stash. I’m a good girl really because not only did I pull it all out but I sorted it all and bagged it all and even put some in vacuum bags as by doing this it means that I have room for even more ‘cos vacuum bags make it look a lot less than there actually is. I have even managed to list it all so I know exactly how much of each sort, ply, colour, etc., etc., I actually have and I have a total weight of it all as well and just to prove that I’m not fibbing, I have a grand total – excluding what is in the loft, of course – of 35300 grams or 35.3 kilos or approximately 98 lbs in old money or 40 x 2 lb bags of sugar. Now that should keep me out of mischief and going for a while. Good job himself doesn’t know that I’ve got this much on the living floor of our bungalow as I dread to think just how much there is in the loft as I’m pretty certain that there is more ‘upstairs’ than down! Mind you having said that, he must have a rough idea of just how much there is up there as he jokingly (?) said the other day if our bedroom ceiling collapsed with the weight of it all he would be the first person in history to have their death recorded as ‘drowned in knitting wool’. He could be right on that as I’ve not heard of it happening before!

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I think I should use one of these pics as my ‘image’ what do you think? Cast your votes online now!! Unless of course someone finds something even more suitable!!!

Now that I have mastered (I think and hope) posting pics on my blogs, here’s another for you in case you missed it earlier on. This one has the title “I BWOKE MY EAR” and I love it and am seriously thinking of using is as my screensaver on my pc as that face is just so …………. Appealingly cute. Well, sure you know what I mean.

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Well, I have definitely waffled for long enough and bless his little cotton socks, he’s not just washed up but dried up and put away too, isn’t that sweet. Now I have to ask, what is he after this time?!

Will now leave you in peace to enjoy the rest of your Sunday and catch you all later.

Q day tomorrow for me – Monday, 13th May, 2013 – I wonder how often that happens 13/05/13 and backwards 13/05/13 or truly backwards 31/05/31 which in 2031 will be a real date! That believe it or not is only 18 years away and I will be nearing 80 – hope I’m still here!

Come the end of the week, I will be asking EmJay to put me up (yet again) on the Wall of Winners and this time I will be staying there – and that is a promise I’ve made to myself and one I definitely, positively, intend to keep.

Off to walk my dogs now as it’s not raining at the mo so take care everyone and hopefully catch you all later.

Luv and hug and a big

Kath

[sue52 3 YEAR WINNER]

Yeh go for it Kath, you'll get there one day at a time, I think you should use some form of NRT as well, it really will help.

I think the puppy should be the screen saver, it's just soooo cute xx

[monky Administrator Cake sniffer outer]

Kath, I have had umpteen try's at quitting the smokes, but have failed so far, but I aint going to stop trying gal, cos I want to quit and i know I will do it with the help of all these lovely people on here

You too can do it, with every bodies help on here

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Good luck for tomorrow's quit. One day at at time eh?

[veecatz 2 YEAR WINNER]

Hi there,

I'm pretty new to this site, but I can understand where your head is at the moment, wow - go for it. I too feel that going 'cold turkey' would be extra hard. Those spray mist nicotine thingies work for me - along with my e cig. From some of the answers I have received - I was running before walking. If I just stay off the fags for 1 hour , minute, second at a time it doesn't matter what I have to use in the beginning to keep it that way. I will sort the NRT out later. Sadly - I've been smoking 43 years and I really don't want to spoil my progress as a non - smoker by doing without the nicotine at this present moment. I have listened to the other guys on here and they seem to be right, in my opinion. At least the answers make sense to me. If I've been at it 43 years - it doesn't matter how long I'm on the NRT. couldn't have managed to get to my 34th day without it. Countless attempts and failures, but I have decided that the first fag would set me off, so if I don't have the 1st - can't have the 2nd 3rd etc etc!! Stick at it and be kind to yourself. You can do anything but smoke a ciggy. Vee

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You have to reaaly want to quit smoking before you will one day succeed at doing so.

Even for healthy people quitting can be so, so difficult.

I note you have previously written about an ongoing health problem that you are being prescribed medication for. Maybe you should seek the advice of your medical advisor to talk about the merits, or otherwise, of quitting at this difficult stage of your life? I know some GP's that advise against giving up smoking until certain medical conditions are resolved.

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OK, so we are well into the 13th now and I was wondering if you have managed to put the intentions contained both in your long post and others brief replies of encouragement/ advise into positive action?