It’s Been A While

[MJCA]

Sorry I am unloading here because some of you guys will understand. I was diagnosed 19 years ago at age 45. I was single then. Life was okay for a while. Then lupron kicked in. I have had no libido for 18.5 years. I’m an only child, Mom passed 23 years ago and I lost Dad 2 years ago. One month after Dad passed, I found out PCa had spread to my bones.

My parents left me comfortable; I was hoping to travel, alone - but still travel. In 2023 I went through 8 cycles of docetaxel which robbed my body of a lot. Unfortunately, docetaxel did not work. Now it has spread to my lymph nodes. Three months after finishing chemo, I went on Pluvicto. A new PSMA-PET shows Pluvicto is working!

This is great! But, I have NO life. Most friends have moved away. For more than one year, I have had to use a rollator to get around. These meds have robbed me of my strength, balance, libido, independence and my dignity.

I am so very much alone. My goal is to gain my strength and be able to travel, but it would be great to have someone to share my travels with. I crave for some company, but I don’t have the libido as a gay man expects.

If you have gotten this far, thanks so much for reading.

[Tall_Allen]

Are there Gay Senior living facilities in your area?

[MJCA in reply to Tall_Allen]

I have no clue. I own the house with a distant cousin plus his partner lives with us. It’s weird being the third wheel, but I am not moving!

[Tall_Allen in reply to MJCA]

I know the one in LA has lots of activities - one doesn't have to live there.

[MJCA in reply to Tall_Allen]

Thanks. I will check it out here!

[jimreilly]

Making new friends as the old ones die and move away (that's what happens when you're the survivor) is a need; Many friends went to AIDS years ago, more to Covid more recently, plus plenty of other things. Most of my new ones for the last 20 years or so have been in French language groups, but that's because French is an interest of mine. I also have not completely retired, and keep meeting new people through work. When I travel it's alone, which I don't mind (I do have friends in Europe, too, once I'm there). But groups who are involved with things you're interested in--whether intellectual, social, or volunteer service groups--are a great help. Here's to the best recovering your strength!

[MJCA in reply to jimreilly]

Merci beaucoup. Je parle un peu français aussi.

[spencoid2]

Since your libido is gone welcome the opportunity to make new friends of all sorts without obsessing about sex or letting it get in the way of a potential friendship. I am married to a man who also has low libido so that part works out OK. Although I do have gay friends I find that I am making more non gay friends online who share common interests.

I would be interested in meeting other old gay men for companionship without sex, but there are no gay groups in my area as the population is too sparse.

[MJCA in reply to spencoid2]

Thanks for your response!

[bcskibdy]

MJCA--I am less comfortable traveling alone than I used to be. I don't know how to do direct contact through the site, but I am happy to at least talk about the idea of getting out together. I'm a pretty experienced traveler and a very patient, open guy. if there's a way to contact me directly, please do.

bill

[MJCA in reply to bcskibdy]

Hi Bill,

That sounds cool. I am somewhat well traveled - at 16 went on a 6 week bus tour around the US. At 18, me and a buddy backpacked through Europe for 2 months. Been to Europe numerous times, Sydney, Bali and Singapore. Plus a bit of Canada - I am a dual citizen. I want to see central Europe and Asia. Drop me an email: [e-mail]

Thanks,

Mark

[SarcoPenyaJr]

If you lived near me, I'd say "Let's have lunch right now!" Kudos to you for reaching out and coming up with a creative approach to your situation. I hope you do get to go on those trips!

[MJCA]

Thanks! We’ll see what unfolds in the next couple of months!