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Tips on explaining chronic pain to family?

Orange8 profile image
15 Replies

Hello all,

I’ve been taking painkillers longterm for my chronic pelvic pain while I’ve waited for and recovered from procedures, and now while I wait for laparoscopy for endometriosis. But completely unexpectedly, I found myself in an intervention with my whole family the other day. 😳 Apparently they think that I’ve been taking them for too long and haven’t been honest with them about how many I take. I thought it was a joke at first, since I’ve assured all of them that I take less than what was prescribed and only for really bad pain when it hurts to walk. I guess they just associate painkillers with the opioid crisis in the U.S., and believe that if you take them, you must have a problem. I was trying to defend myself as they questioned everything: my diagnoses, symptoms, doctors, pain itself, etc. :( The whole thing was really sad, so I’m wondering if anyone here has any tips (or good resources to send to people) so that they might better understand chronic pain, treatment for it, etc. Thanks in advance! 🙏

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Orange8 profile image
Orange8
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15 Replies
BlueLagoon007 profile image
BlueLagoon007

Hi,I don't know whether this short YouTube video will help explain pain to your family. My family found it very helpful. It is very hard living daily with chronic pain as it is an invisible condition that a lot of people do not understand

Take care

youtu.be/TzzXaXqnaro?si=a7A...

When watching the video clip you have to press on "skip" advertisement then hopefully it should work 🤞

Orange8 profile image
Orange8 in reply toBlueLagoon007

Thanks, BlueLagoon007! 🙏

CockeyMoor profile image
CockeyMoor

Your pain relief is your business. Sorry to hear your family have no comprehension/ compassion about what you are going through. You don’t need to justify yourself to anybody. What a terribly sad situation that the people you love are calling you to task. Just reassure them you know all about opioid addiction and are in charge of your own body.

I was a Pharmacist and if the GP or Pharmacy had any concerns they would withhold medication etc..and discuss.

Don’t suffer trying to please others. If you need pain relief , take it.

Heaven forbid a family member ever feels chronic pain. So sorry for you. Show my message and many other replies you will now get of support.

Good luck with your procedures and hopefully you can find out what is wrong and may not need as much pain relief in the future. Your family are basically telling you to suffer? So wrong of them to gang up on you.

Orange8 profile image
Orange8 in reply toCockeyMoor

Thanks for your support, CockeyMoor. 🙏 It means so much right now!

Meze profile image
Meze

It's your body so you must do what you feel is right. My family did not understand- even my husband after many explanations.I had counselling to help me and my sister in law and other friends who gad been through similar experiences were invaluable.Be firm.Put yourself 1st.

Love Sarah xx

Orange8 profile image
Orange8 in reply toMeze

Thanks, Sarah. 🙏 Much appreciated!

ColonLess profile image
ColonLess

Can I ask how what opioid you take, and your daily dosage?

I am prescribed 40mg daily of oxycodone, along with a fentanyl patch. Medical marijuana is also available to me, but I rarely use that. I have been on this regimen for 7 years, and my doctor assures me it will be for the rest of my life.

I suffer from chronic abdominal adhesion pain, which is often debilitating. It is a result of several laparotomies, including colon re

ColonLess profile image
ColonLess

Sorry.... Somehow while typing, myse message ended.

Including colon resection. I tolerate the painkillers quite well. I do not abuse them, and function quite well with them. Without the oxys, I would miss out on daily activities, including golf, bicycling and shopping.

Here in the USA, many believe we have an opioid crisis. That's not true of most people using medically pre

ColonLess profile image
ColonLess

Sorry. My message again suddenly ended. I will try again.

.... That's not true of most people using medically prescribed opioids. The vast majority of us are responsible people using our prescriptions properly. The crisis involves people purchasing illegal street drugs, much containing dangerous fentanyl. A few begin their addiction with prescribed painkillers, but that is not the norm.

Your use of painkillers is between you and your doctors. Unless you are somehow abusing your meds, I don't see how it is anyone's business. I wish the best for you, and hope your pain is temporary.

Orange8 profile image
Orange8 in reply toColonLess

Thanks, ColonLess. 🙏 Sorry to hear about your pain, too. :( I’ve been prescribed oxycodone (3 a day at 5mg each, so 15mg total). I often only take two a day if the pain is manageable, so 10mg per day. But even on this low dose, prescribed by a doctor, my family thinks that I am abusing opioids and am addicted, and that the painkillers are “destroying” my body, “slowly killing me,” etc. :( I try to explain that I take them for severe pain, and to be able to still have a somewhat good quality of life (being able to take a short walk, for example, instead of being in bed suffering in pain). But as most of us here probably know, it’s hard to explain chronic or severe pain to people who have never had it themselves. Rather than try to convince them that the oxy is helpful right now as I await procedures, or try to change their minds about painkillers, I unfortunately have had to take a step back from sharing information about my health with them. Seems like my best option right now, as I don’t want to have to keep defending myself and my use of painkillers with my own family. A sad situation, but I’m learning that I need to just take care of myself, and not add extra stress to the situation. ;) Thanks again for your support! :)

CherylVacc profile image
CherylVacc

Oh my, sorry to hear this. I've had chronic pain for 30+ years, 10 years with no meds, 7 years with Tramadol twice daily, and since the USA has made it difficult for doctors to prescribe pain meds, I now take Kratom 6 times a day. Kratom is made from a leaf of a Indonesian evergreen tree, and though that sound good, there are no studies on what I will experience over time, being no long-term side effects are known. So, am I better off, who knows. All I know is my quality of life was fabulous while on Tramadol, now I am a slave to a pain product that I have to watch the clock and take every 3 hours, and it cost approximately $300 a month compared to my $5 co-pay. Tramadol was not even considered a narcotic back when I started taking it in 2014, but then listed as such in 2017, due to people abusing it. We're with you, heart and soul.

Karen1954 profile image
Karen1954 in reply toCherylVacc

Hi Cheryl! I think we’ve talked before but I have another question about kratom!! What kratom do u take and how much? I’ve tried a couple of the red ones but they do nothing!!! I’m on opioids for pain and might be the rest of my life but not due to abusing drugs as I have severe chronic rectal and perineal pain and NOTHING has helped at all!!! I’m running out of options!!! I would appreciate u letting me know about which kratom and how often? Thank u so very much!!!

CherylVacc profile image
CherylVacc in reply toKaren1954

Karen, if you have access to opioids, Kratom will not be your answer. But if you were like me and had your prescription canceled (after 7 years) and was looking for anything that could possibly give you some relief, Kratom could work. I do feel the red Kratom works best for pain. Its been so long (8 years) since I had access to opioids, I forget how great they work (if they work for you). Sorry to hear about all your pain, I feel for you.

Karen1954 profile image
Karen1954 in reply toCherylVacc

I did try the red kratom and it did nothing!!! I’ve tried Oxy and fentanyl patches and they don’t work!!! I don’t know anymore!!!!

Orange8 profile image
Orange8 in reply toCherylVacc

Thanks so much, CheeylVacc! 🙏 So sorry to hear about your pain…no fun at all. Hang in there! Sending hugs. Xoxo

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