Vulvic pain - Lichen Sclerosis and Vaginismus have been diagnosed but I'm unsure if that's all I have or if I have other conditions too.

[ESWright]

I wanted to share my story with people. I am 28 and with the same boyfriend that I lost my virginity with three years ago and I am in pain every time we have sex so i rarely enjoy it. It is hard to talk, I find that talking about it makes my self esteem take a huge hit but I had to work through the low self esteem until now myself and my partner can be totally open. I still have moments when I feel down about it but talking through it does help a little. Early on I didn't want to talk about it as admitting to it is admitting that there is a problem and I don't want to give in to that thought. Those were the type of feelings I had and I still fight them.

After 9 months of regular sex, thinking that all my pain was 'normal' losing virginity stuff I got fed up and saw my GP who referred me to the psychosexual team where I received counselling. It was suggested I come to my first session alone, so that I can be open with the counsellor but I asked my boyfriend to come to the second. It really helped as he talked about his feelings and he was able to find out how to help me. I was totally open with them both and it helped me too. She gave us a lot of advice and things to try. I am at a point now where I am happy to discuss anything if anyone asks. If you want to know what was suggested please feel free to ask me. I was also given a homework of using dialators every week to open me up.

As I bled every time after intecourse I was sent to a skin specialist who examined me and diagnosed Lichen Sclerosis (if you haven't heard of that my immune system has attacked my skin and it doesn't have enough elasticity so I tear with every penetration). So was told to use steroid cream along with the dialators.

After a year of the steroid and dialators only having a slight helping effect I was referred to a gynaecologist who disagreed with the other specialist and diagnosed Vaginismus. She examined me and said I don't have LS and was of the opinion that intercourse should be possible. I just need to teach my body that sex is not painful. I was told to stop the steroid and use Lidocaine to numb the area before sex. I've been using this for eight months with no improvement. It has not been the case that intercourse is possible as I still split every time. I saw the gynaecologist in Sept and was supposed to have a six month follow up in March. This follow up has been rescheduled four times and I'm now feeling like I've been forgotten.

I think I could have both conditions as LS would explain the tearing and as I expect pain and tense up, I could have Vaginismus too. I'm so frustrated with all of this. My boyfriend is so supportive, he never complains even though I have to ask him to stop after a very short amount of time and he never gets an orgasm. I'm the one that feels frustrated and there are times when I feel very down about it. It's been three years and it's not getting easier. He has said he can see how it affects my self esteem and he does simple things to show me he is with me for me and not for sex. He does sweet, tender things like lies with his head in my lap and when we curl up together he places his head on my chest to listen to my heart beat. Those intimate things that make you feel closer without it leading anywhere.

I hope that there are other avenues that I can try but I am worried that this might not be the case. I'm open to advice from anyone and I'd like to connect with others who are going through the same or similar things even if you don't have any advice to give.