20 year old, need help

Hi! I'm 20 years old and very worried. I was diagnosed with having pudendal nerve damage about 3 months ago. but I can't understand if it's caused by the muscles or ligaments. I was very embarassed to tell the doctors how it started so I signed up here. I really hope nobody will judge me because it's very embarassing. (it helps being anonymous though)

I was with a guy I really liked but didn't trust much. So during foreplay (still in my undies) when his penis got really hard it hurt so much I pushed him away. The next week we tried again but of course he was beginning to get impatient and rubbing his penis reallyyyy hard. But everytime either emotionally or physically he would hurt so we couldn't have sex. And the third time he treated me like shit, but I was madly in love so didn't realize it until later, and I think I strained a lot, so the pain started. And it's been unbearable. I've been to so many doctors and it's obvious that I have nerve damage (thanks to MRN). But I still can't figure if that contact (the term being humping - so sorry) can cause true entrapment. I mean can sex cause PNE? can it harm ligaments?

22 Replies

  • First of all I am very sorry you are suffering physically and emotionally. My heart goes out to you being so young with this ailment. I have pudendal neuralgia so I understand. I want to encourage you to be totally honest with your doctors so they can help you as much as possible; and I don't judge you and am glad you reached out here. It can be difficult to talk about something that is so private and intimate, but perhaps they could help you if they knew about your experience. A lot of times a good PT can help with tight pelvic muscles that contribute to the pain. You could go to pudendalhope.com and look for one in your area. I wish you the very best outcome.

  • Thank you so much for your kind answer:) I hope it's just about tight muscles and nothing about ligaments. No one seems to know

  • Dear 20 year old. I'm glad you are getting quite a few responses. Please remember, all of us are caring, compassionate people, but none of us are doctors and are sharing our personal experiences/opinions, but you are unique to your own experience and history. So again, sharing what you have shared with us with your doctors is extremely important and will give them everything they need to treat/direct you the best they can. Just think of us as a dry run. You were brave and did that and were received with compassion and I believe your doctor will respond the same way. They are professionals and will understand. The pudendal nerve is suppose to glide through the tissues, muscles, ligaments, etc. When it has been injured in some way and has inflammation/swelling, it doesn't glide properly and it becomes a viscous cycle. A good PT could examine and evaluate you and determine if you have trigger points and/or tight muscles and release them in various ways. Also, the pudendal nerve block that was suggested would be another good suggestion. As she shared it is most useful for diagnosing. Few, if any get permanent relief, but again, everyone is different. If you are in the states and want the name of my doctor and the doctor that trained him. I would be happy to share that with you. I have pudendal nerve interstim implants that have helped a lot with the pain. Lifestyle changes like not sitting anymore than absolutely necessary is important too. It sounds like you were diagnosed very quickly which is important to keep in mind. Most of the people here weren't diagnosed for years, so I would think your recovery chances are much better. Praying God directs your steps to complete recovery.

  • I wouldn't think it could cause ligament damage. Also, if I could offer you a tip: it's important to let the doctor know how it started so they can diagnose (history is the most important means of diagnosis for PN pain), but at the same time, it's not necessary to give them details about the relationship. Simply say it started with intercourse or your guy's penis rubbing hard externally on your clitoris.

    I'm confused about whether you had intercourse or just external sex and whether it hurt right away the first time when it was external and also what you mean by straining. Make sure you clarify this for the doctor so he/she can diagnose. Anyway, it does not sound like entrapment the way the pain started. Usually entrapment comes from a botched surgery likena hysterectomy or pelvic mesh op. It sounds (from what I can make out) like he pressed too hard on the parts where your pudendal nerve runs and now it's irritated. Hopefully the pain will lessen in time.

  • I didn't have intercourse, it was just external. Can it be irritated because of a tight muscle? Or does it get irritated and cause muscles tighten? A confusing question but feels important to have an idea:)

  • In your case, it sounds like the nerve just got very irritated and inflamed from the trauma put against it. It doesn't sound like a muscle was the cause (however, when we have pain, we involuntary tighten our muscles so it is possible that now you also have tight muscles). You might look into getting a pudendal nerve block with a steroid to help with inflammation. Normally, pudendal blocks are only good as a diagnostic tool, but because your case is different (irritated and inflamed by injury), it may actually treat you, too. At least ask your doctor and see what he says. You should also go to a women's physiotherapist just in case you have tight pelvic muscles.

  • Sorry for being so straight to the point but pudendal nerve has three main branches that control the feeling in your bladder bowel and vagina so have you no feeling in these places or what is your symptoms?x

  • Hi, my only symptom is I have extreme pain when sitting. But extreme. I have no other problems. No bowel, no constipation or problems with orgasm.

  • Where is the pain is it in lady part? Perhaps he has damaged the nerve honey or its maybe shunted stuff back. X for what it's worth I hope ur OK but the others are right your gp will have seen almost everything best to be honest they will be able to help you better if you are x

  • What test have your doctors and gynaecologist done to confirm that diagnosis. I myself have a severed pudendal nerve due to an extremely rough forceps delivery and have been pin pricked and had a ping test where they send impulses to the nerve and wait to hear it ping off of the nerve.x can I ask have you had children already

  • No no, I haven't. Actually I haven't even had intercourse.

    I hope you'll get better. This is a very hard condition.

    I had an MRN and they say that it's obvious that one pudendal nerve is thicker than the other.

  • Your nerves could be irritated but probably not entrapped yet. depressing and urgency of something hard roping in that area can certainly cause inflammation.

  • Hello, do they get entrapped over time? Does it eventually get entrapped?

  • No, they don't get entrapped over time. I don't know why that person wrote "yet." It's either entrapped or it's not and in your case I really doubt it from how the pain started.

  • thank you you're very kind, I feel a little better now. So irritation and inflammation aren't the same as entrapment? Wow I thought they meant the same thing. My report writes I have a thicker right pudendal nerve.

  • Entrapment literally means "trapped", like between ligaments. So, not the same as irritated.

  • Wondering how you are doing now. Have you had any treatments? New diagnoses?

  • Hello, thanks for asking:) I'm on Neurontin and Cymbalta right now. I asked the person who wrote the MRN report if he knows whether its PNE or PN and he said in my case it's probably caused by muscles, but that there's no way of knowing for sure. So I'm waiting:) I try to manage stress, because I read somewhere that chronic stress and anxiety can cause pelvic pain. I've always been very stressful. And perhaps being heart-broken caused spasms, I don't know :)

    How are you?

  • If you felt uncomfortable with him , when you feel in a tense uncomfortable situation it can effect your pelvic muscles as you are tensing up

    Nobody should be pushy with you to have any kind of sex, whether it is as yours was or whether it was full intercourse, I would not have anything more to do with him if he cannot respect you and your body

    I should think he was or is adding o your stress , so sorry to sound harsh but ditch him , you are not with the right person, he seems more interested in himself

    The pelvis and the stomach are the first things to tense up in the body when anyone is stressed

    It is always hard to pinpoint what traps a pudendal nerve, it is a very complex area , it could be numerous things unfortunately

    But being with someone as uncaring as that guy seems to be will only be adding to your anxiety and tenseness

    Get rid and then you will eventually find yourself a decent guy and then you should feel less stress and tension in general sweetie

  • Hello, thank you so much for trying to help me:) I stopped seeing him that very day actually but my pain never left. I really do hope it's not entrapment but pain caused by tense muscles. I am trying very hard not to be stressed and hear anything about that guy but my best friend sees him all the time, so I try to forgive and forget:) I use a lot of medication and my doctor wants to try pudendal block which will I hope diagnose the problem even better:)

  • Hi 20yearold, I was wondering if a few months on your condition has improved at all? I had a similar incident happen to me just over a week ago and I have the same symptoms as you. I haven't had a scan yet and I'm seeing an osteopath in 2 days time, but I'm hoping it is an irritated nerve that will heal. Has yours healed and are you now pain-free? I hope so!

  • Hello, I'm so sorry to hear about you condition! This is a terrible thing.

    Unfortunately I'm not any better. I had another surgery 3 weeks ago and hopefully I'll get beetter eventually.

    Yours is pretty new, so I think early diagnosis will help you a lot!

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