I have been having severe pain in my lower abdomen and it always hurts to have sex. Help?

[Mandy-713]

I was diagnosed by a doctor 2 years ago after surgery that i have something called uterine venous congestion but i do not feel that is it and i am scared to get a second opinion since i live in a small town and i dont know where else to go or who else to see or what to do. This pain just doesn't feel right and it REALLY hurts to have sex and i bleed right after (so i havent in 11 months cause i dont enjoy being i that kind of pain). I am always in mild to severe pain in my abdomen. Sometimes it's the right side but mostly the left. Please help cause i do not know what to do anymore

[Jazzwoman]

I am sorry to hear you are in so much pain but it is your right to get a second opinion. If you are unhappy with your diagnosis you can ask your doctor to see another consultant at a different hospital. If you are in England the Choose and Book system gives you the opportunity to choose where you want to go. Or find a specialist on the net and asked to be referred. Good luck.

[Mandy-713 in reply to Jazzwoman]

Well I live in Ontario. And in a small town here as well. So there is not many places to get a second opinion

[Hopeful15 in reply to Mandy-713]

Hi Mandy-713, I like you now suffer from chronic pain in the pelvic area. Mine has been caused by the bits inside knitting into each other after surgery. I was rushed through key hole surgery to separate most of the adhesions but some were just too dangerous to touch. I have noticed that certain foods trigger the pain, as well as heavy exercise, lifting, stress and anxiety (the core tends to constrict itself when you are stressed) and sex. It means that I have had to change the way I live my life. In the first instance listen to your body and see what might trigger the severity of pain you suffer. Two, try to relax. Easier said than done, I know, but learn how to breathe properly and deeply, learn to meditate, you could even try self hypnotherapy - there are plenty of audiobooks you can download from the internet about mindfulness and pain management. This will help - even if to give you space to be clear of all of the thoughts and fears bombarding your brain. I'm also finding accupuncture very beneficial. If you don't have a chinese herbalist in town, ask a chinese neighbour where they see a doctor - they will most probably have someone that they can refer you to. I know it's difficult. I understand completely. You might not believe me yet but you are brave. You do need to keep talking and communicating with your partner. Sex is painful and sometimes mine won't touch me if he sees I'm even in the slightest discomfort but there are ways to be together without having the kind of penetrative sex that will cause you to bleed. You are a resourceful woman and if your partner loves you, as I'm sure that they do, the two of you will be able to come up with some scenario which allows you to love each other and be loved in return. If for nothing else, to help you keep mentally and emotionally strong for your journey together. Finally, you are going to have to find another doctor and this will probably mean leaving your small village in the middle of nowhere and travelling for a short while somewhere else. It's great living in the sticks but when it comes to getting the best healthcare we all have to travel to the big cities. Research which hospitals nearest to you specialise in pain and/or gyneacology and make an appointment to get checked out on both grounds as soon as possible. You may have to stay in a motel for a few nights, but what price sorting this pain out or at least finding the answers you need to get on with the rest of your life in the best way you can? Don't sit there. You have to take 100% responsibility for what is happening to you. It can feel like a sad reality of life to have to do so, but you are strong, you have courage and you deserve to have a good life. You will feel empowered when you decide to take control of what is happening to you and decide definitively to do something about it. You are a resourceful woman and you will find the answers that you seek. Take action now and let us know how you get on. If you don't nothing will change. Your future is in your hands and there is a big world out there full of everything you need. You just need to go find it. Good luck. If you need another pep talk to get you moving, please don't hesitate to let me know Life is wonderful. Enjoy it.

[Mandy-713 in reply to Hopeful15]

Thank you so much for that. You have a very kind heart and full of wisdom. I like that. I am going to be going to a doctors next week and they are going to be referring me to a obgyn who is apparently the best. So fingers crossed. I will let you know what happens and how this goes.

[Hopeful15 in reply to Mandy-713]

You've made me very happy. Best wishes and yes please do stay in touch and let me know how you get on. We all need someone to understand. We can lean on each other