pain and depresson

i know theres lots of other people in pain and yes it gets me down the way i feel is not good i have lower dpain my lower 4th and 5th spine bits are knackard both legs i have knees that need replaceing i also have motornorothy in both legs i have breathing problems at night i have to use a breathing machine as to keep me breathing as my brain does not respond and i stop breathing in my sleep and to top it all off i have been haveing problems with my shoulders i have had xrays done and both sides have had it bone on bone and my whole body just hurts all the time im on loads of meds morphine and many more i fed up with the pain and im just being a burden to my wife and kids i love them with all my heart but i still keep haveing really bad thoughts in my head i am on high dose antidepression meds but they dont work i have tried lots im 47 years old and im ready for the glue factory im so sorry im writeing like this but i have to tell someone as im going out of my mind i feel useless as a man due to all my illnesses why do i feel like this i feel like im going nuts i even thought about jumping off the humber bridge the other week as a freind joked he was gonna do it but now i carnt get that thought out of my head sorry if people think im a stupid man but im only being true to what i say thankyou for reading this if anyone can help me feel a little better about myself please help manythanks and love to all love dave

8 Replies

  • Hi Dave, sorry you are feeling so low and trying to manage all this pain.Its natural for you to feel down at times when you are coping with chronic pain and many of us will have had similar thoughts.However suicidal thought should NEVER be ignored.It is important you see a doctor soon and tell them how you feel to get the necessary help.The Samaritans are an excellent organisation to talk things through with particularly during the night when you can feel alone.The number in UK is 08457 909090.I have rung them myself before now and it just helps to know a safety net is there if you need it.

    Do you go to a pain clinic? If not that would be a good place to start.Your medication is obviously not doing you much good so maybe a good overall of them is needed.

    Remember real men cry too,! You love your wife and children with all your heart so that puts you way above many men i know.

    Please get some help and we are all here for you.Keep talking to us , god bless you x

  • Did the same to me. You've broken it!!!!!!!

  • My heart goes out to you. I do personally know how pain can drag one down, both physically and emotionally. have you let yourself actually talk to your family, your GP, your nurse, consultant, or any of them about the way you feel? I was a Samaritan for a few years and I can tell you honestly, talking to someone about all your feelings truly can be a great relief, and it 's all confidential. Also, if your family don't know and your doctor doesn't know how can they help you cope? Try and imagine how they would feel if you did commit suicide and they only learned afterwards how down you were feeling...they would blame themselves that they hadn't been able to be supportive. Keep posting, be open about your feelings - don't be ashamed of them!! TALK to your friends and family and your local surgery.....and do try ringing Samaritans (their lines are open 24 hrs a day at the cost of a local call) Your family would not want you to feel alone in all of this. They don't want you to suffer either physically or mentally, so try and start finding out if you can get better help as far as pain management goes, ask about your medication, keep questioning and explaining your feelings. Sorry I probably sound like a nag-bag, don't mean to be, but I seriously want you to share your pain with those that love you and everyone on this site and most importantly with your doctors. Take care - you will be very much in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Hello Dave - I'm married to a Dave - except he's a David! Good name. You meention the Humber bridge. Used to live near there in what was the old East riding of Yorkshire. Beautiful party of the country but not good to think about jumping off the bridge.

    Chronic pain and depression are married and joined at the hip. Never get one without the other. Every person on this forum suffers CP and depression in varying degrees and we all give each other support. Sometimes someone needs a bit more and that's where the pain clinic comes in. Maybe a review of all your drugs? believe it or not sometimes less is more and by jiggling them around, offering alternative therapy they come up with a workable cocktail.

    There used to be a damned good pain clinic at Scarborough under Dr Jones.

    You love your family and certain they love you. You also yearn for the days when you could do things. Wah the car. Walk with your lids. Even wash up for your wife! That has gone and that is often what you miss. It is easy to say move forward bu oh so difficult to do.

    See your GP tell him your fears and worries. He can put you in touch with those specially trained to help. And yes Samaritans are 24 hr. Things always seem worse at night.

    Gppd Luck and we are always here if you need to shout and a hand to hold

    Pat x

  • Hi Dave I haven't got much to add as it has all been said in the posts before me.The one thing I do agree with though is pain and depprestion do go hand in hand,also Ido think it's good to talk and to cry,I've shed many a tear on my husbands shoulder,just because your a man don't be afraid to cry on your wife's shoulder,it does help release all the tension and feelings. Do try and talk to people especially your wife just like the people above said,and when you feel a little down talk to us.We are all in a similar situation so we can understand you.Untill we here from you again here's a bit of love and Hug.Keep strong your family loves you .

  • Pain and depression do go hand in hand, it's true.

    I've had the same thoughts as you Dave and it is hard. You feel as if nothing is going to change and nothing can help.

    I have been lucky as I visited my GP who has started me on anti depressants and while my mood remains low I have stopped having suicidal thoughts.

    I have pictures of my loved ones that I carry around with me and list of reasons to keep going if I start feeling that low again.

    Your family love you and no amount of pain or feeling like a burden will change that.

    We're here for you if you ever need anyone to reach out to.

    Stay strong, there is always a tomorrow and it could always get better.

  • Continue to be positive despite what you are experiencing right now. Gradually, you will get over it, especially that you undergo a series of treatments. For your depression, you need someone who will listen to you and will comfort you anytime you need it. And continue to be strong for the treatments you receive. If you want something that will help you get better, try wearing the magnetic and copper bracelet. It can provide you several health benefits.

  • I feel the same. Why am I here going through all this rubbish. In1988 I had a similar problem and jumped from a high building with the hope that I would die. Instead I had multiple injuries and still had the original complaint. I'm not saying give up wanting to end the suffering but there could be a better way.

    Are there things you could work towards achieving? What did you want to do before everythin went wrong? Did you want to paint or travel? These sorts of things are still possible. How about painting a picture for your family?


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