fed up with pain

hi im a man well i was until i got ill my knees have had it my back has had it my shoulders have had it too i have worked hard most of my life working on landfill sites where i was treated like crap and made to do jobs that no one else would do i have done many heavy lifting jobs coal man ,fair ground worker ,worked on a circus, i feel less as a man now as i carnt do anything and i feel very very low im on 35 tablets a day pain killers morphine and lots more im near 50 years old how the hell people carry on im ready for the glue factory i have nasty thoughts every day about my life wish my life would get better but i know it wont well what else can happen to me what will the next day bring sorry for sounding off im just fed up with everything i used to be a strong man but im no longer that man and i feel useless and costing the nhs money i was always a giver not a taker sorry rant over hope all of your heath problems get a little better for you all again sorry i have moaned about my life but all i have really is my laptop lol love to you all talk to you all soon thanks dave

18 Replies

  • Hi digglepants,You are still a man you are just a man in pain your manhood is not how much work you can do Its how much character you have you have worked very hard all of your life, you are not a burden on anyone you are some one who now needs medical attention Please don't judge yourself on how strong you were and how weak you have become that's what happens when we become ill. We all here suffer with chronic pain my pain comes from Fibromyalgia and degenerative back disease. I to worked everyday until I was injured on my job and developed Fibromylgia in happened on Dec. 13th 1997 and I have been in great pain unable to work since that day. it has taken years of pain counseling and every treatment and pain med avail. I seen more than 20 doctors and there is nothing that can stop the pain only ease it a bit.

    Start understanding your pain this site is great and you keep asking and we will keep answering you are not alone you are one among many. This is were it is ok the moan and groan. gentle hugs xxx

  • Hi Dave. Sorry to hear that you have had such a rough time of it. This the right place to come and moan. We all need some way of getting it off our chests and the folk here have a good idea what living with pain is like. I suddenly lost my active life 32yrs ago from being as fit a man could be. I have had to look beyond day by day ever since. I have a fair idea how down you can be by losing all your fitness and then coping with lack of mobility and then the pain issues on top. None less that those that living on morphine bring. I have been on opiates for the last three decades. Currently on Zomorph. What are you using Dave?

  • Feel free to moan that's what this forum is for get all your feelings out in the open

  • Hi dingle pants the names enough to give us a giggle.But I understand that's as far as the giggle goes,all I can say is the same as everyone on this site will say.We all empathise with you and you are entiltled to all you get from the NHS. I'm a women ( or that's what I like to call my self I don't know what my husband calls me ) and like you I am in constant pain but if I feel a bit down I just come on this site and have a moan,and it's amazing how many people in the same position reach out.So whenever you want a moan or just a chat join us.Chin Up BIG HUG.

  • Hi there don't give up, I'm pleased you have a lap top because at least you can chat to people like me on this site. It's a good start !

    Yes our bodies are giving up on us but there still our bodies, there differant to what we remember them to be or want them to be but they are ours !

    Look forward each day and never look back. Good things must happen sooner or later to all of us who suffer from this horrible pain we suffer. Well that's what I'm hoping anyway. Keep your chin and smile and type away ....

  • Hi Digglepants

    Loss of identy is part of pain, but it's also a time to create a new identity. Mourning your previous self is part of the process towards acceptance. The way you feel is perfectly normal. What is not normal, is to get stuck in one of the stages, there are 4. Most people need guidance through the stages. It is mourning the death of the self you knew. But turning it round to celebrate the birth of the new you can make a huge difference.

    You have your laptop, search for free counsellors, they will phone you or email chat with you. Also there are plenty confidence building courses that are free too. You do these at your own pace. They might feel daft to be doing, some of the questions and tasks may seem obscure but they are designed to get you thinking. There are emotional development courses, and I understand they may not seem very masculine (you have a strong physical masculine identity), they will encourage you to explore other sides if your character. Men can be tender, thoughtful, peaceful, caring, funny.

    If you prefer going somewhere, having face to face, give CAB a call. They can put you in touch with support groups, free counsellors, and anything else you might want to do. Maybe in time you could find a little voluntary work for a few hours a week. It seems that not only is your physical strength a problem to you, but being busy also.

    There is also a few charities that link up elder Brits with children in Africa, india etc and they provide tutoring over the net on a 1:1:basis. How cool would that be? Maybe we could get a PC team together.

    Unfortunately things will not change unless you make them happen, and the first step in doing this is the hardest. But once you start and see results, you just want to keep going.

  • Hi, am interested in a PC team. Only thing I avoid like the plague is skyping! No idea why, just not my thing. Can you give me a bit more info on the linking up with children overseas. Best wishes. Ann

  • Hi Annie, I don't do it, just heard about it.


  • And this one


    I'm sure there are others but I'm maybe not searching properly to find them. I'll keep posting them up as I come accross them.

  • Thanks Zanna, will have a look.

  • Join the injury club. You sound like you have all the symptoms of bereavement. All I can say to that is time will improve it. It is a waiting game as you work though all the emotions that will appear. All I can say: "as it comes so it will go."

    Read Job in the old testament. You may find that it helps.

    Hope this helps

  • Hi Dave, firstly your user name made me smile. Go easy on yourself. This site is great, we all come here to let off steam every now and again! I also worked very hard, I was in the caring profession and always seemed to walk the extra mile. Long, long hours. Working every shift under the sun etc, etc. One thing you can be assured of, only you can make things happen. Whatever works for you, do it. If you told me five years ago I would be using a walker to get to the shop, having so many aids in my home to get through a day, I would have laughed. I am 58 years old and feel like I have a body of a not very active ninety year old. there is still life in me yet, I have a lot to give to my family and friends. Love music and read non stop. Life is for living, lets go for it. I have degenerative arthritis in the spine and spondylothesis . Nightmare.

    Wishing you all the best. You are not alone, Ann

  • Been there... Music and stretches have helped. Also healthcare is advancing all the time! It may just be around the corner...

  • Bless Your Heart!!! I worked hard my whole life until Fibromyalgia took over my body, and life. Don't feel bad about yourself. You are still a fine man. We can't control our bodies diseases or syndromes. We can only learn our new limits and do the best we can. Have you been to a pain clinic sweetheart? I was at my wits end and they did help me by making my pain at least bearable. Hope you won't be so hard on yourself. It's part of life and growing older. It's what's on the inside that counts. Hope you find the help you need to relief your suffering!!! xxx Mitzi

  • Hi digglepants, just been catching up on posts. Don't worry about ranting that's what the site is for support when the pain gets too much. I've been on mild morphine based drugs for quite some time now but pain still get's too you some days. I'ts depressing if you have been active in your younger days. Guess we look forward to active mature age when in fact only the minority enjoy that. I found the biggest obstacle was getting others to accept your disabled by pain, and never feel well as when you were younger. Adaptations are the secret to remaining independent to some degree and things like laptops are a modern day wonder, don't know how we managed without them they are our window to the world when we can't get out, just as microwaves have revolutionised cooking for the less abled. Hope you come back and talk to us all again soon even if you only feel the need to pour out your own problems a problem shared is a problem halved as they say. Hope you feel a little better today. Best Wishes

  • Finding this site has been a god send for me before I was thinking how others get by 24/7 suffering in pain

    "one thing you can't hide is when your crippled inside" john lennon

  • im so very sorry this has happened to you I found myself relating to some of the things you were saying . the only problem with being physically and mentally strong is people expect you to be and never ask how you are . even if they did we would say Oh you know me im fine! ive run out of fake smiles to hide behind . some days the pain is so relentless my sense of humor disappears and its just me the dark the pain and the hopeless tears . if I ever learn to live instead of exist I will come back and tell you .I think you got more than enough to have a dam good moan about and if I can get to my computer I will always do my best to listen or try to help. please take care best you can .

  • Hi miss frosty, I have just read your first post on here you have been through alot but here you are already helping another member.Glad you found us you are now in a safe place where others understand, welcome ...hugs kim x

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