depression ,pain ,and fed up!

hi everyone its me again im still feeling like crap ,my head is always a mess im on loads of meds its getting more like a chore takeing my meds if i dont take them then i will most probs be not here ,life is crap with bad legs,back,diabetes,knees,shoulders and even i get the flop in the sex side of things .im married to a wonderful woman but i have to help her live as she has major mental heath problems ,bipolar,split person disorder,shes scared to go out dont like change ,she as a crumbled spine ,she has a catherter,heart problems ,very very low blood pressure,shes type 1 diabetic,and also like me has c.o.p.d mine was caused working on a landfill site for many years ,i think my mental heath is getting worse seen my dr i told her i keep getting bad thoughts its a thing i try to stop doing but if i did anything silly my loved ones would have broken hearts,no one likes being like this but things happen i our lives that we carnt control,i live in lincolnshire i carnt go to groups as my partner gets way upset and her mental heath takes over due to her past partners/husbands x4 im number 5 im the longest person she has been with she gets thoughts that im seeing someone she carnt help it bless her .my life is a hard one and the pressure is unreal as im trying to type this i cry im just fed up i need help im shouting out but know one hears me its like im in a tin with the lid on and it ecos sorry about the spelling i do have a metal heath dr but they listen but just give more tablets just to shut me up its not good i have freinds but i dont burden anyone its easy for me to talk on here as people understand me i think anyway just wanna say sorry if i have ranted a bit im just low very low in a hole carnt get out of manythanks and sorry for putting crap on here that people dont want to read just needed to sound off x

13 Replies

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  • Hello digglepants (love the name!) :) Soooo sorry to hear how very very very difficult life is for both you and your wife. There is nothing I can say or do to help either of you. But, I urge you to keep ranting and raving on this site....none of us will mind; in fact, it will make us take our minds off ourselves which will help us at times and I know we will want to send you lots and lots of thoughts, good wishes, and many hugs. If you want to actually talk to someone at any time of day or night, without them knowing who you are or where you are, then do ring the Samaritans. they are not there just for people that want to end it all, they are there for people who need so much to just talk to someone in confidence and not have to worry what they say, how long they want to say it, etc.....I send you both my sincere good wishes. :)

  • I agree. The Samaritans will listen and listen . As much as you need.

    Otherwise maybe focus on just one thing you can make a bit better. Try to find things to improve that one thing. However small

  • Hi digglepants, I can't add much more than Louisiana. But try and put your mind on doing something together, even if it's just a little walk and sit on a park bench and people watch,or a coffee for half an hour. Like you I have a lot of health problems COPD being one of them,also I am constantly in pain with my Tum, Ialso never want to leave the house,but my husband gets me to do these sort of small things,and I generally feel better for it. Also like Louisiana says the Samaritans are wonderful and also very helpful, so they are very good to sound off to. Have you ever asked your Gp about any support you can have. Also this forum is a good place to rant on because as you say the people on here understand. So you RANT as much as you like,you just might get some suggestions. BIG HUG to you and your wife. Your not alone.

  • Dont worry about a little rant every one just needs to get stuff off there chest some times and its better to do it on here were people are going through similar things to you and know were you are coming from i am new to forums but all ready i have found them very helpful just to be able to talk to people and get advice. Hope you Feel Better Soon Mate just keep plugging away at it. I found that when i had counselling it really helped me just to get things of my chest. Maybe you could go counselling if you dont all ready.

  • Keep ranting, we hear you and really do understand what you're saying. I agree with all that others have said. You need to be able to talk more, councillor, Samaritans, psychiatric social worker? And none of us like to burden our friends, but sometimes asking the most sensible one if they can listen - explain they don't need to offer any solutions, just listen - can help most. Sending hugs for you both.

  • I'm sorry to hear that you are in a low place sometimes with being in pain you can feel trapped and everyday can feel like a struggle. However, you have loved ones that make it worth fighting for, you're a warrior you're not a sufferer. Try to think as positively as you can even though that can be very hard to do sometimes just thinking of one positive thing can make your day feel that much brighter. As other people on this forum have voiced do not be afraid to rant on here, I'm also new here and I have chronic pain and for me knowing that we all have this online support available to us can help us to feel less lonely. I highly recommend the Samaritans, there is also a pain concern helpline: 0300 123 0789 (open 10-4pm on week days however it is does have limited availability) but it is designed specifically for people like us in pain who just wants someone to talk to they can offer support and advice and perhaps information on services that can provide further help. I am unsure if you have tried counselling? under the NHS I am trying a type of counselling called ACT which is Action and Commitment therapy and its designed to help people accept and manage pain in their lives and gives them a space to talk to someone about the impact that pain has on their lives. If you don't feel that that is for you, I have found mindfulness to help, perhaps get a book on it or you can find tapes online that are free for you to access; some include meditation tapes that are designed to help you relax and focus on the pain and tension in your body and to gradually release it. Mindfulness can be a way of looking at your pain from a different perspective and accepting that which you cannot control, but taking control of what you can control.

    ~ Best wishes to you and your wife.

  • I myself have reached the end of the road,it seems it's one thing after another.I have trapped nerve in my back,arthritis,gout,high blood pressure,chronic depression,deaf in one ear,carpel tunnel,two strokes,yes it gets you down I have beautiful grandchildren that I find hard to play with ,my strongest painkiller is morphine and I still have pain .i have come to the stage I don't know what to do that's why doing this helps to get it of your chest a good mone,so don't worry about ranting

  • I thought I had problems, but you bear yours and your wifes with pure love for her and yourself I hope she loves you, all I can say to you is that you made me ashamed for complaining about myself and pain, so please accept my best wishes and keep up the good fight, your a good man and you should remember that best Alex

  • All I can say is, feel free to let it all out on this site. The members are all very understanding and are in a lot of pain too. I must say you are in a bad place at the moment. Have you ever though of starting a diary? It is good to write it all down. You get it of your mind and down on paper and it sometimes helps when you look back and realise how far you have progressed for the better or things have got worse. It is helpful to try and understand what was happening in your life at the time that might have had an impact on how you were feeling at the time.

    Wishing you all the best in the future, Ann

  • thanyou to all of you its a nice place on here and very nice people that understand me my love and hugs to all and wish you all the best i will try what ever i can as im at the end of a rope only holding on by two fingers at the moment thankyou all for being there for me thankyou david

  • That is so sweet, the love and commitment you have for your wife. Don't ever lose hope. There's always hope. Just take it one day at a time. Very good advice from everyone! ((Big Hug)) xoxo

  • thankyou yes the advice is good from all who replyed to me i have the same problem also the same as yourself left leg left hip and back the pain gets really bad like yours just wanted to let you know im here if you need to ever wanna talk and let out some steam big hugs to you to im here most days as i dont go out much it makes me feel human again talking to people thankyou so much i wish you well kindest regards david x

  • Thank u David! :)

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