Hi there , to anyone who can lend their ears , I mean eyes. I just wanna say that today I'm really fed up, no, understatement , I'm peed off , totally peed off. Why is that ? you may ask . Well today is the anniversary /birthday of my o.c diagnosis., Whooopee f#####g doo !!!!.
So should I be having some kind of celebration ?? Nah , think I 'll pass on that , What about feeling sad about it .? Nah, I can't find any kind of emotion that I would want to waste on it,it's got a title , not as famous as breast cancer ,so what more does it want . It has taken a whole year out of my life . It has taken me away from my job , a job that I really enjoy, and I'm bliddy good at it . It has been filled it with surgery , chemo , radiotherapy ,numerous blood tests , etc, etc and driving round hospital f#####g car parks looking for a space !!!!
.Not only that , due to recurrance ,I have come to the decision of requesting early retirement through ill-health, B#####D. My good friend and colleague has requested early retirement too and is cockahoop that she has been accepted . Why can't I feel as ecstatic as she is . We should be skipping along the corridors at work like Morecambe and Wise , together , delighted together , but I'm not.I don't know how I feel , other than totally peed off (is being peed off an emotion ?)
Anyway thanks for listening / reading , I know there is a lot more of you out there who are probably more peed off than me today , for whatever reason,and I admire your strength and tenacity. Us o.c girls have got strong shoulders to buffer the setbacks and we keep on going , because we want to , we wont give in without a fight .
Well here's to my 2nd year and whatever lies ahead , who knows whats round the corner , non of us walk in a straight line any more.
Best wishes to all you girls out there ,
P.S I just took a phone call from my personnel officer , she wants to meet with me this Thursday to sign on the dotted line .............Ooooer