End of the road: Dear Teal ladies, I have been... - My Ovacome

My Ovacome
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End of the road

barleykeeper
barleykeeper
63 Replies

Dear Teal ladies,

I have been following this forum for the past year while my wife Carol was undergoing treatment, and have found it to be an invaluable source of optimism and support. I only posted once, on the subject of bowel obstruction which Carol went into hospital with on 30 December last year. The comments I received were really helpful in giving Carol hope.

Sadly, it never fully resolved and she was discharged on Valentines Day and died at home on the 9th of March exactly one year from diagnosis.

She maintained a sense of hope to the last, always taking one day at a time and refusing any prognoses, much as several of you have advocated.

I find it impossible to believe that she is no longer here, but that is something I know I will have to accept. What will make it easier will be if there is anything I can do to help raise awareness of this insidious disease. Any ideas?

Thanks for being there,

Nick

63 Replies
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Katmal-UK

Hi Nick I am so sorry for your loss, what a beautiful photo of your wife. I am certain she would be so proud to know that you want to help raise awareness . I know I'd like to thank you for that and I hope in some way in helps you in your grief to know that you are doing something. I'm wondering if maybe you contact Ovacome Admin to see what they suggest in terms of raising awareness? I wish you all the very best xx Kathy xx

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barleykeeper

Thanks, Kathy - I'll do that.

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PhillipandBettykid

Sorry to hear of your loss. She looks a lovely lady. It is brilliant that you want to raise awareness. I think raising it from the husband’s point of view would be great. This disease affects families so badly. Thinking of you at this tought time.

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barleykeeper

Least I can do, I think

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Manchesterlady

So very sorry For your loss Nick , what a beautiful photograph. Rest in peace Carol . Thinking of you at this very sad time xxx

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barleykeeper

Thank you

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Zannah

So sorry to hear of your loss Nick. What a lovely photo, Carol had such a lovely smile.

Kathy’s idea of contacting Ovacome admin seems a good one. I think that talking about ovarian cancer from a partner/carer’spoint of view is a really powerful thing to do in terms of raising awareness.

Thinking of you.

Jackie

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barleykeeper
barleykeeper
in reply to Zannah

Thanks, Jackie, Yes, I shall miss her smile perhaps most of all.

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Small_bump

I'm so so sorry to hear this, that is such a beautiful photo of your wife. Such an awful thing for you to have to go through. I think it's amazing that you want to raise awareness in your wife's memory, I think speaking to the admins on here would be a great way to start. Sending you all my love, Emma xxx

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barleykeeper

Thanks, Emma, and all good wishes to you and all the other ladies here,

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CharlotteSo_UK

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers are with you xx

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barleykeeper

Thank you

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Purple-iris

Dear Nick

So sorry for your loss, sending my deepest condolences to you and your family. What a beautiful picture of Carol on the beach. I hope with time your lovely memories will be of comfort.

Thank you for wanting to help raise awareness, as others have suggested have a chat to Anna on the Ovacome help line and I’m sure she would be able to put you in touch with someone from the Ovacome Team to discuss some ideas.

You are in my thoughts and prayers at this sad time. Kim 💜

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barleykeeper

Thanks, Kim. We are lucky to have many happy memories. All the best, Nick

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Petrolhead

Hi Nick

Firstly what a gorgeous photograph. Absolutely a s@@@ disease. I am sure you feel you were lucky to be together and have many memories. It will never be enough though.

Condolences to you and your family.

Thanks for sharing with us.

Fay

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barleykeeper

Thanks Fay. I was lucky to have known her for over 40 years and married for 39, so many memories. Nick

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Seasun36-uk

Hello Nick,

So sorry their of your wife’s passing.

What a beautiful photo.

Several of the Ovarian Cancer charities would be pleased to have your input: Ovacome, Target Ovarian Cancer & Ovarian Cancer Action.

There are various ways in which you can help, including fund raising, writing a profile or even speaking to medical students. (And other roles that I don’t know about).

It takes quite a lot of courage & strength to do this.

Only do it when you feel ready to & look after yourself in these early days.

We all wish you & your family well and are glad this Forum was a help.

Linda

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barleykeeper

Thanks you, Linda. Very helpful.

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Yoshbosh

Dear Nick,

I am so sorry for your loss. I remember your earlier post about the bowel obstruction, and I can certainly empathise having been there twice now. I’m sure you were a huge source of support and comfort to Carol. Be kind to yourself, and don’t do anything until you feel ready.

Vicki x

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barleykeeper

Thanks, Vicki. I remember your reply too. I wish you all the very best and pray you keep defeating these symptoms.

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gmc920

So very sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife. Thinking of you and your family.

xx Gina

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barleykeeper
barleykeeper
in reply to gmc920

Thanks, Gina

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ShropshireJo

Nick, thank you for sharing a lovely photo of Carol. I hope you find

comfort in such happy memories. My thoughts are with you and your family. Jo 🌹

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barleykeeper

Thank you Jo

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Eriksendi

So sorry to read your post about the loss of your wife. This is truly a terrible disease and anything you can do to raise awareness will be appreciated by all of us x x

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barleykeeper

Thank you - let's see where this goes.

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Caleda4

Dear Nick, So sorry to hear of your loss & I send condolences to you & your family. A lovely photo of Carol & the lab,she looks very relaxed & happy.

Take care.x

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barleykeeper

Thank you

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Hidden
Hidden

Im so sorry 💕

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Neona

I am so sorry. It is a lovely photo. For me an early scan would have resulted in an early diagnosis but I did not qualify for one because my ca 125 was normal. I did not really have any of the standard symptoms until it was advanced. Would your wife have liked you to make her story known- if so you could write an article for your local paper to raise awareness or even a national paper?

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19Mary

Sincerest sympathy on your loss.

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barleykeeper
barleykeeper
in reply to 19Mary

Thank you

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Saleh123

What a lovely smile from your wife. I am also sorry for your loss. My late wife had gone through the same path as yours when diagnosed. She fought for almost five years. A good start for awareness is with your wife immediate family. I have three daughters and we are doing annual checkup for any sign. Blood test,tumor marker and so on.And recently when my wife younger sister had an ovarian cyst we advised her to remove all ovaries to avoid future complication, raising awareness of this dreadful disease. My inlaw also died of ovarian cancer.

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barleykeeper

Thanks. Yes, it is insidious indeed. Very sorry that you lost your wife to it.

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Hidden
Hidden

A beautiful photo of a beautiful lady. My sincere condolences.

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barleykeeper
barleykeeper
in reply to Hidden

Thank you

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Lias66

Beautiful photo Nick, so sorry for your loss.

My husband rarely talks about the affect this disease has on him. Usually it will all get a bit too much and he’ll blow then go back to coping. Anything you can do to raise awareness is fantastic, raising awareness from a husband/partner perspective may help a lot of men who ultimately are walking toward widowerhood.

I have the e-mail for the team that run the target ovarian cancer awareness posts, you could drop them a line to see if they would be interested in doing a story about your wife’s illness from your perspective.

I’m not sure if I can post the e-mail address on here. I’ll add in a comment.

Wishing you all the very best, Lisa x

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Lias66
Lias66
in reply to Lias66

ochapman@targetovariancancer.org.uk. Oliver Chapman 02079235476

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barleykeeper
barleykeeper
in reply to Lias66

Thanks, Lisa - I'll follow that up.

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henrib

What a gorgeous photo of your beloved. I am glad Carol had such love and support. It is a very sad time...be gentle with yourself,

Valerie

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barleykeeper
barleykeeper
in reply to henrib

Thank you, Valerie. All the best.

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chinchi

😿💕🕊⭐️🌈

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LittleSan

My heartfelt condolences Nick. What a very beautiful photo of your wife. I'm sure it will help you and of course many others if you help raise awareness via the main OC charities. Love and strength to you. 💐

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barleykeeper

Many thanks

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Cropcrop

I’m so sorry for your loss of your beautiful lady. This disease is insidious and indiscriminate so any awareness that can be brought to the world can only be a good thing. Thank you for thinking of others at such a sad time for you, I hope you get some comfort from this and that you have lots of lovely memories and happier times together.

Take lots of care of you, we’re all here to offer support if we can in any way. Love and hugs ❤️xx Jane

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barleykeeper

Thank you, Jane. This is a very supportive community, and I'm sorry in a way that Carol couldn't bring herself to participate. But denial was her coping strategy, and it worked for her! Love, Nick

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BeeWild

So sorry to hear this Nick and sending you and your family my deepest sympathy.

All I can suggest is you contact Ovacome and offer them any assistance in promoting early detection of this awful beast xx

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barleykeeper

Thanks - and good luck

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Hidden
Hidden

My sympathy to you Nick and family .. beautiful memory of your dear wife Carol .

Avril

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Maxjor

So sorry Nick. It must be so hard and you write about her beautifully. It must have been such a tough year and glad this forum helped your wife stay positive. Just a virtual hug and so so sorry again. Ovacome has ways to suggest raising awareness and that might be a good place to start. My best to you and condolences. oxooxox

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barleykeeper
barleykeeper
in reply to Maxjor

Thanks you, and all good wishes to you on your journey.

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Maus123

I'm very sorry to hear that, Nick. And my hat off to you for writing such a kind and thoughtful post at a time of grief. The photo is fabulous.

It's a real shame she didn't get a chance to recover. I hope you will look after yourself and your loved ones, and I'm wishing you the best of luck with raising awareness. This disease really warrants some attention.

Be well. Maus

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PaulAllen007

Sending you best wishes and I feel your loss

I lost my mum to Ovarian cancer 21 February after a 6 month battle. It’s a tough time and this site was a big help even though I came to it late.

Spread the word for early diagnosis. That was missed for my mum. That’s my aim . Twitter Facebook anything that gets awareness out there.

Little things are a big help.

Take time for yourself though . It’s a tough time.

Take care and best wishes

Paul & Sasha

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barleykeeper

Thank you both, and my very best wishes - that was my wife's birthday, and as you say it takes time to come to terms with.

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delia2

I'm so sorry for your loss and appreciate so much your desire to help raise awareness.

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WoolyHat

I am so sorry for your loss. It’s all so unfair! Thank you for posting.

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Katiebairdie

Sympathy’s to you for the loss of your lovely wife.We must all keep trying raise awareness for early diagnosis.

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Trathi

Dear Nick, I am so sorry for your loss. Carol looked a beautiful strong lady who I am sure fought as hard as she could against this dreadful disease. I hope you are doing reasonably well, there will be good and very bad days ahead, but know she loved you.i hope you get the chance to access counselling if you feel you need it.

As for doing something to help I think that is a very brave but excellent idea. As Kathy has said contacting Ovacome admin they may be able to use a male perspective on the disease. Also taking to Gp’s about the disease from your point as it is often something which is misdiagnosed by Gp’s but usually as soon as it is diagnosed the husbands/partners recognise the signs and symptoms immediately as did my husband which made him extremely angry. So I feel this would be a good idea also.

I hope from time to time you continue to visit the site, and I am sure we all send our love 💕 hugs 🤗 and positive thoughts to you.

We will all continue to fight and do our best to overcome this horrid disease although I suspect many of us know deep down it will get us in the end.

Take care, lots of love 💕

Tracy

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SCWI

Dear Nick

I feel truly heartbroken for you losing such a beautiful strong looking lady with a smile in a million. I am so sorry too that although you had all those happy years together that she couldn’t have had longer. It is a terrible disease and we all struggle with it. Please just do your best to spread awareness, especially with your local GP surgery, my doctors had absolutely no idea what was wrong with me and I was diagnosed in A&E. My daughter is running the London Marathon this year for Ovacome. They always need fundraising. Please take time to grieve before taking on too much, though, you have been through a nightmare. I hope you find comfort in your beautiful Labrador, they are such wonderful dogs. Sending you love, Sophia x

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barleykeeper

Thank you, Sophia. I have to say our GP was superb and did an immediate 2-week referral, so perhaps awareness is increasing, but I suspect there is a long way to go. I wish your daughter well on the London Marathon. My daughter and I will be doing the rescheduled Marsden March on May 19th for the Royal Marsden Cancer Charity, another excellent cause! With love, Nick

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WoodyB

Dear Nick

I am truly sorry to hear of Carol's passing after what must have been a horrendous few months for you both. I feel bad that I gave you both what we now know was misplaced hope about Carol's bowel obstruction last December.

You have received some lovely replies to your post and I hope you will be able to draw some comfort from these. Carol was a beautiful lady and her spirit will live with you forever.

You mention that you have a daughter and I assume that, if she wishes, she could have a blood sample checked to see if she has any genetic risk of cancer (eg BRCA).

Carol would be so proud that you are taking steps to help others and the Marsden March is a very good place to start. As others have said, GP awareness is sadly lacking although not in Carol's case. I also think there is little awareness of the symptoms of bowel obstruction, even in the medical profession, and I wonder how that might be improved.

Sending very best wishes for your own healing after such a traumatic year,

Woody B

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barleykeeper

Many thanks, Woody. Please don't feel bad - that hope was what got her through 7 weeks in hospital then 3 weeks at home, time she was able to enjoy. Thank you for your good wishes, and the same to you.

All the best,

Nick

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Jo-Jo1-UK

I’m so sorry to hear such sad news. It must have been devastating losing your beloved wife so soon after diagnosis. You have posted a beautiful photograph of her. I’m sure she would be really proud of what you are trying to do to raise awareness of this dreadful disease. I don’t have anything to add to the good advice from the ladies above but please take care and be kind to yourself after such a dreadful year. Jo x

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