The jam jar is getting fuller!

Like so many of us my news today was not brilliant. My ca 125 was raised from 380 to just over 1000. I was expecting it as over this last 5 years I have come to understand my body.

I had 5th line chemo last october ... weekly taxol which brought my chemo down from 4000 to 380.

The oncologist was very pleased with my general health and well being. All blood results A1 except that 125.

The plan now is for ct scan just to confirm then see onc may 30th and commence carboplatrin and Gemcitabine. The oncologist feels I did well on carbolplatin with a 12 month remission so wants to use it again.

She is such a gentle but upfront person who makes you feel more positive. Always she reassures me that there are still things that she will try on me if planned chemos go awry. She ws senior reg at the Marsden prior to her appt here so I feel she was at the cutting edge. She said she will always refer patients to the Marsden too if necessary and will confer with her Prof up there for advice.For the first time in 5 years I really trust and like my oncoloigist which is part of the battle. I feel she is there for me and will do her best.

No internal exam ( didn't suggest it just incase!)I expect the ct scan is enough. She did feel my abdo but said all felt fine

My cancer is widespread in peritoneum, liver, spleen and a node on one lung Suzieque. It has become a seasoned traveller. Needs it's passport withdrawn methinks!

I have been very low this week because I knew things were going on. But now I know where I am at and what is to be done I feel positive and bright again

So ladies don't let the B....r get you down I'm still here fighting and coming up to my 5th anniversary.

Thankyou all for your ongoing support.

Love Suex

[wendydee]

Hi Sue.

Not such good news for you today, but in some ways, with an experienced oncologist who is so helpful and supportive, and a range of options to try, there could be worse news. I know it's not ideal but as you say, you're still there fighting. Keep fighting, girl!

As Patsy says, BBFC

Love Wendy xx

[bosue]

Sue, sorry to hear you were feeling low but feeling better now you know, exactly how I feel down before results, then head down and onward had first chemo 2nd line today and wierdly feel happy,think its because I now feel interactive about fighting this. Does that sound odd,am I talking a load of rubbish? anyway good luck to you 'keep swimming' love Sue x

[Hidden in reply to bosue]

Makes perfect sense to me Sue

Good luck with your chemo. What are you having

Love Suex

[bosue in reply to Hidden]

Sue,Glad I make sense to someone! 1st line treatment was carboplatin. 2nd line Pacitaxel/mitoxantrone.lets kill those little things that make up the CA 125 !!! Love Sue x

[BusyLizzie]

Oh Soapsuds! On the positive side it sounds like your oncologist is getting better and better like Viv's. I think actually we are all seeing it as a challenge to manage the disease for as long as we can. It sounds like your cancer is tamable and I am sure your Gem/Carbo combo will tame the beast again.

I know it is a blow to say the least, but at least you have a plan!

Love always

Lizzie

X

[Hidden]

Hi Lizzie

Thanks. Like with us all it is in the lap of the Gods.

My husband always gets worried when I have a plan!!!! Says it usually means I have a plan for him to do some work!! Honestly as if I would ever nag him to putr up that shelf in the kitchen or paint the utility room that has been waiting for 2years!! I'm not allowed to do professiional blue jos I might add. Confined to daintier pink jobs!!!!!

Big hugs girl

Love Suex

[bosue in reply to Hidden]

Hi again, a lady after my own heart,my plan is to decorate our bedroom,but alas I have hurt my leg so unable to climb ladder so down to poor hubby ! Love Sue x

[Whippit]

Oooh I feel a blog coming on. I'm for a new kitchen. Have been quite busy on house plans in the last year. Organised a 'bungalow' on the ground floor of my Victorian terrace last summer so everything is prepared and cosy when I can't get upstairs. The new kitchen is the latest addition to my bungalow and is pure luxury. Hopefully it might inspire me to cook even if I feel lowsy.

Xx Annie

[ladygooner-uk]

big hugs soapsuds

xx

[Hidden]

Soapsuds I know just how you feel (and felt last week).

Had my bloods yesterday ready for Monday, but I know there is something not right, and I am feeling very depressed about it . My hubby, of course, still turns a blind eye and carries on as if nothing is wrong. I know going away gives you something else to think about, but in a rally field this weather........ next week we are due to pick up the new motorhome, but need to drive 55 miles each way, so presumes I am ok to drive the car back. No asking... and then gets stroppy when I say I don't feel fit to drive that far with the neuropathy in my feet. I know they can't always be aware of how you are feeling, but it would be nice to be treated like you've got a mind of your own sometimes! (Sorry about that rant but it has been bottled up too long!).

Onwards and upwards to new experiences and making the most of what time is left.

Keep smiling.

Love n hugs

Viv

[BusyLizzie in reply to Hidden]

Hi Viv,

I am willing you to be wrong about your results.

My husband is picking up his new motorbike on Saturday and I have commited to driving the car back. I am hoping it won't be too awful. My abdomen feels like it is burning inside and I am bloated like a balloon LOL! Hopefully, the adrenolin will get me through. This is assuming of course that when I go into hospital tomorrow they still can't find any ascites to drain (it is all mixed in with tumours now) otherwise I will still be in hozzie on Saturday! I guess the issue with you managing so well for so long, is perhaps it all becomes a little unreal to your husband.

Love Lizzie

X

[Hidden in reply to BusyLizzie]

My next door neighbour has offered to accompany me, so at least I won't be on my own for the drive back, and it will stop the mind wandering. I hope you are going on the back of the bike with your husband...do you remember kezzerbird on the mac site, with her bike?

I hope they manage to sort out your problems, I know I spent 2 days in hopsital waiting for an ultrasound to pinpoint the ascities once, and they said there was nothing there to drain when they eventually saw me. The thought was I would get seen quicker as an in patient!

off and away now as the sun is shining here....

[MargaretJ]

Hi Sue,

From one battleaxe to another hang on in thee girl! Don't let the b****r grind you down! If it makes you feel any better go somewhere isolated and scream! I'm a big believer in the cathartic advantages of screaming! If you are embarassed to think of it as screaming pretend you are an operatic diva trying to reach top C! I don't know what it is but I think it is emptying your lungs, letting go of the inhibitions and admitting how angry I am that, with all my attention to healthy living I still got this awful disease! Still it could be worse! Alzheimers anyone?

Love M

[GeorgeSuffolk]

Hi Sue

I wish you all the best with your new treatment. It's strange but I too am feeling more positive since starting my second line treatment, it's that feeling of doing something to stop the monster. You give me hope, after all you've been through

Love George x

[suzieque]

Ah Soapsuds,

B#####d , Hang on in there kidda.You've done really well and I admire your spirit , as I do with all of us girls on here .

This site is buzzing with spirit , faith , hope , support .and love for our O.C buddies.

Your oncologist sounds very similar to mine ,only mine is a he.. (I believe I am falling in love with him , well don't we all . God , if only I was younger , fitter , slimmer and not so dry ). Whoooah , sorry , got carried away there , .......

Anyway , happy anniversary for your 5th , I hope I can do as well as you Sue , 5 years , I can handle that...

Take care ,

Love and best wishes

Suzie xxx