end of the road for my mum sad times

well 3 weeks after beig told they could no longer give her any treatment my mum has rapidly gone down hill she has taken to her bed and stopped eating! she is doped up on morphine and has started hallucinating and talking rubbish very upsetting for my dad, i live in cornwall and my mum and dad in sheffield my sister lives down the road so is helping the best she can. i myself feel very frightened as i know she wont recover from this im not sleeping very well as i suffer fron anxiety myself, im writing on here because i dont know who else would understand the pain im goin through right now , im having days were i just want to cry and cant seem to stop i just dont know how i will cope when the time finnaly comes :((

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  • Dear Daveenatilson

    I'm so sorry to read your blog. It's such a short time since you wrote to say the medical team caring for your mum felt there was no more they could do and you were feeling awful living so far away.

    These are difficult times for the people who are sharing the process. I hope you feel your Mum has enjoyed happy times and that you've been able to share these with her. My Dad died last year and I found the process very difficult to cope with as I also live at a distance from his home.

    Take heart in the good wishes you'll receive from friends on this site as well as your family and friends.

    Sending my very warmest wishes. Annie x

  • Its a dreadful time for you all. Try not to worry about how you will cope in the future. Just make as good a job as you can coping with each day. If you are suffering from anxiety then try to work within your own limits. Provide as much support as you feel able but no more.

    We are always here to listen.

    All the Very best.

    Sarah

  • Hi,

    There is no easy way through this process - it is hard and sad and seems so unfair. What you are going through I can only sympathise with, and hope that you are drawing stength from the rest of your family - that together with your sister and Dad you face this together.

    If your Mother is on morphine at least she will be pain free, but that does not stop the pain for those around her,

    I am thinking of you at this very sad time and can only offer you a virtual hug.

    Love Lizzie

    X

  • Sorry to hear about your mum. It is such a hard process to go through and have been there myself when my mum had morphine. You just have to try and keep your strength up and be there for one another and tak e each day as it comes. Try not to worry about the future too much. You will cope somehow. Thinking of you x

  • This is a very difficult time for all of you and there is no easy answer or easy solution. The price we pay for loving someone is the grief we feel when we lose them.

    Time is short and perhaps you should give some thought about going to see your Mum and family for a few days. It might help you feel less anxious if you see for yourself how well cared for and pain free your Mum actually is. Saying goodbye and letting go will help you to come to terms with your loss. I feel sure your Dad and sister will appreciate your support.

    Dealing with the loss of a parent is always difficult but life does go on and you will find a way through this and I am sure your Mum would not want you to feel that life without her would be impossible for you.

    I hope you find a way through this sad situation you and your family face.

  • So very sorry to hear your news about your mum ..

    Having lost both my mum and dad in 06 and 09 I know what you are facing ..

    I too feel as beckyh does if its at all possible for you to spend a few days with your mum and dad then try and do so .

    I was lucky enough to be with mum and dad when they passed , dad was at home but mum was in hospital .It helped me to be there .

    There is not much one can say at a time like this but to let you know we are thinking about you and your family .

    Take good care now xx

    Love Janet xx

  • Hello Daveena

    I think all the others have said what there is to be said. It's a sad time for you and your family. Take all the support you can get and be kind to yourself. In time you'll find that the memories of good times are very comforting.

    Best wishes

    Linda

  • Hi Daveena,

    So sorry.... my thoughts and prayers are with you......x Gwyneth x

  • Dear Daveena,

    I understand what a sad and scary time this is for you. When my Mum had cancer in '95 (she lived in UK and I in Canada), I never realized how sick she really was and I regret that I didn't go to see her when she was in hospital. I had talked to her 5 days prior to her death and she sounded great - so when she passed it was a big shock to me. I regret that I didn't go to see her.

    As Becky and others have said, if you can, go and see her and your family for a few days. Your Mum will feel the circle of love around her and will be comforted by it. You'll feel better too and not live with regret later on.

    Good luck with your decision ...

    Sandy.

  • Dear Daveena

    Just to say I echo what the other friends have said on here and that I am thinking of you and your family. When my mother-in-law passed away, it was a peaceful time for her. She had morphine and was pain free and seemed contented at the very end. It does help you to deal with it if you can be there.

    My thoughts are with you

    Love Wendy xx

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