Deep breath

Its finally good news! Trying to breathe and let it sink in. I was diagnosed early Oct 2016- age 45. Inoperable so had 4 cycles of carbo/taxol. Brca 1 confirmed. Mass spotted on breast, biopsy day before debulking surgery. Debunking surgery early Jan. Confirmed OC or falopian tube cancer 3C (caveats that had chemo prior to staging). Breast benign. Back in chemo late Jan. Feb, infection, incision opened up. After 2 cycles of chemo, pulled due to unkown red blood cell blood problems. More transfusions than I can count. Hematologist agreed to let me have more chemo in conjunction with blood. Had my third cycle of chemo which finished last week. Ct/pet scan monday. Nervous wreck because been having a lot of discomfort and aches in all the bad places and some new ones. Belly /side felt bloated. Was sure scans would not be good. Oncologist appointment Wed. Mild panic attack waiting for news, despite last ca-125 coming in at 19 after several small increases. My scans were clean. Clean scans!! No signs of cancer! I'm technically in remission!

I hope that this crazy almost 8 months with so many bumps along the way gives some hope to some of you. After all this, my biggest challenge remains the mental one. How to not live in constant panic and fear. That may be the roughest road yet. I hope you all get the news I got on your next scans!!

Now I am focusing on my blood issues, healing and will be consulting with breast dr's for prevention options. Tonight, I go to my cousin's wedding for my first time at a social function since diagnosis. Very anxious, but excited to start living again.

18 Replies

  • I can feel your relief and happiness jumping out the screen! Fantastic news, so happy for you! I got my first NED in March, still panic when I get sore or bloated tummy........had my surgery last Aug. Got my first 3 monthly review on the 23rd, already anxious, yet what is he going to tell me? I am in a much better place than I was this time last year! Yes.........go off and start living your life again! xx

  • 🥂 to us both kicking its ass! And to a much better place. May it last a very very long time!!!

  • Hi love,

    So pleased for you,it is a shock and can affect you,but don't let it! You need to go on and live your life,otherwise,what have you fought for?

    Oh,hope you enjoy the wedding you sound incredulous at your result,but it is a good one,do some of the things you have yearned to do and I think a holiday is in order⛱😀xx

  • Once we resolve my blood problem a vacation will be had! Probably Hawaii. ⛱⛵️🍍☀️🐠

  • Wow you must be relieved! I'm really pleased it was good news, and hope you are enjoying th wedding.

    I'm finding social occasions still hard as I emerge blinking into to the light after what now seems like 6 months in hell!

    Did you see article I posted on Facebook by Dr Peter Harvey called 'After the treatment finishes - Then what? It was brilliant! Gives a real insight into what life will be like now as you navigate your way out to the light. Will post link below:

    If it doesn't work, try googling his name, article title & Leeds teaching hospital.

    Hawaii sounds fab! It's a bit more of a pain for us to get to, but I'd happily go one day if I can! 😬✈️😎☀️

    Best wishes

    Sarah xxx

  • Thanks Sarah! You continue to be my partner in crime in all this. Will look up that article. Have to get through mother's day tomorrow and can then rest and relax. Funny how everyone is so excited to see me out and about but to me, nothing feels different physically. Still sore and exhausted. But at least filled with gratitude and newly blonde hair!

    Stay well my friend! 🌸🌺🌼🌿

  • Such good news and live you must. So many lovely stories on here of ladies who have done things they would never have done before. For me i sold my house and moved 50 miles away to live with my partner and go on lots of holidays and see my family lots. Go and lap it all up xx

  • Good for you! I'm doing bucket list and getting a balcony on my dining room (happily burly builders are doing the hard stuff while I look on and make tea). Live it!


  • That is very good news indeed and I totally get what you mean about how to realign your mindset after dealing with the diagnosis-treatment-issuesfromtreatment-new life view-friends&family stuff etc etc. It's like a board walk that ends and you find yourself looking for the boat or wetsuit or any dolphins that might be jumping about nearby..... anything to give you a pointer on what next.

    I also agree with Sarah and your good self about social situations. For me (with short curly post chemo hair) it's the wig or no wig, small paper handout itemising story so far so I don't have to keep telling people about what's happened time and again, drink more than one prosecco??? Hell yes let's!!! No have the fizzy water scenarios.

    It sounds like you're in the States - is that right? I'm in England but we are coming to the US in the summer - major family memory building trip of a lifetime, no pressure😜

    Anyway enjoy this - it will get easier to let the sunshine on your face and let in the good stuff over time. You deserve it.

    Netti x

  • Hooray for you, now as you said let your body start healing and listen to your body, rest when it tells you to rest.

    Hugs Ellsey xx

  • Hey Ellsey how are you doing?

    Netti x

  • Netti hi all going well at the moment, have had a couple of bumps along the way but starting to be the new me. Life has changed so much.

    Hugs Ellsey xx

  • Fantastic news, now you can heal. Enjoy the wedding and hope the breast issues are soon resolved. Start planning that holiday, you've earned it lovely lady ❤️Xx Jane

  • Wonderful, now it is time to catch up on your wish list , and thankyou for such amazing news.

    Now breathe time to laugh again xx

  • Fantastic news!

  • I am sooooo happy for you! Getting to breathe after a long and complicated fight is wonderful! Enjoy the wedding!

  • That's great news, I glad thongs are improving for you at last and that it's been worth all the treatment x

  • Wow wow wow love this post !!! Fantastic news!! I too have clear scans, preventative chemo starts next week but I too am still anxious quite a lot! Guess it's something we learn to live with ! Lots of hugs xxxxx

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