Ct scan results

I've just arrived back from the hospital after receiving my ct scan results.

There is no sign of cancer on my liver, gallbladder, adrenals, kidneys, pancreas etc...

Fantastic news.

I do however have a new prominent sidewall lymph node. Largest measuring 9mm.

My oncologist has said this may have been there all the time and my previous ct scan didn't pick it up as it is less than 1cm so depends where the scan cut. He's not worried about it. Just wants to watch and wait.

I asked was this good news and he just said there is some uncertainty.

I think that's as good as it is gonna get from him. Always gonna be uncertainty from now on.

I am starting avastin with my last carbo treatment hopefully this Friday.

I think I will be more pleased once the chemo is finished.

I don't know what I was expecting, I thought I would be relieved but I think it's just dawned on me that uncertainty is the best to come, just got to learn to deal with it.

Is it normal to feel like this??

8 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hey Mandy!

    Glad you got good results even with some elements of uncertainty! I think anyone who gets a cancer diagnosis begins to live in an uncertain world from then on and sometimes it sucks! On the other hand if you think about it EVERYONE lives with uncertainty but they just don't know it most of the time! Embrace the good news and the uncertain won't be as important at least in the short term!

    I know that's not very helpful but as they say Onwards and Upwards!!

    Dx

  • D you've just said what I was thinking about uncertainty but said it so well. I've messaged you Mandy from my Avastin chair. Xx

  • I think that is a brilliant result! Uncertainty is what we all live with and there is no point in worrying about what might not happen,otherwise you ruin what could be the good times.

    If you feel well and are able to do what you enjoy then so be it, if you think about it we are all on watch and wait wether there is any evidence of disease or not.I for one am fed up with being monitored,but we all know it's for our own good.

    So enjoy life Millie,

    Lots of love

    Carole xxx

  • Hi that is good news, it is perfectly normal to feel the way you do, try and enjoy your good days. As D says we are all living with uncertainty we just know about it. I try and have really nice times when I'm not having treatment and feel good and then when I have appointments and scans etc I deal with what ever comes my way if and when I have to. It has taken me a while to get to that point but I'm there! Big hugs

    Karen

    Xx

  • Hi Millie

    You have done really well...try to hold that thought.

    I remember feeling a bit deflated..even with good results because no one is ever going to say 'it's over' and I think that is hard to take. It's also completely normal and sensible to grieve for the certainty we have lost.

    Don't be hard on yourself..take care. Lyndall

  • Hi Mandy,

    Think it's the 'new normal' thing to be uncertain with this heinous crock of crap disease.

    You naturally want assurances and if you're like me, try to read between the lines of sentences and body language. It's impossible to remain positive all the time.

    But you have done marvellously well - hold onto that.

    Try to relax this evening. It's done now and tomorrow is another day..

    Debs xxx

  • HI Millie-C that is fairly good news really, the Avastin just might blast that little beast into oblivion for you or it could shrink it, I responded like that and am still stable. I feel good at the moment on a drug free break. Remember you hadnt your last carbo yet so uncertainty might be good in the long run, Any worries about the Avastin come on back and ask them and we will do our best to help out, all the very best

  • Like the others say, I guess everyone deals with uncertainty all the time, but we cancer sufferers are acutely aware of it. It seems good news and hopefully the final chemo will zap those cells remaining.

    After my final all clear, it slowly dawned on me that I'm going to be thinking about my diagnosis for a long time to come, but I'm going to put such thoughts out of my mind rather than dwell on them and try and live my life.

    All the best! Helen

You may also like...