Feeling down

Hi everyone. I saw my onc before chemo number 3 on Friday. I thought this was just a routine appointment, but he told me that my last scan (13 June) showed that there was further areas of growth in my abdomen, also CA125 has not been affected by the hysterectomy (27 April)

He is going to introduce Avastin in my next treatment to be given along side the Carbo/Taxol. I am having the Avastin for 16 sessions at 3 weekly intervals, so having been telling myself that I am almost half way through the treatment, I am now facing well into next year.

Is it usual to have this cocktail?

I live alone, and just wanted to share all this with someone. Obviously I am really disappointed that the Carbo/Taxol is not having the desired result and think I will probably have a bit of a cry later this evening. Sorry to be such a wet blanket.


27 Replies

  • Sorry to hear that Jenny but you will find the Avastin on its own much easier to bear..so don't think of it as all the same.

    My CA125 also came down slowly but was at its lowest recently on Avastin alone.

    This journey is a roller coaster ...so try to take the positive..they are offering you extra treatment and there's still time for your blood test scores to go down xxx Lyndall

  • She said she was having it has a cocktail so I assumed Jenny would finish off her three cycles of carbo/taxol then carry on with Avastin

  • Hi Jenny,

    When I joined this forum I had benn diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It now turns out that I have stage 4 cervical cancer which travelled to my ovaries!! I too am having carbo/ taxol with Avastin, so it seems like a pretty normal thing. It does really bring you down when they spring more bad news on you and I don't think there is anything wrong with having a good old sob, but you will feel better tomorrow.

    Hope all goes well.

    Love, Helen X

  • Hi Jenny

    I just wanted to send you a virtual ((hug)) across the airwaves...it's ok to cry...what's happening to you is rubbish! :(

    You're in my thoughts & I hope with the extra treatment you start to feel a bit better soon.

    Jemima xx

  • Hi Jenny. Just wanted to send love and hugs. 😘😘🌻

  • Hi Jenny sorry to hear your news sending u a big hug u might live alone but you are not alone we are all here with you and for you xx

  • I am sorry you are not finishing treatment when you thought you would but from experience Avastin is tolerable apart from runny nose and a few aches here and there. You would keep getting that every three weeks and apart from a few hours post infusion, and a bit of tiredness you should feel a lot better on it as a single treatment. I planned holidays and trips away when on that. It did produce shrinkage in my case so hope that makes you feel more positive about it

  • Hi Jenny I had Carbo/taxol and Avastin for 6 cycles now having Avastin alone and on 3rd cycle with another 9 to go. Like you it's tough with the chemo but now I'm just on Avastin it's ok.. I am experiencing runny nose, headaches, stomach cramps and a croaky voice feel tired but on the whole I'm ok. Wishing you all the best, keep us posted on your progress Love Michelle xx

  • Jenny you are so not being a wet blanket! This forum is for Good days, bad days and (as Debs calls them) "pants days"!!!

    Hope tomorrow is a better day!


  • Hi jenny. My last chemo is Wednesday but I think avastin takes me till June 2017. It does seem daunting but I've been reassured by other ladies experiences. Have a little cry. We all do and at the most unexpected times but sometimes it needs to be let out. Good luck with your treatment. Xx

  • Jenny,

    I just had a good cry and maybe a little screaming at hubby about how unfair this all is :(

    Now I know I need to pick myself up and get on with it. We are all entitled to feel like this especially when we hit a hurdle in our treatment.

    Wishing you luck in your treatment,

    Much love and Hugs


  • Hi jenny, sometimes we all need a good cry, then we get into fighting mode 😤 , I too am stage 3a, I start cycle 4 carbo/taxol and avastin tomorrow ,no major side effects only blood pressure extremely high, was even contemplating not having it any more, but listening to these wonderful bunch of ladies I have been reassured, as long as they keep BP under control I am happy and lucky to be having it, wishing you the best of wishes with your treatment.

    Take care

    L x

  • it's good to have a cry....let it out. This disease is so shitty, but dont give up.. Sending hugs your way. i hope you feel better soon

  • Thanks everyone. I don'tknow what I would do without you to "talk to". Actually, a friend came round this evening with a bottle of wine. (not the best I know but look where the sodding Rainbow Diet has got me (sorry) I didn't know she was coming but think telling someone face to face probably did me good.

    I am going to try to sleep now and tomorrow gird up my loins and get back on track. Once again thanks for being there.


  • Sorry that it's not been the best news, but hopefully after a good night's sleep, you can dust yourself down and be ready for the challenge. Good luck with the Avastin and fingers crossed it does the trick. xx

  • Jenny you are not being a wet blanket dealing with all this is very stressful. I live alone as well and get how tuff this can be. Having Avastin during first line is perfectly acceptable there is some evidence that is can prolong remission periods and during first line is the only time you can have it. My CA125 leveled out after three treatments during first line and I remember how upset that made me feel.

  • You are no way a wet blanket, I started with avastin but it didn't work for me unfortunately .... It's really difficult at times, would love to hear from you again xx

  • Dear Jenny, this news hits like a ton a bricks. I'm so glad your friend popped over with wine. I'm sending over a virtual hug. To a better day tomorrow....

    T. X

  • Bless your heart. I have no answers but will keep you in my prayers. Reach out to family, friends and home nursing if you are alone.

  • Hi Jenny

    Know exactly how you feel I too went for my 3 month review expected to be told it was stable and was told it had not worked and that I will have to go on chemo and avastin. My Oc is trying tamoxifen for three months first but I don't hold out much hope. I am back end of August so the gruelling chemo starts again. This disease is awful because you feel not too bad and then they hit you with treatment that makes you feel poorly. But we have to keep fighting X

  • Thanks to all the ladies who have replied to me, and you are right Maureen, we do have to keep on fighting. I know that you will understand when I say that sometimes I don't feel like fighting! However, I have assimilated the latest information and am feeling stronger today. As Dollysmum says, we are warriors and we dust ourselves off and carry on!


  • Knowing my penchant for research, I read an excellent piece about the benefits of your 'cocktail', so there is a positive, they are pulling out all the stops to evict the alien, may it disappear into outer space for good. It seems like a good team working for you.

    Hope you are feeling a little better today, it comes in waves, but be strong we are on your side.

    LA xx

  • Thanks LA that is reassuring. X Jenny

  • Hi Jenny,

    Hope you feel a bit better today. Don't worry about having a good cry now and then. It's extremely difficult trying to remain calm at times isn't it. But that's what we're here for! That 'cocktail' might just be the ticket...

    Thinking of you

    Debs xxx

  • Thanks Debs. I went to the hospital for my pre chemo blood test and ran into my MacMillan nurse in the entrance! I chatted to her about a few things that I had been too upset to discuss with the Onc. when I saw him Monday, and I am now feeling somewhat reassured about my treatment. These things take a bit of time to assimilate don't they?

  • and some....xxxx

  • Hi Jenny,

    I so hope you're feeling better by the time you read this. Don't feel badly about sounding off.....we're all here for each other. I'm sending hugs and hope from across the ocean. Judy V

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