ladies! I haven’t been out out for a loooong time, and since my diagnosis I’ve lived in trainers and slippers (my feet have changed shape so none of my shoes or boots fit 😢) and jeans or joggers (I’ve put on a lot of weight and am struggling to lose it 😞). But this week I met with a friend I haven’t seen for 12 years and she invited me to her wedding in 2 weeks and it was such a lovely thoughtful gesture that I need to at least consider it…but what on earth would I wear???? I guess I could probably find a nice dress but what about shoes??? All suggestions welcome!!! I’m 51 so not quite ready for anything too unfashionable 😕. Used to be an avid collector of colourful high heels… can’t wear any of them now. So…going out shoes…!!!!???
clothes and shoes?? Help! : ladies! I haven’t been out... - NRAS
clothes and shoes?? Help!
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Tired-fed-up
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If you have a John Lewis near you they usually have a nice shoe department….
So much sympathy for you. I grieve over all those beautiful heels I'll never be able to wear again. If you're feeling flush Sole Bliss shoes (allegedly worn by the Queen Consort) are stylish but comfy, Wider Fitting Shoes offer a good selection and Pavers do a reasonably good looking shoe. I hope this helps and that you have a fab time at your friend's wedding.
thank you x the cheapest sole bliss sandals (£149!!) are sold out otherwise I’d be tempted! My problem is I don’t have wide feet (I actually have narrow feet) but I have WIIIIDE toes 😞 so maybe open toed wide foot sandals is the way to go ?!?!
Oh bother! Perhaps in a funny way their being sold out saved you from spending too much. I wear Birkenstocks all summer and they do narrow and 'normal' fit shoes and sandals. My feet are so wide I look like a duck!
Clarks shoes have many fashionable wider/comfort fit and styles in their stores. So do M&S if you’re going to shop in a large centre. Hope you find something and have a great time.
M&S make my feet happy!
In general M&S make me happy! I’ve just received a lovely mid denim quilted Chinese style jacket yesterday which is really lovely.
I wore fashionable very wide legged evening trousers that kinda looked like a long skirt with a smart blouse to my niece's wedding... and flat comfortable wide fitting ankle boots ...they couldn't be seen under the trousers. I also had my crocs which I changed into when everyone settled down after the meal / speeches. Noone saw them as my feet were under the table all evening ,by home time no one cared 🤣
I find hotter shoes very comfortable. Do you have an independent shoe shop near you? We have one on our town and I’ve found them very helpful when I’ve needed shoes for a special occasion. They know their shoes well and if you explain your requirements they make very helpful suggestions. They also stock several different brands.
I had a nice suit made from a very good dress maker she online put kirsty Doyle kd cloths in her website will.pop up. she amazing and they don't look like they been made they look professional she does beautiful wedding dresses have a look on Instagram I like fashionable trendy cloths if you wear trouser suit maybe fitted on the leg extra wide flair at the bottom you won't really see your shoe so can get away with a lower heel
Kirsty Doyle
Or this one
I have one similar I wore for a wedding show are mostly hidden
these are beautiful 😍
Fab love them
Nude is nice
Or nude
Where does that come from darling Vonnie10. xxx
Liverpool sylvi my neck of the woods kirsty is the dark haired lady who owns the business in the two photos above ive had made cloths before and i can honestly say some look awful but kirsty are like shop bought you couldn't tell any differnce im very fussy, she did have a shop but shut it recently I have this in black it's lovely hangs so nice flattering good quality material nice and comfy I've put weight great for hiding my wobbly bits x
Try YOURS clothing shop as they have a lot of nice things in there and as to feet go to a shop and try a few on. If you can't get out order some in and try them on before you buy as you can always send them back.xxx
SAS Shoes
Go to a store like Nordstrom or Macys or a fancy shoe store, they will help you find something nice but comfortable. You can also look on EBay for your size shoe, Zappos, search for women’s shoes
long dress would be more forgiving about shoes
I’ve been there .. house looks looks like a shoe shop old and new..
Last year I went to a wedding and wore a maxi dress. There are some lovely ones . I wore trainers. I have a range of trainers in different colours and style. Geox and Gabor do some lovely ones and do wide fitting. . Often find a bargain on Amazon. The main thing is to enjoy the day . Life is too short go and have a lovely day in comfort.
I agree with your comment about enjoying the day.
People aren’t bothered about my feet.
What does upset me is that I can’t wea a bra.
I’ve tried all sorts,thought I’d solved it by wearing a tankini top.
It caused my back / lung pain to be even worse.
I’ve tried all sorts,I’ve now resorted to tank tops under my tops/jumpers.
If the elastase content is too high,it hurts.
Could stretchy vests with straps with some Lycra content in them help? I have several which don’t feel like armour but hold you in place. They are M&S. You look like you’re wearing a bra as it keeps you in a nice looking shape.
Hi
I have recently had problems with my lungs (awaiting an Urgent appointment and told it will be 6 months) and I too cannot wear a bra BUT I dance so have now resorted to wearing a body M & S do one with wider straps and it is only light control (so just supportive) and have altered a couple of leotards to have wider straps and they too are working for me.
I buy all my clothes and shoes from the charity shops . The result of this is I have lovely clothes at very little cost and the money goes to a good cause.
Vionic shoes do wide fit with arch support.. so comfy. Alternatively try Evans shoes as a more affordable option ? How about a midi/maxi dress with lace up boots or trainers … bang on trend ?
what about ballet type shoes or even sandals with room to spread. I have got quite a few pairs of shoes. I would be using my ‘standyup only’ shoes. Ok for wedding with limited moving about…..but comfy ones in the car to put on later. 😉Enjoy
After nearly 30 years of RA my feet have seen better days. I find Hotter shoes stylish and comfortable together with my orthotics which I couldn't live without. Enjoy the wedding!
Oh...heels. one of the really painful losses of this bloody disease. I used to collect heels and was madly in love with them. Haven't worn them for four years.
A good alternative is boots with flat or barely there heels. Leather boots can be very smart and go very well under formal trousers or even a skirt and top. Personally I have come to prefer skirt/blouse combo to dresses. I feel like I have greater control.
I recently wore a dark skirt, silk like material blouse, a bolero or a shawl in light fabric. Silk-wool combo for example.
And I also put on weight. And I am in my 30s. So, i completely understand.
Goodluck
Monsoon sells lovely things for the slightly larger lady.. look at their sale items as they can be dear.. (also Bravissimo may be worth a visit for a remeasure). I can’t help with the shoes I’m afraid, I’m a boots, trainers, or walking sandals person..
• in reply to
Having said that, my friend wore trainers to her own wedding (she had a long dress on).. 🤣
Fruitandnutcase• in reply to
Same for me Crip Lady - I only wear ECCO lace ups ECCO GoreTex walking shoes that look like trainers - got a pair in white and a pair in black depending on the season , hiking boots or boots. Nowadays I see myself as an eccentric elderly lady who wears trainers with everything. So I’d go with Mmrr’s suggestion.
Hi how are you?, I have never worn normal high heels since the days of stillettos were fased out for cuban style heels. However I have tried many makes, and freinds, but would not reccommend clarkes. Styles have changed including trainer style s and its quite common for people to wear modern trainers to weddings . When my grandaughter got married I bought some lovely shoes but could not get them on on the day. Hotters are comfortable, doctor lightfoots are comfy, Jane style shoes in a wider fit might work, Hotters in certain styles fit on arthritic feet, sandals with low heels might work, orthopeadic shoes from on line are much more stylish now and varied colours with comfort. I have had arthritis in my feet for around 30 odd years but even I have had to change the styles due to changing fashion. Spend time on line doing a search as going to shops can be exhausting and defeating. You need to find a style that fits so look for options of different width fittings . I am told sketchers are good and think its ECO, names and styles are changing constantly. Good luck and enjoy the wedding even if you have to wear the new slippers you can buy that you can wear outside.
Hello, I completely understand. With RA for a very long time my feet have suffered badly and for my son’s wedding I wore loose floaty trousers and stunning top to deflect from dodgy feet!! I rely on DB widerfit shoes which have extra wide and extra deep toe box areas. They are not the most glitzy or stylish but are very well made and last for ages. They have styles that will accommodate an orthotic insole for comfort too. My feet are so bad that my everyday shoes are made by the hospital, you can imagine how trendy and gorgeous they are, but I can wear DB shoes in the 6E-8E fitting too so I really recommend a look. Good luck.
I'm in a simliar situation regarding footwear as my Podiatrist has me in either walking boots or other lace up supportive footwear. For the last wedding I attended I bought a lovely floaty Mint Velvet dress & some wedge sandals from Clark’s. My Pod approved block heel or wedge for stability. We didn’t stay too long after the reception as my h was getting edgy but I took a comfy pair of Fly Flot toe thongs with a wedge which I kept in the car just in case. They had a bit of sparkle so I intended to wear for them into the evening. I did change into them once we sat for the meal & it did ease the constriction of the day time sandals.
I hope you find something you're both comfy in & happy with.
With regards clothes seasalt, fatface and white stuff have lovely clothes that are easy to wear, elasticated waist, dresses without buttons that I find brilliant.Shoes wise I generally go for bright coloured flats or a slight wedge. Hope this helps and you have a lovely time (I'm 44)
Love Seasalt. I've a few tops & tunics, a snazzy raincoat & a lovely nightshirt, liked that so much I bought another actually, but the trousers aren’t my fit unfortunately. Just been looking through the latest catalogue sent me & there are a couple of summer dresses I’m thinking of going to our local shop to try on. What I find particularly pleasing is the sizing is generally accurate so have ordered online before successfully.
going out shoes are hard to find. I also miss all my lovely heels.. I can do ballet flats most days especially if they’ve got cushioning in like some Clark’s or M&S or better quality pairs. Wedges are also manageable and give you the heel height. Espadrille wedges are comfy in warmer weather. When everything hurts Skechers are so comfortable. I’ve got lots of trainer types and a couple of pairs of their comfy flats (which aren’t too bad looking) but they also do wedge sandals. I think depending on the outfit some of them could look ok. I wear a nicer pair of their flats with dresses in summer to work and it looks ok!
You could try Moshulu, they do colourful shoes both flat & low heels and I find them wide enough.
oh gosh I used to love moshulu. The last pair I owned went in the bin in rage that “they had got narrower”! That was the summer before my diagnosis 😢
wide leg trousers wiil hide flat shoes very well and teamed with nice 'floaty' top or jacket will look great. Or go with the trend and wear a longish dress with Pumps or trainers.
I buy a lot of my going out stuff from Simply Be. They do a lot of wide feet shoes and boots. My ankles and feet swell terribly since having ra. Vionic are good for walking trainers but I find their shoes a bit stuffy for me. I'm 42 so I know what you mean about unfashionable. I'm always torn between wanting something comfortable but not wanting to share with my Gran. 😆
@Try JDWILLIAMS they do extra wide fit and you can try them on at home and return any you don’t want free,Next day delivery would be an option, Or try Vinted for a shoe / sandal you like in wide fit, good luck . Ps you could wear an outfit with wide trousers then you would be able to get away with any comfy shoe/ even trainer if trousers are quite long
thanks all! It was so nice to read all these lovely messages sat on the bus into town. I’m meeting my sister for moral support and have warned her we may need a break for Dutch courage!
Doc martens have new sandals out. On trend, look comfortable and could wear with a lot. No point buying shoes for just one day. If you team with a maxi dress would look great on any body shape.I too had beautiful shoes and can't wear anymore. Sad times.
Faced with the same problem several years ago I chose to get a jumpsuit and jacket so I could wear sparkly trainers with my custom made orthotics inside.
I hope you find something that you will feel comfortable in - try John Lewis website to get some ideas. Good luck.
I find for a cheat’s heel that platforms that have much the same height at the heel and the rest of the sole do the trick and I get lots of compliments about them. Basically it’s like wearing a flat sandal so they are quite comfy and your foot is protected from that feeling that shoes that are too flat give you. Good luck and enjoy the wedding!
I have found this discussion very helpful, my eldest grandson is getting married at the end of July. I have sent off for a floaty dress from Roman Originals, they do free returns if you just want to change the size, as to shoes, I live in men’s Sketcher’s so I’m just so hoping I can find a lightweight pair in white, or have seen some woman’s Geox on line I am going to try, they are pale gold and beige with a zip. Good luck x
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