When "friends" don't understand

I've been increasingly bothered by an old friend who thinks it's acceptable to poke fun at my shoes. I find this so hurtful and think it's time to stop seeing her anymore. It's a shame really as we've been friends for nearly 40yrs but I just don't understand what anyone would get out of mocking a friends shoes especially when I've explained more than once that I can't wear ballet style pumps or heels because my feet are so painful. I don't wear horrid shoes, I have Hotter Shake and Nirvana in various colours or I have a couple of pairs of Earth Spirit. Why would anyone do this? Never mind wanting her to try walking in my shoes for one day. I'd like her to try walking in her shoes....with my feet...for just one day.

Has anyone else experienced this or had to lose toxic friends who just refuse to listen.

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67 Replies

  • I'm sorry your friend upset 😭 you, you know People can be so cruel! without even realising it? maybe she didn't realise how callus she was being and it came out wrong, however if you this is usual practice and regularly makes you feel small or lesser give her a wide birth you don't need anyone in your life who isn't right supportive! If it's a one off she might not even know that it upset you. I would tell her that she really hurt your feelings,

  • Thanks for your reply GillyGangGong, I really think she knows what she is doing as it's happening every time we get together. We don't see each other often anymore and just meet up now for birthdays and Christmas now. I can honestly say she has mocked my footwear on every occasion we have met over the past few years but has not complimented one single thing. I've said on a few occasions that I choose shoes now more for comfort as my feet are really painful and I cant walk in "fashion" shoes. She even called her twenty something son to look at my horrible shoes when I visited at Christmas. I was really hurt at the time but now I'm angry and think it's time to leave her behind.

  • Aw she sounds horrible could she be somehow jealous of you? as this isn't really something a friend would say!

    I wouldn't even give her the satisfaction of saying you hurt my feelings blah blah as she sounds like she's knows what she's doing! you could say something like, 'does it make you feel good taking the pee out of my shoes 👠 it's not right funny and to be honest it's not very attractive is it? she will know your not standing for it. she sounds very cruel saying that to her son I bet he was embarrassed. How old is she?

  • She's 49 so old enough to know better. I have decided it must be a jealousy thing too. It's sad really after being friends for so many years. I'm the sort of person who doesn't tend to take offence but on this occasion I think enough is enough.

  • it sounds as if she's trying to make you feel small to make up for her shortcomings it's an ugly thing jealousy! It's as the young ones say (Bait) I don't know how you usually react if you don't react ( much like me) it can really wind some people up as they don't know if they have got their point so become louder & increasing vile. it is a shame but it's probably time to say bye bye I don't know if you work or not? some people can actually get jealous of you being on the sick at home when they are working they must think 💭 wish I could stay in bed all day ect ect x

  • Hiya P! Unfortunately unlike the above reply I think she does realise it. The thing is with 'friends' like that who continue to pick fault there's just no getting through to them, they're just that way out & to be honest I feel you'll only continue to feel hurt as she's found a chink you react to that she can weedle away at.

    I'd consider if there have been other signs of her being unkind, it could be she's troubled by something herself. Or, if she's not someone you see regularly then distance yourself, there's little point explaining each time as it just dredges up feeling as you do about her & how she makes you feel. If she's bothered by that & asks why you're not around explain once again & if she continues to poke fun then say she's not so much fun anymore!

    You're ok otherwise I hope? x

  • I think you are right nomoreheels, I've had a think about it and she has never had anything nice to say to me. I always notice things like new haircuts, perfume or home improvements and make a point of complimenting these. Sadly she has never done this. I thought maybe she didn't notice that sort of thing but clearly she notices my "frumpy" shoes. I think jealousy is an ugly trait and it's time to move on.

  • I'm just like you, always noticing stuff & complimenting etc. Generally it's reciprocated by all but one friend (relative actually) but I've just got used to it & don't expect her to notice anything any more. The one that got to me was the last time we changed our car, no mention at all. She's just changed hers & we visited at the weekend so saw it. I really like it so I told her so (it's an Alfa & see she knows we like them as we've had 2). I couldn't believe it when she said she really wanted one like ours but they're too expensive! No mention at any time that she liked it until the conversation was about hers. Hey ho!

  • Some people are just so strange. Why can't everyone just be nice like us lol x

  • Hear hear! x 😄

  • What a difficult situation and horribly unjust.

    To me, especially as you've made known your feelings to her before, there is no excuse. I would be pointing out to her just that and stating that if she valued your friendship, then she'll need to change her ways and if she doesn't feel able to do that then she cannot be pArt of your life. It's childlike behaviour and very self seeking.

    Best of luck going forward and wishing you only good things in your life.


  • Definitely Jealous 🦋

  • If you've been friends for 40 years, I'm guessing that she's not a spring chicken. `Perhaps she secretly wishes she could wear comfortable shoes but is a slave to convention . Perhaps you could ask her what her problem is, and say how hurtful you find her comments.

    After that if she starts again, just ignore her/ turn your head away - treat her as a naughty child. Or avoid her altogether - her day for comfy shoes will come.......

  • She's certainly old enough to know better Janmary. I was thinking the next time it happens I would just walk away but looking at the bigger picture I've now decided the time has come just to move on. We have clearly grown into two very different people.

  • Time to move on. Life is too short. Our lives with pain and sacrifice is even shorter. Friends don't treat each other like that. You have been given the chance to examine your decades long relationship and realize it has been a one way street. With friends like that....who needs enemies.

  • Oh gosh . This happened to me too. I don't get it either. But mine were people who actually had ra and fibromyalgia!

    They all go for coffee 3 times a week at 9 am. When I was well I would drop kids off at school and go for a coffee.

    Then I got ra and my absolute worst times are in the morning . It takes me until at least 10 or later to get up showered and dresses. Never mind get out! They think I'm lazy. I tried to explain but they just don't get it. I said maybe occassionaly we could do lunchtime or evening? Happened once.

    So I hardly see them now. Until another got fibromyalgia and she so sorry she didn't understand.... lol...well tough ! Nah of course I was supportive etc. But she's managing now so I've been dropped again.

    As for shoe girl. Next time be blunt and say do you know you are hurting my feelings as I have no choice but to wear comfy shoes. That will force the issue. She will either stop and say sorry or think you are being awkward. If it's the second drop her?

    It's awful but if it's eating away at your self esteem she's not worth it xxx

  • I know exactly where you're coming from allanah. I never make arrangements to meet up before 11am as I would be exhausted from rushing around to be ready in time. My favourite friend is the one who is happy to meet up at 2pm for a Costa lol. She's a keeper! Those friends you have left behind sound no great loss. Horrible lot. x

  • Can she be my friend too ?

  • A friend laughs with you not at you. !!!

  • Very true Gigi

  • Yes this happens don't let it get to you ,she's a lot to learn about life we all make changes as life moves on be glad your not her

  • Thanks Junebee x

  • Wow it is a joy to be a member of such a lovely group of people. I hate waking up in the MORNING. I never know what this dreadful RA will come up with next. If your so called friend was Human she would be glad to have a friend in you. Ditch her and never speak to her again. I had similar experience and one of my lovely friends told me , in life there are times when we have to keep friends and times when we have to leave them behind. You need your self respect and she is not helping you let her go. xx

  • Thanks Saskia, it is a lovely group on here. I'm going to wear my sensible shoes and leave her behind for sure. In fact I think I'll get out my shoe polish and give my shoes a little tlc because they are kinder to my feet than she has ever been!

  • How awful - sorry for you. There's a bit in one of my books about "avoiding toxic relationships", and hard as it is, maybe you just have to stop seeing her. A fair few of my friendships have petered out since I got RA, which really hurts esp when you've no family either. Mind you, my temper hasn't improved with this disease, so some of that could be my own fault! Take care.

  • You're not alone in having a shorter fuse Scottslass. I'm so much less forgiving than I was pre ra. x

  • Hi Pauliwoo. I love clothes, have my hair and nails done regularly, but my 'shoes' are men's trainers in the summer and a pair of 6 year hotter boots in the winter. No other choice, but I can walk, albeit short distances. My family and friends compliment me on my hair, nails, etc and never mention the footwear. So I feel good. You don't need someone like that in your life. You need positive people who care enough to make you feel good. Hugs X

  • Tell her to take a hike darling she is no friend if she is taking the piss like that. If a friend of mine is like that in front of me what is she is saying behind my back. Your shoes are lovely and stuff what anyone else says darling. xxxxxx

  • I have been more than a little baffled by so called friends. It is like they are afraid it is contagious. My friend, stopped calling. My husband is always checking to see if she sent a text. I refuse to continue contact when it is always so one sided. I have been very independent my whole life. This is no different. Support comes from the least expected places and people. My husbands first wife being a great example. She has been very supportive. She text me on a regular basis to see how things are going. It is truly hurtful when the rejection comes from your family. My sister has autoimmune disease so you would think that it would bring us closer together but people have their own agenda. I think it is because she is the centre of attention in her world and there is no room for other sick people lol. My eldest sister died at 24. She passed a week prior to my giving her a kidney. Might be a blessing since I am likely to develop kidney disease given genetic mutations. Her entire life was this illness. She was on dualisms from the age of fourteen. I understand we all deal with our world in unique ways. My sister still resents that I managed to overcome childhood filled with violence by pursuing education. She barely finished grade school. Her husband is an electrical engineer so she is already surrounded by successful, intelligent people. It makes her feel insecure. She projects that insecurity to others. She believes all of his friends and I see her as less than. I tried encouraging her to open a craft store, she is brilliant with glass art. But she hears that being a housekeeper is not enough. Now she is fighting for custody of her grandchild. I do not support this decision so I am no longer a part of her life, so be it. I will welcome those who want to be in my life and not worry about others. In selfish note, it is just easier. She makes me nuts. So much drama. We would never be friends so why should being family change that. I do wish her all the happiness in the world but realistically know that that is not what she wants. She grew up with chaos and works hard to ensure is continues. I am mellow. I prefer to live in the moment. No matter how painful it is haha. At least I have genes which give me great pain tolerance !

  • Thanks for replying Damaged. It's so sad to hear about your sister passing away at 24 before you could help her. Family differences for me are definitely the worst. I fell out with my sister for about 6yrs and in that time we both missed out on so much. Luckily we made up in the end for my parents sake but I'm happy we did. I think you have the right outlook on life though as we have enough to contend with in our lives without people making it harder x

  • Sometimes this whole thing just saddens me. Bad enough that this disease robs us if our physical health, our quality of life, our motivation, our energy and not satisfied, it impacts our relationships - the way we view ourselves, the way others view us, the way others can never fully understand etc

    Sometimes, I just feel robbed!

  • I could not agree more. I would have thought that with her condition she would understand but it is hard to escape the effects of primary socialization. We grew up in a very disfunctional home. My father was an abusive alcoholic and my mother was bipolar. She passed at 67 waiting for a lung transplant. My father dies six months later, also age 67. They manage to continue pitting the surviving children against each other. If we are busy fighting each other we will not focus on them..I had the good fortune of intellect. I took an acedemic root to escape my life and make a better one for my son. I married at 18 but left before realizing I was pregnant. A blessing in retrospect. My sister has a grade school education and has never worked outside the home. Or at least very little. Her second husband of twenty three years, is an electrical engineer. I believe she feels threatened by everyone, especially me. She lives in an online world. She is obsessed with an internet game. I even joined it in an effort to find common ground. We had not spoken in fifteen years prior to my mothers death. I relocated out west as soon as I finished my Masters. My son was fifteen at that time. My siblings have never forgiven me for leaving. I did what I felt was best for me and my son, no regrets. I do understand that they saw me as a care giver but I was the youngest not the eldest. I did not abuse them but continually tried to compensate. I think it is survivor guilt. I know that I escaped a great deal of drama by leaving. But I am done apologizing. I did what I needed to do, make my son and I the priority. I put myself through school and continued working all while being a single parent. Despite the attitude of my family, who were certain I could not do it. I graduated with honours while completing a four year program in two years. I have always been a work aholic. At least until I was brought down by RD. Now I must attempt to redefine myself, one more time. I have always been a strong woman but Dang, my life can best be defined as "A never ending struggle, to overcome. I am simply trying to make the best of an impossible situation. It is all I can do to hold my life together. I have lost both businesses and my buyer backed out on possession day. It is all I can do to keep our house. For the past 16 moths it has been a battle for survival. It truly hurt to be betrayed by my sister , how dare I expect a thank you from her. Why exactly is it my fault she is unhappy with her choices in life? I would express my true feelings to her but she would never understand. It is easier to just not call. She has my number. I have other priorities. My siblings do not want me to succeed in life since we share similar childhood issues. If I could do it why couldn't they? The only reason was motivation and biology. It is not just what happens but how you deal with it that determines outcome. I was a very stoborn child. I had a lot to prove and that never ends. That inner voice still rings out with negative criticism. I work at silencing that voice with an , I can do it, attitude.

  • If she's saying that to make you laugh then perhaps she's just a harmless but insensitive twerp. But if she is really poking fun at you the stark truth is she's not your friend. Hotter shoes are ok but personally I prefer pickollino's or Dr Marten (bright blue with flowers on) or Rolling soft or Sketchers even lotus and Sheibel dose great well fitting shoes and boots. I have a pair of heels blue and wired silver they are by Sheibel and really comfy and on trend. But the point is you are not the sum of a pair of shoes but a friend. So tell her to take a hike or look in a mirror as your going to rearrange her face shortly. lol xxxx

  • Oh I'm far too soft to say anything like that but given a bit more coaching I may manage lol. I'll look up the brands you mentioned...not because of her I must add...its always good to try new styles. I do get terrible painful feet so need a nice supportive shoe. x

  • I love sketchers!

  • Wow this does open my eyes & reminds me of a "friend" I've had for that long too. I met her at 17 & now I'm 61. We worked together with the same company. As my RA was getting worst while working, I had to rest more at work. I found out that she had gone to my boss & told him I was just sitting around not doing anything. Also there was a time that I couldn't drive myself to work anymore so I asked her if she would mind giving me rides to work. To make it easy on her I would have my brother take me over to her house on his way to his work at 5am. I'd bring my blankets & just wait in her car until she came out at 7:30am. It was cold but I did it so she wouldn't be unconvinced having to come to my house to pick me up. After about a week of doing this, she told me that it just didn't work out for her to give me any rides to work any more. Even though I was very hurt I have never talked to her about this. I'm still friends with her but I don't see her as much since I retired & an in disability. She hardly ever calls me. I know something is not right about how she reacted to things but I was reluctant to give up such a long friendship. She's done several things like this over the years but I shrugged it off knowing she has a lot of problems. But now I wonder, should I have? Everyone's right about not needing this kind of a friend. I hope you are doing well. Sending u lots of love & healing. I think I must have your same shoes.🌻

  • Hi Richgirl - I still have some of that going on. When I am raking or using the leaf blower, I work a good strong hour or two, then I have to start resting every 15 minutes for at least five to continue. So I completely empathize with the need to stop every now and then.

    Wow, what a b****... I would have told you to come on in and have some tea or coffee while I get ready. If you were really a friend I would probably enjoy just having a chat while I did so. It is my body in the morning that can be a little slow, not my mouth. Man... the visual of you staying out in her car for an hour and a half in the cold makes me feel weird and very sad. I think you may be better off without her "friendship"

  • Thank you CaerylUSA, yeah I don't see her very much anymore because she's also very negative & she complains about her life constantly with ridiculous things that she could fix so easily. I use to try & help her because I felt bad for her but then I had to give up because she just didn't hear me anyway. There's been times that I almost lashed out at her & said: just be glad your not in my shoes. But I held my tounge. So I guess we've all had one of those "friends". Have a nice day🌻

  • I think this is an "ask Graham" moment send it into his Saturday (or is it Sunday?) radio show and see what answers the public give - the same as us me thinks - "Ditch her. There are truer friends out there to spend your energy on."

    All the best


  • Im getting the feeling your a glamorous lady! and fair plays I love clothes also👗 I think it's especially hard because friends and family are part of our past and a part of us. so we forgive But there's no way you should put up with her cruel remarks you need to get it out I. He open or lose her? I had a friend who thought💭you know 'as we were so close' she could say these underhand unfunny and inappropriate things in jest? like ew i couldn't wear this top if I had stretch marks like you I would confront her I couldn't help it to be honest or I might say something just as hurtful like I couldn't wear this top if I didn't have a bust like you with a grin!! she soon stopped.

  • Sounds like your friend values her style of shoes over your 40 year friendship....so shallow.

    I do know how you feel, as I too have a friendship of 40 years that is on the rocks. I do not expect her to really understand the pain of RA and how RA effects me....BUT I do and I have demanded that she googles Rheumatoid Arthritis to educate herself. I will not waste my breath anymore on educating RA to people who really don't "believe" in this "fake" disease.

    I wear whatever shoe fits my feet...and sometimes I have to wear my husbands sneakers when my feet are too swollen.

    ....So, if you are looking for a friend,....as we both are loosing our 40 year friendships.......well, wanna be my friend? :)

  • That's very sweet

  • Suzandale love your picture. Nice to see the face behind the namexx

  • Thanks allanah.

  • I'd love to be your friend Suzannedale :-)

  • There's never been a truer saying that a friend when you are in need is a friend indeed. I've found that since I've been ill I've pretty much lost all of my so called friends,and most only live 10 mins away - the hardest part is knowing everything you've done for them over the years,and even though it's never been reciprocated ,you do it anyway,because that's what friends are for,isn't it?! The most loyal friends in my life are the ones that live hours away,but will take a phone call from me at whatever time of day or night,because they're there to support me - and that's how friends should be. It shouldn't be a one way street,and certainly not when one thinks it's funny to make fun at your expense,especially when you've already explained the situation time and time again. I've had so many 'close' friends and family that have pretty much forgotten I existed since I could no longer be the designated driver on nights out(never used to bother me as I didn't drink due to the meds I was always on,plus I like the fact I can get myself home whenever I wanted,instead of having to rely on someone else's timetable!) or the fact I can no longer bail them out each month with money (the joys of not being able to work at the moment... it drives me potty as I've never not worked since leaving school in "89,so never had to watch the pennies before now). I used to get invited to weekend breaks away,or even just days out to family that live a couple of hours drive away(which we did on a monthly basis at least) but like I said,it's the people you hope would support you that end up letting you down the most,in my experience it seems anyway. With friends and family like that,at first it really used to get me down,and then after a long chat with a true friend,I decided not to bother wasting any more energy on these people - days are hard enough to get through as it is .... as most of you say,mornings are worse,and I can't even guarantee that I can get up each day,so I try to make plans either late morning or early afternoon - it may take me a day or two to recover,but at least I'm getting out of the house,and not getting stressed about it either. Nope,I've wasted more than enough tears and energy on negative people,that I've decided to just appreciate the ones that truly care,and it doesn't matter if we don't see each other often,as we live miles away from each other,and they have young families to care for too,but it's just knowing if I'm at a low point,all I need to do is pick up the phone and it's like we've never been apart.... true friends through and through... these are the people that I concentrate my energy on nowadays😊

    And as for shoes,I used to live and die in my reeboks,or little Ralph Lauren pumps, but since being ill,the only shoes I can fit my feet into comfortably are vans - I was never a fan before,but once I've put a pair of curly laces in,and made them more 'mine',they're tolerable. Curly laces are definitely the way forward.... I found them by chance and now I have them in all of my shoes,as with slip on shoes,I've had to cut the elastics when my feet swell,but by putting curly laces into normal shoes,it doesn't matter how much my feet swell,my shoes still stay comfortable as the laces stretch with them,and you haven't got to worry about doing them up with fingers that don't want to work either.... they really are a godsend,and they come in just about any colour you can imagine,so I buy them to match my shoes now too 😊

    It sounds like you've already made your mind up about your 'friend' ,so good luck with finding the strength to move on,and enjoy the people in your life that do support you.

    Nicki x

  • I'll have to look up the curly laces Nicki, I've never seen them before. Thanks for the advice x

  • Hi paulywoo

    No problem,I honestly can't remember where I got the idea from now,or if it was just something I found randomly when looking for anything to help the simplest of tasks.... the joys of insomnia and online shopping😊😂

    They're really great,like I said,they only cost a couple of pound at most as far as I can remember(I tend to buy a few pairs at a time so I have plenty of spares handy) and you can have any colour you want,but it's just the fact you don't have to bother with trying to tie them each time you put shoes on,when your fingers don't want to work, they really are a godsend. I usually get mine on eBay,there are so many places to choose from too.

    Hope they bring you as much comfort as they do me x

  • Hello paulywoo. I had to read this post because of the comfy shoes - I so relate! (Thank goodness for Hotter :-) I have also had 'friends' remark on them and it is really hurtful. If someone is giving you more stress and negativity than joy, then they are not worth it. I stick with the ones who actually support me. Anyone else can stick my comfy shoes up their .... :-) I don't see the worst offender any more. I thought it showed that in fact she didn't respect me and the shoe remarks just demonstrated her overall view. Sometimes we can't avoid people though and it still hurts.

    I think for me the comments especially hurt as my feet have always been a problem (before arthritis) meaning I have longed to wear beautiful shoes but couldn't) so already have a sore spot about it myself - so any remarks are rubbing salt in the wound. Like, don't you think I know?

    My kids were taught at school to use an 'I message' when someone hurts them - like 'when you make remarks about my shoes, I feel hurt and insulted, because ....' This is meant to have more effect than a 'you' message which someone hears as more blaming and attacking (like 'you are rude and insulting me') which puts them on defensive (so they are more likely just to go on the attack again) and makes you sound more assertive. Sounds like you have already tried to give her a lot of messages though and she is deaf! Time to stick with the keepers and leave this one behind.

    Good luck, from me in my Hotter shoes :-)

  • I am sorry to hear your friend being nasty but some people are like that I wear Skechers and I don't care what anyone thinks as they are comfortable as my feet hurt I can walk for a long time but if I wore fashionable shoes I would be in pain just ignore your friend just remember what goes around comes around x

  • I am sorry about the so called friend. You should pity her ignorance. If you see her again and she makes comments why not lay into her and tell her exactly why you have to wear comfortable shoes. If she is a real friend she will feel ashamed and embarrassed.

    I have recently had a situation. Not at work at the moment and have a match day job at a football club, quite senior. A few weeks ago the boss was doing his briefing and mentioned I wasn't there thenproceeded to make fun of me and said her that limps and went on to walk up and down limping, I think it is fortunate that my other half was late and missed it. I think he would have knocked him over a stand. He was told because colleague's told him. They had to restrain him from going into see him. Everyone was disgusted apparently and someone did stand up to tell him. I will deal with it when I return, not sure yet how but I will.

    I usually tell people would rather have a physical disability than be an ignoramace with a chip on their shoulder and no genuine friends.

    Best wishes

  • Oh Moomie that is shocking! What a vile man. x

  • I'm so pleased to see so many responses P. Reading through them it's occurred to me that I don't recall anyone at any time commenting negatively on my footwear, though initially I did used to feel frumpy when my feet were demanding I wasn't able to wear heels any more. Happily I can now albeit block heels or wedges but I can honestly say I don't receive any more complements or any less come to think about it!

    You wear whatever your feet demand, it's as simple as that, comfort is paramount not what someone thinks about what's covering them. I bet if you treated her the same way she treats you she'd be offended.

  • I'm busy with my Mum today. Encouraging her to get a bus as she's too afraid to try on her own. It's really lovely to see so many people have responded but I won't get chance to read them until tonight. Have a great day all. I'm going to wear something very comfortable on my feet x x

  • I lost a very close friend for much the same reason. She suddenly started "competing" with me at every turn, and what was funny in a way is that she internally declared herself the winner every time - even to the issue of shoes - ha ha. I can't wear wedges, so she would make sure to point out her "new wedges" when we went out for lunch or something.

    It took me a while to figure out what was going on with her, primarily not because I am stupid, but because I am a nice person. I didn't want to believe that she was deliberately being that mean, but I finally let the relationship go, as hard as it was.

    If she is more trouble than she is worth, find a new friend. =(

    And if you want to talk about ugly shoes, for six months, all I could wear were Crocs... In three designer colors - ha ha=)

  • Hi CaerylUSA

    Crocs are great - you're right,they're ugly as hell,but for pottering around the house or garden,they're perfect.... the only thing in our house is that we have to hide them from one of our cats😂 For some strange reason,ever since she was a baby,she's just taken a shine to them.... infact,so much so that I think she got all of her adult teeth while chewing (ruining) my other halfs at the time😻 Even now,more than 2yrs on,because she knows where they are in the hallway,she will literally try to break your neck just to get to the hallway before you just so she can start chewing on them ..... I know they have holes in anyway,but ours are more sharp and small,almost as if we're walking around with cheese graters on our feet😂 And as for Terry's first pair,we never did find where she's hidden one of his shoes.... so if they're comfy for us,they must be very comfy for cats 😝?!

  • Ha ha - either that or the other shoe ended up in the litter box in bits... Cats are so funny, huh?

  • Haha Caeryl I know your pain and have two pairs of crocs on standbye for when painful times strike. 6 months though lol. I hope it was spring/summer. x

  • Yeah Paulywoo - It was through the summer than goodness - ha ha

  • The really sad thing was that I couldn't wear any other shoes because of the knot on the top of my right foot. You should see a dress with crocs 'n' socks... ewwww

  • That made me smile Caeryl......

    My girlfriend in the States .....a Carol, instead if a Caeryl, bought silver glitter crocs to wear to her grand daughter's wedding & she was the Belle of the Ball!

    I must be really odd as I find them the most uncomfortable footwear I have ever tried,..I've got narrow bony feet & crocs blister every single bony protrusion !


  • Ha ha - That is cute - I didn't even know that they made silver glitter Crocs.. I also understand bony protrusions on feet! I think the reason they felt good was that they were wide and deep enough to handle my feet with the knot on top. Everything else tied or clamped across that very spot and hurt a lot. I couldn't get most of them on, let alone laced up, even with Velcro...

  • I've got really shallow feet too......with crocs I'm sure I could probably fit both feet in one depth wise!

    I'd just like something comfortable ....I bought some sneaker type shoes to go on holiday & on day two a toenail fell off......so they went in the bin & I walked everywhere in flip flops!

    When I look back on the teetering heels I wore in my youth - think I am probably getting what I deserve!

  • Ha ha - I wore those too for years and years... 4" - 5" heels - strappy stilettos. They looked wonderful and made me feel very sexy. I wore them for 10 - 12 hours a day, so yeah, probably getting what I deserve

  • She is either very jealous of you or a total bitch,either way I àm afraid its might be best for you to say goodbye,this illness is hard enough to fight with supporting families and friends, idiots who run you down,are to much of an effort. Warmest Craig

  • A friend of 40 years is a hard entity to deal with. Sometimes my friends give me a hard time about my frailty, they call me old man syndrome. I know they don't mean it.

    Sometimes it's best to just say how you feel. Something like "I can't handle you poking fun at me over my shoes, I'm in serious pain and it never goes away, I know it sounds ridiculous but can you lighten up in that regard, please, I need you as a friend ."

    A good friend will think that over

  • Hi P, getting angry is good as opposed to fretting and fuming as you have repeatedly TOLD her!! I don't care how many years she's supposedly been a friend, she hasn't overstepped the mark, she's chuffing well long jumped it with clogs on!!!! I have to have a significant raise on my left footwear due to losing my left hip. Not one of my friends EVER make negative comments, if they did and continued too, they would be history. Does she think she's doing you a big favour being your 'friend' and that you daren't end it?? If so, a wake up call is long over due. Chin up P stay strong,trust how you feel and bite the bullett xx

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