Just a rant !: Hope all ok some of you may wonder who I... - NRAS


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Just a rant !

Sunflower1977 profile image

Hope all ok some of you may wonder who I am I used to have a different user name as loppyloo but as I'd not been on I swapped my phone and forgot my password so came back again as sunflower well as you may remember my partner suffers from a chonic illness and is in pain most day he has also developed server depression and anxiety to we been in our house since 2014 when we moved in people in the house across used to come out and just sit and stare all the time we didn't think to much at the time but last year my partner and I had a very bad year and enough was enough so we asked what there problem was ho and did they tell us they said to my partner if you been ill for 12 years why ain't you dead yet , they also went on to say they take pictures of my partner doing the garden ( my partner gets no benefits ) this distroyed my partner and we contacted people who might help well we have now been told there is nothing they can do about it and we have to write dairy's now of anything that happens I'm angry and my partner now has social agrphobia and won't go out much sorry for the rant just need air off 😐

32 Replies

Sounds horrendous! As far as I know, it is an invasion of privacy to take photos, like stalking you. No good reason neighbours should be doing that, especially when he is not in receipt of benefits.

Perhaps a talk with a community police officer might help.

Done that but they said they will just monitor the area

They're malicious idiots who have just assumed that your partner is a benefits scrounger I suspect. Beneath contempt. Are you in social housing or a housing association property? If you are (and so are they) it would be a good idea to contact your housing department/association and report this long-term harrassment. If you own your house there is not a lot you can do apart from telling the police about it. Yes, keep a diary of the things they're doing to upset you but don't let these fools stop you living your lives. Huge hugs to you both

Sunflower1977 profile image
Sunflower1977 in reply to Gnarli

We are council they are private and untouchable and they know it

Gnarli profile image
Gnarli in reply to Sunflower1977

They cannot harass you under the law. Private, social, housing association, whatever. Causing alarm and distress to another is illegal. Perhaps contacting your council asking to be moved is an option? Asking your GP for a supporting letter stating a house move would be beneficial might help. AC's suggestion of contacting the Sally Army is worth a go and a chat with Citizens' Advice wouldn't hurt. I really feel for you. It's a nasty situation and you don't need it. Hugs

Sunflower1977 profile image
Sunflower1977 in reply to Gnarli

Thanks for it advice

If they are privately renting, do you know who the letting agent/landlord is, perhaps a complaint to them may help, along with the local council ?

Oh Sunflower that is terrible for you both. I’m so sorry this is happening to you and your partner. I agree with every thing Charisma and Gnarli have said and make sure in your diary you add how it is affecting your partner. I really hope you get supported in this and that action is taken against them. Sending you hugs x

Sunflower1977 profile image
Sunflower1977 in reply to

Just from the community police saying they will monitor it

These people have nothing better to do with their sad little lives, it must be horrendous for you both. I hope there is someone who can help you, sending hugs x

Sunflower1977 profile image
Sunflower1977 in reply to Bootoo

We have to wait till summer see if it starts again that's whAt we been told

Bootoo profile image
Bootoo in reply to Sunflower1977

I know it must be hard but just try to ignore them, hopefully they'll soon get fed up . I would report every incident to the council, it's antisocial behaviour and there is a law against it, don't give in to these halfwits

It must be very stressful for you, other then what is being said I don't know what else I can add. Do come here to have a rant , we are happy to listen.

Sunflower1977 profile image
Sunflower1977 in reply to Mmrr

Thank you in just feel so let down they say there is so much support for mental health no there ain't

That is horrible SF...if you are in rented accommodation would it be possible to ask to transfer away from these rotten neighbours?

Have you been in contact with someone like the Salvation Army...I know that sound crazy, but they do help people in all sorts of situations,& sometimes a visit from that sort of organisation can shame louts like you describe into not being the perfect neighbour,but could stop their unacceptable behaviour.

Are your other neighbours supportive...or like most these days they don't want to get involved?

I really hope you can get things sorted out....maybe somebody here has better suggestions to help.


The other neighbours with side are great but don't want get involved and these people think they own the street

There are some really sad clowns around who in the first instance don’t have a clue about chronic illnesses and have nothing better to do with their time, tell them to mind their own business and if they can’t take the hint I would get in touch with the police to see if there’s anything they can do Sunflower hope you get things sorted out xxx

The police just say wait and see if it happens again x

Omg what Nasty narrow minded individuals . Believe in karma . I hope it truly bites them hard . I'm so sorry , please bugger these people , this is are your life , not a dress rehearsal , sit in your garden in the buff if you feel the need ignore them I can only imagine how hard this is , but doing this goes to prove how little life they have 🤗🤗💐

They have taken my partner's life away he had to potter around the garden to keep him busy and cope with his pain now he struggles to Eve. Go and fill car with petrol as it means leaving the house

Can you talk to your doctor to see if your partner could get some support to help with his anxieties . CBT would be great as its hands on and at his pace helping him with coping mechanisms . Gardening is therapeutic so encourage him to potter again . I'm so sorry I can't be any help but I am thinking of you xx

Is that the congestive behaviour therapy then yes my partner started it last month but with the neighbours not being educated then he thinking why should he go we also got a letter from the doctor asking our housing association to educate these people but they are not prepered to do that

He mustn't worry about anyone else , just you and him . He needs to want to get better and he's on the right path doing the behavioural therapy . Keep heaping pressure on your housing association they have a duty of care to you . There is also a tenants agreement that your neighbours would have had to sign if they are in breach of this they can start proceedings . Also as said earlier it is a criminal offence to photograph people in their own home I do think if it continues I would speak directly to the council . Keep up that diary 🤗

Thank you

Sunflower I am so sorry you and your partner are going through this unfortunately it happens quite often. We moved here over 27yrs ago and have had problems with our neighbours ever since.A long list of thefts maliscious damage threats on our lives and threats of rape. They thought they could do what ever they wanted as people had been too scared to stand up to their intimidation(we didn't know they were like this when we bought the house) I rebuilt the wall between the houses and made it clear I would get police involved not as easy as it sounds but eventually things began to change a bit. New laws and a change in the local bobbies( some had been friends of theirs) His last outburst was in 2015 when he was arrested for making death threats with a gun.

When ever you speak to the police keep a note of the name and number of who you talk to in your dairy and what they say.You have the right to live your life and your hubby the right to dpotter in his garden. It is good for his mental health. I hope you can get help and find some support. it can feel like you are banging your head against a wall at times but there are laws against this it is just getting the authorities to use them, even though my neighbour owns his home if he is using intimidating behaviour the police can ban him from it for various periods of time. I am thinking of you and hubby .

Sunflower1977 profile image
Sunflower1977 in reply to madbad

Thank you so much for sharing your story at time you do feel so alone but it obvious it's everywhere now it's so easy for friend to say move but we're to and why should we thank you so much and hope things stay quite for u x

just wondering if this could come under the hate or discrimination law, obviously they have 'a thing' for what they think are people on benifits. Sorry if this is a daft idea.

No it's not we have been down that line our pcso said it's bulling and that we need to catch them but they clever they are all social media and hide behind others we just been told to wait tell summer see if it happens again.

Oh what horrendous people. I hope they soon tyre of bothering you and find something else to occupy their pea brains. All I say is karma ... and it will come to bite them in the ass! If it persists I would do as AC suggests and ask for a transfer. These dimwits should be severely reprimanded though by the police.

They say wait till summer see if it happens again

How horrid for you both ! I hope you asked them whats wrong with them, why they haven't got a life and feel it necessary to keep tabs on you and your partner?! it seems tantamount to stalking .................. I think I would speak with Citizens Advice or the local police to see if there is anything you can do ? If nothing, then perhaps start taking photos of them and see how they like it ! Keep writing every thing they do down in a book, with dates and times, so you have a log if you ever need it.

Good luck

Thank you we got police looking out for us but nothing they can do now

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