A thank note

First, I thank to all of you who responded to my posts. All I wanted was a piece of advice or possible suggestion. I know that there are agencies which place people au pair in host families. I also know that there are agencies in UK who place people with elderly who need company in a house sharing deal. I thought someone may suggest something or in the best case know a person who needed assistance in exchange for house sharing.

But why all the heated discussion after words?

I might be over-optimistic but not silly. Because, someone said that my post was silly. Where was the silliness? I was not asking for something extraordinary but for something real or even a common practice. The difficulty in our case has to do with the fact that we are two persons. But silliness?.... That might be more offensive than the phrase “you should stay there where you belong”, a phrase one of you said.

Because that particular phrase can be taken at face value: it means exactly what it insinuates. However, in the context of what it had been said before- about the particular hardships one might encounter there, noting the didn’t want to be discouraging – that phrase might (I said might) not be offensive. But just a moment. Why we people, especially the ones with the disabilities, should be that defeatist? Why we should stay home and not try our best? This is not a good piece of advice to RA patients. Because finally that would have as a result people defeated, without dreams, depressed.

As far as whether or not my post was not appropriate for tha site... I thought, that RA patients can discuss subjects related to their situation and not only medical. I also thought that RA patients can easily related to my case and give a piece of advice. That's all.

thanks again

7 Replies

  • I'm sorry for the reception you had. And that you couldn't get the helped you'd hoped for. I'm sure a web search will give you some agency names. Many of us are dealing with complex problems of our own and aren't in a position to help outwith all that. C

  • Ditto to Cathie's sentiments.. I didn't comment on your first post because I live on an island in a house that can barely accommodate my three sons - but I do sincerely wish you luck in finding what you are looking for. Tilda

  • Vicky I only recently joined this site but I'm not staying. I'm ashamed to be here. Your request is possibly a bit cheeky but I don't blame you for trying as I don't know the whole story about your personal circumstances. The 'humorous' responses to your last post were a disgrace. Good luck to you.

  • Dont go. this was exceptional and mostly the feedback is extremely helpful. Best to you - you're much appreciated.

  • Good luck in your search, I too hope you find what your looking for .

  • Hi Vicky

    Firstly I must apologise for posting on your original blog and I'm not in a position to help you I'm afraid. I don't think the humour was intended to offend and it was all very tongue in cheek but you have obviously been possibly offended or upset by it and I'm not comfortable with that. Good luck with finding the right site and even more so someone who can help you.

  • Hi Vicky. I have just sat & read your orriginal blog. I dont think for one minute anyone was being nasty or offensive, it turned into a dicustion about a film :-) . You must understant that many of us are struggling to live ourselves at the moment financialy. The goverment here have made some big changes regards benefits. So i supose to hear that you & your brother want to come to live rent free probably did ruffle a few feathers. I know you intend to find work but there are so many other people wanting to work but cant find jobs there just are not enough jobs to go round. Yes this site is always here to help, but i think its mainly for help with the day to day living with RA. In this country it is always being drumed in to our heads to be aware of strangers especialy the elderly so i think they would be very cautious to accomadate you both. Good luck & please dont take peoples comments to heart its just our british tongue in cheek sence of humour. Xx Alison

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