hi all feel rubbish

The follow on to my last post was dad came home when all care people were in place. He came home late on Tuesday night after my sister fetched him due to no ambulance being booked. The care started Wednesday morning and my elder sister was there to witness the question and answer session with social services, which was hard work as dad couldnt concentrate as he had been woke up. My sister and i decided to stay away for a bit to give it all chance to work, 1. because i'm not well enough have an infection. 2. elder sister wanted to know that they could and would coop. Well got a phone call this morning saying that career had found dad in a clump on floor as he had either passed out or tripped? He is now back in hospital with urine and chest infection again. So my question is why? Was he sent out before it had cleared or is it something he is doing once home . The last i heard was elder sister was waiting for Dr to arrive on ward to examine him. That was 1hr ago.

Sorry to go on but i am not well enough to go and i dont like waiting for news.

Hope you are all feeling much better than me if not sympathy all round.


8 Replies

  • I am afraid as I said with my mam , the carers can't be there twenty our hours a day and they often found her on the poor in the morning. Your octal worker really should be thinking of long term care for me. Hope the stress doesn't get you down too much Axx

  • It is a hard road when your parents age and get sick. You can't always be there and they are left to their own devices and the medical system no longer has capacity to care for them. It is not always possible for us to have them live with us and even if we did it is not always possible for us to be there all the time. It is a terrible situation and I hope that you can find a solution, maybe he needs to be in care. It will take some pressure off you all if he has constant care. I hope things ease up soon for you all

  • I'm sorry to hear this, it's not fun for your dad and stressful for you. It does sound as if you should start to look at care homes and discuss that with you Dad, as having pop in carers can never remove all risks. In the past few years I've had both parents in law and my mother getting frail, and constant urinary infections were one of the problems. I think that the older body doesn't deal with antibiotics as well as younger people and the just keep coming back. My father in law had to have antibiotics practically every other week.

  • So sorry to hear about your father. Sounds as though some residential care might be needed, but in meantime does he have an alarm? Mine did, though he did set it off by mistake a few times. No easy solutions.

  • Hi Chris, so sorry to hear you're going through this constant worry. I had a similar situation with my mum a couple of years back so know exactly what you're going through. I think the hospitals are so short of resources that they tend to have a patch 'em up and ship 'em out mentality, especially at the weekend. I don't know the circumstances surrounding your dad's condition but with mum we found out she was developing dementia so wasn't compliant with her meds and she got confused and told the carers she'd taken them and/or eaten when she hadn't. Again, they're so stretched that they're often in and out in a flash. Have you and your sister considered residential care? I know it's a tough decision as you want to do what's best for your dad and don't want to feel as if you're taking the easy way out but I can honestly say it was far and away the best decision we could have made for mum. She's now healthy and happy as the staff make sure she takes her medication, eats well and stays hydrated. I do hope your dad is soon on the road to recovery and you start feeling better xx

  • Sorry you are going through this Chris - the stress can't be helping your RA and it must be frustrating not to be able to help out as much as you would like either. My mother in-law has a heart condition and PMR and a few other serious conditions too so she's been given an alarm to carry round with her now in case she falls. It's not ideal of course but it means she can stay in her home and if she collapses she has this alarm attached to her constantly so the social services are alerted at least. Perhaps this would help your dad - but only if he knew how to use it I guess? Tx

  • It is a big worry and as you know worry is the worst thing for your own health. As Cathy has mentioned, an alarm worn round his neck can be helpful but if he is blacking out or falling then it might be best if he was in care for his own safety and your own peace of mind. It usually is the last option we or they would want but if he can't be safely looked after at home then it may be the best option. Perhaps if they had kept him in a but longer in hospital this may not have happened.

  • Thanks for all your replies, He was admitted and my elder sister got home at 10-10 at evening. He had fallen on his face and was wearing his glasses at the time so he a lovely bruise on his face. he had it scanned and there is no break. The last doc. who saw him on admission rubbed his bold head and said Eddie i think its time to look for residential housing for you. His eyes shot up and looked at my sister, i would love to know what he was thinking lol. There is all day visiting in this ward so that is better for me and sister. that leaves the evening for younger sister and brother who work to do between them. I will be glad when i feel better i did say to sister i was looking at Tuesday before i went again.

    Thanks everyone for listening it does help. Hope you are all feeling a little bit better and as pain free as pos.


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