The Reality Of Life

[SheenaL]

Hey y'all! So here I am, over 8 months smoke free, and I am kicking butt. The only problem is my wanting to rely on a cigarette to get through tough times. Naturally it will be my hardest feat because, after all, that is why I smoked. I thought it helped me with the things I had no solution to at the moment. Like today for instance, I had a tough day trying to hold it together and not letting people see me upset. I went to see my Lawyer today to file for a divorce from my husband of 11 years. Man, the fog I was in today... I told my mom that I wanted a cigarette and a beer (and I don't even drink). That's how terrible I felt. She said, "Don't start smoking because you've come this far." I said, " Oh believe me I'm not because it has been rough enough for me as is." It hasn't really been all that rough, except giving up something to do with my hands. Lately I find myself twirling my hair and chewing more gum. I have to be doing something with my hands and mouth it seems. Must be nerves to go with it. Any way, I will report that I have a lot of energy. So much so that I just want to run, run, run and it's odd bc I used to hate running. I just wish I had time to go run these days. Anyway, hope everyone is staying strong. I'm smoke free today and make a pact not to smoke based off my emotions and feelings. I can stay smoke free through a stressful time such as divorce. One day at a time. Love yall!!

[Hercu Valued Contributor]

Hi Sheena..Good to ''see'' you.......It is crazy how much we believed in that delusion that cigarettes or nicotine helps us getting through difficult times....It is so not true....we just allowed our brains to go into a "Fog" state and we thought problem is solved but almost immediately lit up another cig...

Walter Scott described it perfectly when he said “Oh, what a tangled web we weave...when first we practice to deceive.”

I have learned in my 2 and half year + smoke free time that to solve daily problems I need to rely on the strength I get from praying and believing that I can ....Definitely not a cigarette...!

Strongs in your Divorce and if your mind is made up believe in yourself and the guidance and strength you will get from Above...

Stay strong !

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free in reply to Hercu]

Such a heartfelt moving reply Hercu

[watchinangga 9 Months Smoke Free]

Hi SheenaL, it's good that you were able to overcome that craving of a cigarette during your tough day. I, too have those moments when all I think of is a cigarette that can make me calm down in certain nerve wracking situations, but then my hardwork of reaching more than 100 days of smoke free weighs heavier than puffing that one cigarette. I find that baking relieves my stress so I have stacked up all the necessary baking ingredients at home so when I am stressed with lots of things in life, I just enjoy myself baking in the kitchen and it relieves me from whatever i am going through.

I've been through divorce and it's totally stressful. I always hold on to this phrase "this too shall pass" and yes it did. Soon, this thing you're going through will be over. Hugs to you! xoxo

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free]

Hey Sheena, good to hear from you and well done for overcoming a very difficult curve ball. You are fighting very hard and have come such a long way as you approach 9 months smoke free, very wise words from your Mam.

When I read your post, I thought of something Hercu posted in Week 3 and 4 of his journey that stuck with me for the first few months of my journey that I printed it off and taped it to my fridge at home and my partition at my desk at work - didn't care who seen it as it helped me so much....

"...............realization and the terrible idea to cope with life and the curve balls on my own. Now I realized that life is a reality and not a false euphoria of happiness where I can light a cigarette and everything will be ok..........."

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free]

9 months today, get your update up girl