Teeth and gums problems since quitting....

[Phobicmaniac]

2 years ago at the end of this month.

In the last year, my teeth have severely worn down and a gap has formed between my front top 2 teeth - 1 is badly worn down than the other, bottom teeth are fine. I am absolutely terrified to go to a dentist but know I have to before it gets any worse.

I have always suffered with bruxism (teeth grinding) only in my sleep since I was a child and about 12 years ago I got a night guard for this which saved my teeth from wearing down any further and was great relief for me. Unfortunately, about 2 years, I threw the night guard in a hotel bin while on holidays by accident and never got it replaced.

Since I quit smoking, they have deteriorated dramatically and my confidence is just shot, I only smile with my mouth closed and only open my mouth slightly when talking as so conscious and paranoid about it.

I have money saved up at the moment and really want to get my teeth sorted. I am aware the treatment option will likely be implants / dentures as damage is irreversible but I am so embarrassed, ashamed and terrified to go the dentist to get a consultation as I have let it go so bad... and know I have a huge amount of work to get done.

Never imagined quitting would have had such an impact on my teeth. Has anyone else experienced this and if so, what treatments did you get. Any help or advice would be much appreciated.

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free]

Welcome Phobicmaniac and congratulations on almost 2 years quit, that is great! Unfortunately teeth and gum problems can deteriorate when we quit especially if dentistry care is not received. I hear ya about the fear and I will put my hands up too that I have not gone to the dentist since I quit which will be 2 years ago too in September, last year, I pulled out 2 filings and broke part of my upper and lower back teeth eating a toffee, I still have not gone to the dentist as the lining put in before filling is still in both and have no pain, but I HAVE TO go, it is on my list to do before the end of the summer.

It is perfectly normal to feel this way about going to the dentist but be reassured that the dentist will have seen all of this before and worse cases - wishing you strength and hope some other members can help more and give more advice.

Keep us updated

[mushen Valued Contributor]

Firstly, well done for quitting!

I am 46. Up until 2 years ago I had a severe dental phobia which started as a young child with a monster of a school dentist who once yelled, "Stop screaming, I can't see what I am doing". You get the picture. I was so scared I once overdosed on painkillers rather than go to the point I couldn't stop being sick. When I got there, finally, they said they didn't know how I had stood the pain and another 2 hours and I would have been at the hospital screaming in agony. That is how frightened I was. After that, I didn't go for 25 years. Then 2 years ago, I had no option.

I have been exactly where you are now. I was embarrassed, ashamed, petrified beyond words. I was so terrified, I even broke down just making the appointment. Couldn't fill in the form because I couldn't hold the pen when I got there. Went in, stood in the corner, crying my eyes out. I don't know what was worse, the shame or the fear. I understand where you are. I told the dentist everything about how I felt, the shame, the fear, all of it.

Find a good dentist. Find one who is good with scared patients. Book and appointment and go. You can do it. I found that things have moved on so dramatically and modern dentistry is very different now. Do not be embarrassed. My dentist told me they see many patients like me (and you). They do not judge you. And, they will be able to sort out ALL of your problems. I had all my front teeth built up with white fillings where I had ground them down. I had A LOT of work done. It changed my life. None if the work hurt (extractions\fillings and more).

Please, please, go. It will not be as awful as you think. They will have seen much worse than your teeth - really. I cannot describe what a mess my mouth was in. Where you see problems, a good dentist will see solutions. Don't leave this any longer. If you need to, send me a private message on here, I will be more than happy to help you.

Be brave. Face this because it really will change your life. My teeth destroyed my confidence and my dentist fixed the problems. Yeah it took multiple visits but it was all ok. And, after 25 years of absolute fear and shame, I am no longer scared and I smile at people without thinking about it.

I hope this helps. ☺

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free in reply to mushen]

What a great helpful reply Mushen.....

[mushen Valued Contributor in reply to RoisinO1]

All true I'm afraid.

[Phobicmaniac 2 Years Smoke Free]

Oh mushen thank you so much for such a detailed and helpful response, actually cried reading it as you summed it up perfectly and how I am feeling, I am currently researching the best dentists in my area (trying to do it without looking for recommendations from family and friends as I am that embarrassed and know they will know what I am looking into and just don't want anyone to know about it until I start treatment as need to also look at cost and how long treatment will be etc..

I am in Ireland - midlands so dentists are in supply but hard to choose which one to go for - there is one that I am thinking of - will send on to you in a message to see what you think if that is ok?

[mushen Valued Contributor in reply to Phobicmaniac]

More than OK. I am more than happy to help you if I can. Can also give you my email address if it helps. ☺

[Phobicmaniac 2 Years Smoke Free in reply to mushen]

Thanks mushen I have a family wedding so away for the next few days, picked the dentist today, was just by chance I came across it, popped up as an ad on my facebook newsfeed (there is benefits to these random annoying ads!!), it seems to be perfect, great at putting nervous and scared patients at ease and has got tremendous reviews so going to ring for a consultation on Monday, its 'thee day' and a huge deal for me, I am terrified but a bit more at ease thanks to yourself - scared of the work I have to get done, the price, if they find something more serious wrong. If you don't mind me asking, why had you no other option to go 2 years ago?

What I can't understand though is I quit cold turkey, off them 2 years end of this month and was a walk in the park compared to this...I hear people say they are scared to quit, go cold turkey, I would do going cold turkey over and over again - I know once I am seen it will be a different story, hopefully and please god!!

[mushen Valued Contributor in reply to Phobicmaniac]

Good stuff . You have taken the first step and found a dental practice.

I know this is a huge deal. I know how this can threaten to overwhelm you. I know everything that you are so utterly frightened of. I also know that it doesn't have to be this way. Trust me when I tell you that modern dentistry is nothing like it used to be. The things that can be done now are amazing and not always massively expensive. Dentists are trained to help patients like us who are frightened and ashamed and just about holding it together in the waiting room.

The issue that forced me to go was I became convinced I was going to lose one of my front side teeth. Never mind that I had ground down all the others to miniscule proportions! I had multiple problems from both neglect and poor dentistry in the past. I know you probably think that your teeth are the worst in the world but trust me, they're really not. I spent all of my time covering mine up. I even practised smiling with my mouth closed so nobody would see. It took a huge amount of energy to remember to do this all the time. It was constantly on my mind. I felt so very ugly.

Get your appointment booked and go. Doesn't matter what state you are in when you get there, just go. Remember, I was a sobbing, middle aged woman cowering in the corner of the room the first day. It will be OK.

You quit smoking for yourself. Now do this for yourself.

Courage is not an absence of fear. It is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

☺ Here if you need me. x

[Phobicmaniac 2 Years Smoke Free in reply to mushen]

Firstly mushen congratulations on 1 year smoke free! Hope you are celebrating, it really is some achievement and should be so proud of yourself!!

Secondly, your kind and reassuring words/reply are truly invaluable to me and I am so grateful, all my fears and feelings are exactly what you said, as soon as I make the appointment on Monday will let you know, this is probably a silly question, but will I tell my concerns and fears with my teeth over the phone when making the appointment as don't have a toothache or not in pain? Sorry to be annoying you - no hurry in replying, whenever you get a chance

[mushen Valued Contributor in reply to Phobicmaniac]

Yes, I did. Well what actually happened was I burst into tears while making the appointment. The lady on the end of the phone asked me if I was in pain and I said, "No. I am sorry, I am just so scared '. She was kind, told me not to worry.

I think it is a good idea to tell them when you ring them. Just say you are really terrified, haven't been for ages, you feel your teeth are a mess and you are embarrassed. Or just say you are very frightened. They will not judge you. They are used to seeing people like us. All of this is not easy because you feel so vulnerable but sometimes, you just have to say it how it is.

Good luck for Monday. If you need support, I am here. ☺

Oh and I can't believe I haven't smoked for a year. I never thought I'd get this far and without the people on here, I probably wouldn't have. 😁

[Phobicmaniac 2 Years Smoke Free in reply to mushen]

Well mushen I did it! Booked in for an appointment at 11:00 next Tuesday morning...

I had to wait about 10 minutes before I could type here as was shaking that much after making the call . I had wrote down what I was going to say, teeth a mess, not been in over 10 years and was terrified, only got to say I was terrified and not been in so long which suppose was the most important thing to say! After I got off the phone I almost burst into tears, it was a huge step and sort had a sense of relief....

Thank you so much again for your help, it really gave me the reassurance and much needed push to go for it!

[mushen Valued Contributor in reply to Phobicmaniac]

Well done! I know how difficult that must have been so give yourself a HUGE pat on the back. Now, do your level best to forget about it until next Tuesday. It is all going to be fine. 😃😃😃😃😃

[Aoibheann75 1 Year Smoke Free in reply to mushen]

Oh Phobicmaniac and mushen , what an unbelievable helpful post, reading both your stories, I was nodding away with EVERYTHING you both said, I really feel I have the worst teeth in the world and terrified I won't be able to get them rectified,

Mushen, was the white fillings the only option for worn down teeth, been googling and seen implants, crowns and even veneers are options for severely worn down teeth which I feel I fall under, and would you know if there is treatment for filling in a large gap, is that bonding? Sorry to be annoying you, would like to just have an idea what the options are, bite the bullet and make the appointment, again .... thanks in advance

[mushen Valued Contributor in reply to Aoibheann75]

I think there are several different options such as those you have mentioned. My dentist used white fillings on all 8 of my front teeth. He said that crowns were too expensive and too invasive. The white fillings last up to 6 years and are absolutely amazing. You'd be suprised just what cam be done. Put it this way, I had half a tooth at the top front and the bottom ones were little 'stumps' with flat tops. I paid about £100 per tooth which is much cheaper than other options. You really cannot tell, it is just so clever! I think this is called bonding. It is painless too.

Modern dentistry has come a very, very long way. Your teeth can absolutely be rectified.

Please book your appointment. You are not alone in how you feel and nobody is going to judge you.

Don't put it off any longer.

Here if you need me. 😊

[Aoibheann75 1 Year Smoke Free in reply to mushen]

Thank you so much mushen for your reply, cannot describe how helpful it is - looking at dentists at the moment so will ring to make an appointment over the next few days...

[mushen Valued Contributor in reply to Aoibheann75]

Good stuff. 😁

It really won't be what you are imagining you know. Get your appointment booked and just get it over with.

I think for me, that very first appointment was the most difficult. The very idea of allowing somebody to see inside my mouth was a huge deal. And all that happens is the dentist just has a look. Then you go away while he or she, cones up with a plan. It will be ok. After that first visit I felt like a massive weight had been lifted. After decades of hiding my problems, I finally told somebody and I felt so much better. Yeah, I was still nervous but out of all the visits (and there were multiple ones), the first was the hardest.

You can do this. No matter what you are feeling, just do it anyway.

Here to help if you need me. 😊

[Phobicmaniac 2 Years Smoke Free in reply to mushen]

Morning mushen , me again!! I know what you mean about the the first appointment, tomorrow is the big day for me and already my stomach is in knots thinking about showing my mouth to the dentist, god knows what I am going to be like in the morning, at least will have it over and done by lunchtime!!

[mushen Valued Contributor in reply to Phobicmaniac]

Exactly! I won't lie, it us going to take a huge amount of courage and emotional energy to walk through those doors tomorrow, but you are going to do it anyway. Afterwards you are going to feel so much better. It will be worth it. First visit is the worst but the good news is, you only have to do it once.

However you feel, however much you are freaking out, even if you are close to losing it completely (like I was), force yourself to go. Doesn't matter how much if a state you are in, the dentist is there to help.

What you have to do tomorrow is put everything you have into getting yourself through that door. I was near hysterical at one point.

You have what it takes to do this. I am on a training day all day tomorrow but please post because I will be back early evening.

Good luck. You got this. ☺

[Phobicmaniac 2 Years Smoke Free in reply to mushen]

Your help mushen is really invaluable and reassuring, thank you so much, will post as soon as home, one last question, how long did it take to get all sorted, know it was multiple visits for you but was it weeks or months before all was done?

[Aoibheann75 1 Year Smoke Free in reply to Phobicmaniac]

Best of luck tomorrow and wishing you strength, I am on holidays for 2 weeks at the moment so will check in all day tomorrow - will be thinking of you - you're my motivator and inspiration to make that appointment too

[mushen Valued Contributor in reply to Phobicmaniac]

Well I had a lot of stuff to do. It took months to completion. But despite this, it was all OK. Every appointment was OK whatever was being done. They have to do it all in stages. I think from start to finish it was probably 6/7 months , can't remember. But the end does come. You just have to put yourself in their hands. I think it was a week or two between the first and second appointments because he (dentist) said he needed to work out what to do. By the 2nd visit he had a good idea of what to do and took xrays and then by the third he knew what he was going to do. This was not rushed, there was no quick fix and I knew that. He ran through the best options and I picked what was right for me. This all takes time. But once you get over that first visit, it becomes OK. The building up of my front teeth was near the end - that came last and it was the icing in the cake! I am still in awe if how they do this, it is just so clever and so quick.

You should know that after all of this and all those decades of avoidance, I am now a 'low risk patient which means visits every 9 months, not 6!

Don't worry about how long it will take. It will take as long as it does and then it will be done.

You are going to get through this. I know that familiar feeling of dread and I know that it is possible to force yourself to do this despite wanting to run away.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow. It really will be OK. ☺

[Aoibheann75 1 Year Smoke Free in reply to mushen]

Thank you for your informative and reassuring reply mushen - it is such a relief that other people are going through/gone through this problem....

[mushen Valued Contributor in reply to Aoibheann75]

Oh, you are so not the only one! My dentist told me that they see many people of my age (46) who come in, in the same state as I was and that my story of the fear starting with the butcher of a school dentist, was very common one.

You are not alone. For some reason, it is not something we talk about. We become ashamed and embarrassed and it just makes it all worse. But there are so many people feeling the same. At one point, I found a dental phobia forum and there were literally hundreds on there.

I would not wish the way I suffered (for years) upon anybody else because it is truly soul destroying. The state of my teeth literally consumed my thoughts every moment of every day. Even drying my hair was awful because I would catch sight of my teeth in the mirror.

You are not the only one.☺

[Aoibheann75 1 Year Smoke Free in reply to mushen]

Ah mushen you made me cry but in a good way!! Maybe you should set up a sub community here and myself and Phobicmaniac can be your side kicks (won't put up the teeth grinder emoji until I have my new teeth!!) , you are so reassuring and put across the exact feelings so perfectly...

[Phobicmaniac 2 Years Smoke Free in reply to Aoibheann75]

Thanks for that Aoibheann75 , made me laugh!!

[Phobicmaniac 2 Years Smoke Free in reply to Phobicmaniac]

Thank you mushen , sending you a virtual hug (((( )))))

[mushen Valued Contributor in reply to Aoibheann75]

Aww. Thank you. I just want you to know that you are really not the only people who feel the way you do, that's all. Nothing worse than feeling isolated is there?

Yeah, we should set up our own little forum - I think we'd be very popular indeed!

I tell you, by the time we are a finished, we'll have the best damn smiles on the site! Lol! ☺

[Phobicmaniac 2 Years Smoke Free in reply to mushen]

Well mushen and Aoibheann75 - I did it and on an absolute high, came out the dentist with happy tears just saying to myself Mushen was 100% right with everything she said.

My dentist is just great, prefect for me and put me at ease straight away, thank god, as thought I was going to have a mini meltdown telling her my story, before she even looked at mouth a huge weight I have been carrying for years was lifted off me, just like you said.

Got a full thorough examination both inside and outside of my mouth and jaws, 4 x-rays and sensitivity tests - so it is a lot better than expected and I don't have the worst mouth in the world! I have to get 3 fillings, 1 extraction and 2 root canals done on my top 2 front worn down teeth but should be ok as the nerves are gone in them. Then when all that is sorted I am going to be referred to a specialist to rebuild my teeth and get my smile back My first appointment is with the hygienist then fillings the next day in 2 weeks time as on holidays next week.

Aoibheann, please make that appointment, it will be ok and such a relief to get it done and over with, I promise!

[Aoibheann75 1 Year Smoke Free in reply to Phobicmaniac]

Really so happy for you Phobicmaniac !

[mushen Valued Contributor in reply to Phobicmaniac]

Yaaayyyyyy!!!!

AWESOME!

FAB!

This is just brilliant news. Well done for having the courage to face your demons.

I really am so very, very pleased for you.

It is all going to be just fine. 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

[Hercu Valued Contributor]

Phobi.... Welcome and well done on your quit and yes, now it is time to build your self confidence even more...Firstly you don't smell bad and secondly you want to smile to the world ....

I think a lot of quitters first objective is to get that yellow stained ,black broken teeth fixed or removed.

I went to a mouth hygenist after quitting and had a clean up on the old fixeble tooth.. It was fairly unpleasant to get that 38 years tar and Sh*t build up removed....She then recomended a dentist and also a she did the best she could by fixing but some needed to be removed and replaced by implants (In my country very expencive).

Now I can smile and fully use my new found taste buds...!!

[Hidden]

Phobi, just remember this. The last thing a dentist will do is judge you. Dentists have seen everything. What drives any good dentist is to improve a mouth. So let a dentist use his/her skills to help you. They will feel great and so will you.

[Phobicmaniac 2 Years Smoke Free in reply to Hidden]

Ah thanks so much for your reassuring words Hidden - will keep you all updated on things....